I’m not trying to get into the SMDB’s pants 
But you seem highly motivated to not believe her.
I’m sure she has had more than one experience with such a guy. Maybe a few of these guys have chased after her and been surly when she wasn’t interested. Or perhaps she heard them bitch and moan to each other on the bus. Who knows? Why don’t you ask her?
Because she’s not whining and blaming other people for rejecting her? I dunno.
So sorry that some people are thin-skinned hothouse flowers that cannot bear to hear any criticism, even if it’s done politely and kindly, and in an attempt to really help them. Too bad these sensitive creatures therefore never learn and grow from their mistakes, but instead blame everyone else for their own shortcomings. Too bad.
Getting criticism hurts, and it sucks, but if we never get it, we never improve. Sparing us our feelings by never telling us what is really wrong is cruel. It’s cruel. You see, I’ve had that done to me too. I had no idea what was wrong, but nobody would tell me. It’s cruel to do that. It’s spineless. I have no respect for people who do it. The OP didn’t do that.
A person has a few experiences, they talk to someone else who has their own experiences. They then say, “OMG! I know this type of guy!” And so forth and so on. People start to recognize a “type.” God Forbid people recognize a “type” and talk about it.
You know, I have encountered a certain “type” of asshole art critic throughout my life. In a current Cafe Society thread, someone wrote a song about this same “type” of asshole art critic. “OMG! I know that type of person too!” I commented. This happens all the time, in all circles and with all types of folks.
Because they have to learn how to improve themselves to get what they want. If they turn into churlish assholes, they can’t expect people to want to wade through that shit. Nobody can expect that.
Isn’t that usually called bigotry?
It has all the hallmarks of the ‘he didn’t do exactly what I wanted so I’m going to bitch and moan’ rant.
Alright then. OP, what led you to define an entire group of people based upon this one individual and rant about that group?
Nah, she’s just whining that this guy wasn’t exactly what she wanted.
So then it’s fair to criticize her for labeling an entire group, lumping in whoever she feels like, and then bitching about it rather than just calling one guy a pain in her butt or simply being pissed that he wasn’t the Prince Charming she thought he’d be?
Like the kind of person who stays mad for six months over getting luggage instead of an engagement ring as did one of the girlfriends mentioned in this thread?
Quote:
CanvasShoes said:
As several of us have said several times in this thread, these are the reactions of men when we turn down UNSOLICITED requests for a date. For instance, men who know us from work, school, a club who approach us.
You’re contradicting yourself right and left here. First you say that, as you do above “well, if they get turned down, no wonder they bitch”.
Then you say “if you change your parameters to make sure that you’re not going after only tall, rich, goodlooking etc men” you wouldn’t BE only having guys treat you this way.
A coupla things. The subject of the OP isn’t being pitted because he’s a man. He’s not being pitted for not being rich, tall, goodlooking, or whatever enough.
He, and others like him are being pitted for their behaviour. And behaviour, such as that described in the OP. Bitching, DURING a date, about how bad women are" is bad behaviour
Lastly no one, man or woman “owes” someone else a date or a relationshio, and getting turned down is not a valid reason to verbally abuse someone.
Quote: canvasshoes
Why should she put up with the way he acted during the date? If he acted like a jerk, she was well within her rights to tell him off.
Boy, talk about lack of reading comprehension. This had nothing to do with his lack of tallness, popularity, good lookingness or wealth. It had to do with his ACTIONS and BEHAVIOUR, which were bad form at the very least.
And what he’s being bitched at about were something that he very WELL could and SHOULD change, unlike tallness, wealth, looks etc.
She wasn’t bitching at HIM because of this, she was nice during the date. If you’d read the OP you’d see that she didn’t say anything to him about perhaps learning some social graces (paraphrased), until after he’d stood her up and then whined and bitched about who bad women are some more, when he called her for the 5000th time.
If you (collective you) screw up, as he did, you’re GONNA get called on it. Either IRL, or in some sort of pit forum.
Quote:canvasshoes
Do we “owe” men a relationship merely on the basis that they want to have us? If a person, any person male or female, behaves badly, a person is well within their rights to tell them so. He spent the entire date whining about how badly he’d been treated by women in the past, how women only date assholes, etc. This is not acceptable behaviour, from anyone, Man or woman.
Hmmm, your true colors as a 14 year old male adolescent come shining through. Again, if a person, male OR female, acts the way the man in the OP did, then the person on the recieving end is well within their rights to tell them off. And yes, owing people respect I agree with. This does not mean that you eat shit from them if they behave badly. The man in the OP did just that by continually bitching at the OP how bad women are, and how they always date assholes, etc.
This is verbal abuse. And not only that, since the OP wasn’t dating anyone else, it was stupid and incorrect on his part.
Quote:canvasshoes
Neither is anyone in this thread is complaining about only finding rich, tall, goodlooking assholes who treat them badly. (remember? your post about us supposedly choosing the wrong parameters for out dating pool?).
Child, you need to go back and take a few english classes, cuz it ain’t piercing the void. I notice you conveniently left out where I described the circumstances under which this can and does happen to women.
MOST of the time, the SPNG happens in an unsolicited environment, the OP is the exception rather than the rule.
But, since you’re having trouble understanding it, I’ll explain it a little more slowly.
Unsolicited means that you didn’t ask for the date, or the attention. It means that a strange man, in a public setting, comes up and asks you out.
1.) We’re not talking of JUST men we have agreed to date. We’re talking about random, unsolicited approaches by males on the street, in stores, at our job.
You know, even you should be able to comprehend society and the concept of public places.
One for instance for me. (And ONLY for me. The idea here is that you are then supposed to be able to extrapolate this out into larger groups of women and their experiences.)
At any rate, this example, meant to illustrate the concept I’m attempting to get through your thick little skull is as follows:
I teach dance, so I’m a somewhat public figure. An itty bitty frog in a medium sized pond, but a somewhat well known one in the fitness and dance circles. So, anywhere from 30 to several hundred students (charity events) attend my dance classes.
I haven’t set any “parameters” at all, other than teaching some fun dances and getting the students to have fun. But in the more well-attended events, I get approached a lot by men wanting my number. I’m not interested in dating at all at this point.
And MOST men take no as an answer graciously. But a few times a year, I get the SPNG, who gets all sarcastic, “yeah, I know you women only date bad boys, we nice guys never get a chance” and accusatory when I turn him down. I don’t know this guy, didn’t know him when he walked up. And more importantly, he has NO clue who, or IF I’m even dating.
Nor does he have any clue what sort of men I prefer, so he’s being a total asshole, NOT a nice guy as he proclaimed himself, and is way off base to boot.
Quote:
At any rate, Nice Guy (tm, I still didn’t get that to work whoever showed me how to do it ), is the name they give themSELVES. As in, “I’m Nice Guy, I deserve to have her more, that asshole doesn’t, but that’s right (heavy sarcasm and bitter tone ensues), woman always date the bad boy”. And so on.
God, I thought you were just a little stubborn and misguided, but it turns out you’re really a slavering Idiot.
You’re equating 'turns down for a date" as “being shit on by a bitch”. Other than that, what is your point here? That the fact that some men have been turned down for dates then have the right to behave however they damn well please to women? Two wrongs don’t make a right. I have no doubt that some men have been treated unkindly by little Miss Prom Queen (of which I am not a member BTW).
Again, this still does NOT make it okay for them to go out and be assholes to ALL women who turn them down. The BEHAVIOUR is still assholish and is NOT being a “nice guy”.
Quote:
Say, are you a girl? Who is hit on by men? No? Well then how would you know whether or not this type of person exists? If you ARE a girl and have never had this happen, you’re very, very lucky.
I have no idea who Catharine Mackinnon is.
And once again for the thickheaded. I’m not talking about being approached and being asked out. I, and the other women in here, are talking about the assholes who start in with all the “of course not, girls never want the NICE guys, they only date assholes,and so on…” type men.
Quote:canvasshoes
And lastly, Cite please? Who, in this thread, has said “all men are scum”?
That’s a superior success in a pathetic and non-responsive reply in trying to wiggle out from under a legitimate argument.
No one has even come close to the “some of my best friends are black” argument.
No one, in this thread, however maniacal the women you know IRL, has said anything about “men”. We have been pitting a behaviour of a specific type of guy.
You’re so desperate in this need to protect men, that in any thread that even remotely says a guy might have done something wrong, you rush in, claws aflying and knees a jerkin’. No attempts at logical or analytical discussion have any effect.
Nope a man has been insulted, so it’s time to bring out the big guns, accusations of extreme feminism, comparisons to fringe lunatics we don’t even know the names of.
After umpteen millino of these cat attacks, wherein you really have no clue, and really aren’t interested in the thread’s actual subject matter, I’ve come to the conclusion that you are really either:
A 13 year old male
A woman so desperately in need of male attention that one can do NO wrong, and you’ll throw down your guantlet and proudly do battle for them no matter what they’ve done, just in the hopes you’ll impress one enough to actually have one
You’re bonkers.
(I’m leaning toward a combination of 1 and 3).
But, at least you’re interesting, so you’ve got that going for you.
Oh give me a freakin’ break. If that’s the case, we’re all bigots. I’m a bigot against asshole art critics. Sheesh. Stop the presses. People notice “types.” Books have been written about “types.” Where have you been, railing against this grievous bigotry, all this time, then?
Sez you. It sounded to a lot of us like he was whining and being a pain in the ass.
You see it that way. More of us see it as he’s wimp.
A group of assholes or whiners. That’s the “group” she’s targeting. That’s the group that is being targeted by others. So, you want to stand up and defend assholes and whiners (which is exactly the “type” being discussed here)? Fine. Why don’t you stand up and defed asshole art critics too, while you’re at it? After all, I had the gall to make comments about noticing that “type” of person. Here—go for it. Step up for all the poor assholes who enjoy criticising other people’s works and rejoicing in others’ failures. (See my long-winded description of this type about halfway down the thread.) That was the type I was talking about, and the author of the song discussed described the same “type” as well. How dare we live our lives, make observations and and have experiences, and because of that, be able to define a “type” of person and then dare to comment on them! Please. Set us straight on how cruel and unfair and bigoted we’re being.
What in the hell are you blathering about? She talks about who she feels fits the description, and she describes the behavior of such people. The nerve!
Or let’s go back to pain in the butt, shall we?
It would be one thing if she were naming specific guys’ names, but she’s not. The kind of guy she names doesn’t exclusively belong to any one age, race, social status. And people have described the female counterpart of this type of person. Stop trying to find an innocent, tragic, misunderstood, discriminated-against victim here. There isn’t one.
I took that as kind of lighthearted gripe, not as a seriously grievous complaint on her part (not a deal breaker), but I see you’re going to try to make the most of out it and make it more than it really is.
I see that CanvasShoes has also responded, but I’ll go ahead and post this anyway.
[scarlett o’hara]I do declahe, I just neveh CAN figuh out which one of you boys is the better coder[/scarlett o’hara]
(you know what’s really bad? I’m actually a fairly decent hand at computers, not IT genious level, but many people accuse me of geekdom, I’m ashamed to say that I know AutoCAD, and I custom built my desktop. So I don’t get it, it’s just THIS darn forum that continues to ellude me. Oh yeah and POS machines don’t like me either. Must be my streak of blonde :D)
Problem is that she’s going after an entire group of her own definition because of this one person. If she was just bitching that she had a bad date, oh well. But no, it’s gotta be some group of guys.
That’s really funny, since I’ve never been a 14 year old male adolescent, and can never possibly be one.
I don’t have any problem understanding you. I just think that you’re a bigoted person.
Feminazis usually think so.
Which you conveniently amend the definition of ‘nice guy’ to fit any guy you have a problem with. Typical feminist tactic.
Wrong on all counts. I’m 26, female, and quite happily attached.
I have a lot going for me. Unfortunatley you’re just a thickheaded feminist bigot.
I picked my pony. Unless of course you’re saying that one can’t protest bigotry unless one protests all forms of bigotry, which would be idiotic.
Well I guess that automatically makes you right, doesn’t it?
Which supposedly means that my opinion is automatically invalid?
Who may or may not actually be assholes or whiners. If they don’t exude what she wants in a man, they’re going into that group?
Especially not the OP who just didn’t get what she wanted out of that guy.
It’s petty and bitchy, that whole whining about not getting the gift she wanted.
Quote:
yosemite said:
Of course, you can continue to disbelieve her, but she was there, you weren’t, and your default assumption that she must be lying (because she’s not giving you the answers you want to hear) is not really all that compelling to the rest of us.
I don’t have to believe her simply because ‘she was there.’ As much as she says this guy was whining about how women are, she started this thread to bitch and moan about some type of guy, which she must’ve had more than one experience with or she wouldn’t have whined about a group.
How is her complaint that much different from his?
Quote:
Someone kindly telling you that self-esteem is sexy, and “better luck next time” isn’t quite in that same ballpark. I’ll repeat: men are not hothouse flowers.
So terribly sorry that not everyone reacts to criticism the same way you do.
Quote:
You’ve been told this before, and you won’t seem to acknowledge it: people here are not primarily complaining of repeatedly getting the same undesirable result. They are just talking about the Nice Guys that they’ve encountered, and what a pain in the ass they are.
You cannot possibly actually be this stupid.
The entire group, (I’m hoping you’ve by now realized that we are talking of a specific group of people who all exhibit and share a specific characteristic?), has named themSELVES. They are the ones that call themselves “Nice Guys”.
And again, as several of us have said several times, we bemoan their appropriation of this term, as it was a perfectly nice and serviceable one to apply to the GENUINE Nice Guy. Of which, (AGAIN, a fact we’ve attempted to get through your brain numberious times, and not just in this thread), we all believe there are PLENTY still available.
Quote:Yosmite
If he’s behaving like a whining wimp or a self-absorbed jerk, then she does not necessarily owe him the extra time and effort to delve into his personality and find out why he’s really this way.
You’d have no trouble escaping nukes lobbed at your head, you’re so EXCELLENT at missing the piont.
No, it does not mean that men are supposed to be all tough etc. Once a person reaches adulthood, they ARE however, responsible for their actions and behaviour. If a parson has such scars and damage that they are truly having that hard of a time, then counseling, or professional help is the appropriate response.
NOT that of taking it out on every woman one gets turned down by. It is not a strange woman, who the man has never seen before, but only approaches to ask for a date, (or one who he has dated once, and is turned down for a second date), it’s not her responsibility nor SHOULD It ever be, to act as his psychiatrist and “fix” him.
Particularly after he’s just gotten through bitching and whining at her, and insulting her.
Like Yosemite said, is it supposed to make the woman suddenly go “OH, what was I thinking, wow, I didn’t know I was going to be insulted, verbally abused and my entire sex put down for the entire time I’ve known you!!!, Well, hell, in that case FORGET the GNG (genuine nice guy), now, I MUST have you, you sexy abusive hunk you”.
I mean …“WHAT”? Be real.
If you approach a woman, and upon being told “no thank you”, begin to berate her, and all women for the sin of every woman who’s mistreated you before, it does not matter how horrible OTHER women were to you. IT IS NOT BEING A NICE GUY. It is being an ASSHOLE. It’s that simple.
And Yosemite made a good point with telling a person why you don’t want to date them. It IS, to some, more cruel not to know. Unfortunately, with some people (men AND women), once told what’s wrong, they start getting all clingy and frantic and promise to “be whatever you want”.
GAaaaaah, shudder. That’s another thread, but that’s almost worse. :eek:
Quote:
You’ve been told this before, and you won’t seem to acknowledge it: people here are not primarily complaining of repeatedly getting the same undesirable result. They are just talking about the Nice Guys that they’ve encountered, and what a pain in the ass they are.
You cannot possibly actually be this stupid.
The entire group, (I’m hoping you’ve by now realized that we are talking of a specific group of people who all exhibit and share a specific characteristic?), has named themSELVES. They are the ones that call themselves “Nice Guys”.
And again, as several of us have said several times, we bemoan their appropriation of this term, as it was a perfectly nice and serviceable one to apply to the GENUINE Nice Guy. Of which, (AGAIN, a fact we’ve attempted to get through your brain numberious times, and not just in this thread), we all believe there are PLENTY still available.
Quote:Yosmite
If he’s behaving like a whining wimp or a self-absorbed jerk, then she does not necessarily owe him the extra time and effort to delve into his personality and find out why he’s really this way.
You’d have no trouble escaping nukes lobbed at your head, you’re so EXCELLENT at missing the piont.
No, it does not mean that men are supposed to be all tough etc. Once a person reaches adulthood, they ARE however, responsible for their actions and behaviour. If a parson has such scars and damage that they are truly having that hard of a time, then counseling, or professional help is the appropriate response.
NOT that of taking it out on every woman one gets turned down by. It is not a strange woman, who the man has never seen before, but only approaches to ask for a date, (or one who he has dated once, and is turned down for a second date), it’s not her responsibility nor SHOULD It ever be, to act as his psychiatrist and “fix” him.
Particularly after he’s just gotten through bitching and whining at her, and insulting her.
Like Yosemite said, is it supposed to make the woman suddenly go “OH, what was I thinking, wow, I didn’t know I was going to be insulted, verbally abused and my entire sex put down for the entire time I’ve known you!!!, Well, hell, in that case FORGET the GNG (genuine nice guy), now, I MUST have you, you sexy abusive hunk you”.
I mean …“WHAT”? Be real.
If you approach a woman, and upon being told “no thank you”, begin to berate her, and all women for the sin of every woman who’s mistreated you before, it does not matter how horrible OTHER women were to you. IT IS NOT BEING A NICE GUY. It is being an ASSHOLE. It’s that simple.
And Yosemite made a good point with telling a person why you don’t want to date them. It IS, to some, more cruel not to know. Unfortunately, with some people (men AND women), once told what’s wrong, they start getting all clingy and frantic and promise to “be whatever you want”.
GAaaaaah, shudder. That’s another thread, but that’s almost worse. :eek:
No?
There’s a significant difference between “All guys are XXX. They suck.” “Yeah!” and “Hey, you know guys who are XXX? They suck.” “Yeah!”
–p
Until you start amending XXX until it fits damn near every person who has ever not been exactlywhat you want another human being to be. 
You’re trying to say that recognizing and discussing a TYPE OF BEHAVIOR and the people who DISPLAY THIS TYPE OF BEHAVIOR is bigotry, which is idiotic.
If the OP had said, “All Armenian men from Glendale, California have a certain type of behavior” then perhaps that would be bigotry. But she’s not singling out all men, she’s singling out people who behave a certain way. The way I single out people who rejoice in other people’s failure, and enjoy pointing out people’s failures.
So please, explain it to me: how exactly is my describing a type of art critic (one that rejoices in pointing out others’ failures) “bigotry”? And who is it bigoted against, specifically? Because I described a “type” and so did the OP, and you’re calling what she’s doing bigotry. So it must follow that what I did was bigotry too.
It doesn’t automatically make me and all the others who agree with me right (who obviously outnumber you by a great bit) but it certainly doesn’t make you right, and it doesn’t make us want to take your word for it.
Which means that few are seeing it your way and many probably think you’re full of shit.
If it talks like a duck, and walks like a duck, and it quacks like a duck . . . Look: if someone behaves like an asshole or a whiner, then THAT’S WHAT THEY ARE.
Where do you get that? There are very likely many guys that don’t exude what she wants in a man, but they’re not getting put in that group. They might be put in the “skinny and hyper and very nice but not my type” group, or the “too political” group, or whatever. There are more than one group, you know.
It actually kind of funny, in a light-hearted kind of way. Well, unless you are humor-impaired.
When I was about 10 years old, my mom gave me a book (not a children’s book) about the life of Nostradamus. A very weird gift, since I was looking forward to Barbie Dolls. I still tease her about it, but I don’t despise her for it. It’s just one of those funny things.
Quote:
CanvasShoes said:
He, and others like him are being pitted for their behaviour. And behaviour, such as that described in the OP. Bitching, DURING a date, about how bad women are" is bad behaviour
No, for the zilliionth time, she’s going after an entire group of THEIR own definition.
X group of y who exhibit N behaviour does NOT = all Y are bad.
At any rate, there are men, who exhibit this behaviour. Not just the one the OP went out with. Enough of them so that it’s an actual group. Self named, self proclaimed Nice Guys. Every woman in this thread, with the exception of you, has experienced at least one of the men from this particular group.
Also, saying that there IS such a group does NOT then = and it’s a huge group, MOST men fit into it, they’re all OVER, there’s one around every corner. In fact, “that” guy is probably one.
You’re not arguing the OP, you’re arguing some imaginary slight against men. There are groups of people who exhibit bad behaviour. Gangs for instance. Gangs exist, they ARE evil. To complain about their existance does not then equal “all young adolescents are bad”.
I honestly cannot wrap my mind around why a person who seems to be reasonably intelligent can’t grasp this simple fact.
Quote:shoes
Hmmm, your true colors as a 14 year old male adolescent come shining through.
Well, the desperation with which you fanatically defend any imagined slight to any male, suggests such to observers of your posts.
Quote:shoes
But, since you’re having trouble understanding it, I’ll explain it a little more slowly.
Yes, I’m bigoted against mean people, into which category the men who do the whole “women are all bad, they only date assholes” rant at anyone daring to turn them down for a date, fall.
Quote:shoes
God, I thought you were just a little stubborn and misguided, but it turns out you’re really a slavering Idiot.
Oh, yet another clever attempt at misdirection. This isnt’ about men vs. women. In a pit thread where men were pitting Golddiggers I would consider you JUST as stupid for defending all women when it was obvious that the subject matter was a specific subset that was exhibiting a particularly bad trait.
Quote:shoes
No one, in this thread, however maniacal the women you know IRL, has said anything about “men”. We have been pitting a behaviour of a specific type of guy.
bangs head on desk* I didn’t amend any definition. Once again, along with many other women in this thread, I am SAD that that phrase has been appropriated as it has. And once again, (this has been explained to you NUMEROUS times here), it is the MEN, who exhibit this behaviour THEMSELVES who proclaim thenselves nice guys. Hence our saying that they are Self Proclaimed Nice Guys, so as to set them apart from men who ARE genuinely nice.
Quote:shoes
(I’m leaning toward a combination of 1 and 3).
Actually, it was 2 that was about your need for a man. You still exhibit adolescent male attitudes and bonkers behaviour. And this is due to the fact that rather than arguing what people have actually said, you argue some imaginary insults in your own mind and then bring them to the thread.
OP: X group of Y is bad because they Z.
Cat: YOU HATE X, You’re so predijuced against all X, X hates you too, becaues you shit on them, no wonder you can’t get an X/have the wrong parameters set to get an X/have X treat you badly in return etc. It’s because X has been shit upon by YOU…
Group at large: um no cat, we’re talking about only X who Y, and SAY that they Y.
Cat: WEll it’s YOUR fault they Y, if you weren’t so mean to them they wouldn’t have to Y
Ad nauseum.
Quote:shoes
But, at least you’re interesting, so you’ve got that going for you.
Suuuure I am. Keep comforting yourself with that myth. Yes, that’s right cat (stare deeply into my eyes now), any woman who DARES suggest that some men might not be perfect angels are all…what was it?..Oh yes, thickheaded feminists bigots. Especially silly when you consider that not only have I not said anything about men being inferior, etc, neither has any other woman in this thread.
No you weren’t. You said, “Think of all the old geezers or non-hot guys who have no problem getting the chicks”, and that’s what I responded to.
I’m sorry, did I say that Roseanne’s ex-husbands were “hot”? I don’t believe I did.
Did I say he was? But how about Whoopi Goldberg and Ted Danson, then? He’s a sex-symbol. She is not unattractive, but certainly not a sex-symbol.
I don’t believe I said it that way. I said men are judged by different criterea.
Because age is not a criterea that is applied equally to men and women.
Let’s try this: How many men under 5’5" are leading men? None that I can think of. How many women under 5’5" are leading ladies? Lots.
Again, that’s not as important a criterea for men. Men’s magazines are about being aggressive, making money, and being physically strong. And the role-models portrayed in these magazines are almost all tall, dominant-type, aggressive men.
Lots of them. Are you kidding? “Hair Club for Men”, Propecia, Rogaine, exercise equipment. And don’t even get me started on the penis enlargement ads.
You’re missing the point. Age is not the most important criterea for women when selecting a mate. Height is more important to them. The two most notable “exceptions” Micheal J. Fox and Tom Cruise, aren’t really that short; only compared to the above-average height of most other leading men. And both started out as adolescent stars, where they played characters that weren’t necessarily fully-grown men. Only their way above-average looks made them acceptable in leading roles, despite their somewhat below-average stature. Dustin Hoffman never really got to play “leading man” roles because he’s too short. Neither David Spade nor Rob Schneider will probably ever get a non-farcical leading role. But there is no such restriction for women. Women leads run the gamut from very tall to very petite.
Yeah, life’s just so unfair, isn’t it? :rolleyes:
I’ve got to comment on this. An engagement ring comes with a proposal. An engagement ring says “I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Marry me.”
Luggage, usually, does not.
If the girlfriend was expecting ruby earrings (“I was thinking about you and got something nice, and I’m romantic”) and got luggage (“I was thinking about you and got something nice, and I’m practical”) and bitched, that would be one thing. But if she was expecting her long term boyfriend to ask her to share their lives together and got luggage, I can understand her disappointment. (Unless it was engagement luggage - with a letter inside saying “Be my wife.” But I didn’t get the feeling that the luggage came with such a note.)
Quote:
yosemite said:
A person has a few experiences, they talk to someone else who has their own experiences. They then say, “OMG! I know this type of guy!” And so forth and so on. People start to recognize a “type.” God Forbid people recognize a “type” and talk about it.
No, it’s not. Bigotry is when people are against a class or group of people based on such criteria as their skin color, sexual orientation, religion (or lack thereof), sex etc.
Categorizing a group of assholes, whatever their sex, is not bigotry.
A group of men exhibit the behaviour in the OP. That of being an asshole. Being an asshole isn’t being a member of a protected class.
Again with the Golddigger example. They exist, and it’s a cheapass, lazy bitchy way to live. There IS a group of women who exhibit this behaviour. It’s not a trait, not a physical attribute, not a religious choice (okay, some would argue that :D), not something they have no control over.
It’s NOT bigoted to Pit a Golddigger, they are a recognized subset of women.
By the same token, it’s not bigoted to pit, or be against a Self-Proclaimed Nice Guy, except for by you, they are a recognized subset of men.
I’m sure that SPNLesbians exist too, but this thread isn’t pitting THEM. It by women who date men, about a certain type of men out there in dating land (there’s also Super Nice Guy who you really, really like but have no chemistry with, Super Nice Guy you totally love, but he only likes you as a friend back, and so on).
How is it that you have made it to the ripe old age of 26 without having run across enough types of people not to recognize one when you see one enough to recognize say “blowhard braggart” for an example when you see one???
Do you live in a mink-lined vault, never ever having contact with many people out in the day to day world?
Your views of absolute black and white just stun me. I’m sorry I said you were stupid, but your insistance on refusing to understand what people are saying is just amazingly perplexing.
Disagreement we can understand. Aeschines was disagreeing with us, as were some others. The difference IS, they were disagreeing with things we’d actually SAID. Not with their own personal through the filter of “everyone’s a feminazi” filter imaginations of what others said.
He also provided cites for his opinions and beliefs, something you refuse to do.
You claim women in this thread are dissing men for “not being good enough” for them. But when asked for cites of where any of us said any such thing, you can’t, or won’t provide them.
This is similar to every other thread in which you’ve unnecessarily rushed to the defense of men. You’re all about the accusations of extreme feminism, but no proof.
You’re not paying attention. I went on to say old geezers who get young hot chicks.
And I’m talking about physical appearance here, not other factors, like riches.
I’m sorry, did I say that old fat chicks can’t get men? No, I don’t believe I did. I said that old fat chicks have trouble getting young hot men. Even rich fat old chicks. Some do get hot young men (like I said, that’s why the term “gigilo” was invented) but I don’t think the numbers are as high.
He’s also not young. And while it’s true that you can name a few older not-beautiful women who bag hot young guys, you will find many more older guys/hot young women (Harrison Ford/Clalista Flockhart and Angelina Jolie/Billy Bob come immediately to mind. I could list many more if I put my mind to it.)
Sheesh, why are you wasting my time with this? I already conceded a long time ago that shorter men have a harder time of it than shorter women.
Tall is an appearance, but aggressive, making money and being dominant are not phsyical attributes. I’m talking about physical appearance here. Visual. Physical. Not how much money a person makes.
And you think these outnumber (or even equal) the ones directed at women? Are you kidding?
And with men, age and thinness is important, but height isn’t. So? An overweight, not terribly young man can still bag a hot chick as long as he’s not too short. Compare that to a tall or short woman. She might bag a hot guy—but she’d better not be not-terribly-young or overweight.
All I’m saying is that women are held to a stricter standard when it comes to physical appearance. You want to seriously claim that they aren’t? Fine, but a lot of us are never going to buy it, because we live in the real world.
You know, you’re right. Next time I see someone doing that, I’ll roundly condemn them.
–p
Again, this isn’t my definition. As CanvasShoes and yosemite have both noticed, this is how they define themselves. A guy won’t go into this category unless he puts himself there by referring to himself as a Nice Guy by saying something like "women only date assholes.
I don’t think I made it clear in the OP, but my “confidence is sexy” comment was in direct response to “Trevor’s” solicitation for advice on women (during a date with me!). That was the nicest thing I could think of to say without lying.
catsix, do you have no filters for deciding with whom you associate? I try to avoid generalizations, but everybody has preferences for who they spend time with. Its either that or go nuts- from boredom if not annoyance.
Some people are even toxic. Do they have the unquestioned right to my time, just because they want it and feel victimized by someone who looked like me?
Is denying someone you time automatically “crapping all over them”?
And FYI, I’ve had three SPNG[sup]tm[/sup] interested in me (that I know of) and been friends with several more who had their sights on some other vict- uhh, woman.