This thread makes me realize how totally naive and clueless I was way back when. Honest-to-goodness, I never noticed nor heard discussions of the issue. Where was I during my junior high years??
Apparently someplace with only decorous penises. 
Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day! Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day!
The really sad thing is that somewhere in this world there is someone for whom the mental picture of Margaret Thatcher on a cold day will actually GIVE them an “embiggenment”…
Like I said in post #2: if you’ve got it, flaunt it.
You *did *have her undivided attention. With a little retconning you can adjust your memory of the event until she looks intrigued / fascinated rather than disgusted / appalled.
It took me twenty years of hearing that song to register what “with points all her own, sitting way up high, way up firm and high” referred to. :smack:
I just tuck it in the top of my sock and go about my day.
Makes me suspect the experience is much more obvious to the embiggee than it is to the audience nearby. Or maybe you were nearsighted?
A tumescent spirit embiggens the smallest wang.
How did I manage to get through school in the tight pants 70’s and never notice any of the boys having this problem?
For you or the priest?
Too much trouble. I just tie mine into a couple of knots.
But for a teenager, I don’t think there is a sure fire remedy. At that age your wang gets harder than Chinese Arithmetic. (As Richard Pryor so eloquently phrased it.)
You win the thread. Bravo, sir. Well played.
They just weren’t that into you?
(Sorry. I’m sure they were.)
Most likely the case. Although some years afterwards one particular lady fessed up that indeed she had been discreetly observing and making mental notes.
Of course, later in life, in venues of adult libation and musical entertainment featuring therpsichorean activities around vertical stanchions while the audience displays monetary precipitation, an ecdysiast may scan the room and if she observes a gentleman being this responsive, she may introduce herself in a very businesslike manner with a firm hearty handshake directly to the embiggenation. But that’s just salesmanship.
But if such amorous accord accelerates onward to the advancement of strumpetious coition invoking potentialities for pecuniary profits, the gendarmes of the constabulary corps may carry one into a case of incarcerative incapacities leading to enrollment and repetitive subscription onto the shameful scroll of erotogenic malefactors.
Which is when you step up to Janet Reno. Nuke the problem from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.
amorous accord = sexual compatibility
strumpetious = of or involving prostitutes or prostitution
potentialities = possibilities
pecuniary = of or involving money
gendarmes = cops
constabulary corps = police force (literally, body)
incarcerative incapacities = being unable to do certain things because you are in jail
repetitive subscription = recurring reregistration
scroll of erotogenic malefactors = sex offender registry
Wow. Just to see if there was a glory day, I did an image search… nope.