Inspired by jarbabyj's "sensible christian" post

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I felt that this may be the time and place to share this.

In 1986 I met a beautiful girl named Kristen. (I was barely 15 years old and the old hormones were really flowing…quite the smitten teen, I was)We went to different schools and I guess he was my girlfriend, which meant that my father would drop me off at her house at 7pm where I would sit with her and her parents. Her parents would go to bed at 9:30pm leaving me a torturous 15 minutes before my father picked my up at 9:45. During these 15 minutes I would try to work up the nerve to kiss her, and this usually culminated in a hard-lipped peck at the door as my father honked the horn.

We broke up but remained friends. We spoke about once a year while we were both away at college and with less frequency as we both started living our lives.

My life was one of hard living…drinking…out all night…more than recreational drug use…morally adrift. I was what I think my grandfather would call “too smart by half” and thought I knew how the world worked. I was sure I had Christianity figured out and it was a crock…

She majored in piano performance and music education and was the director of music and youth for her church, which was a rather large and well respected church in our mid-sized city.

One day she called me after a silence of almost 5 years. My how the time slipped away! Hey- whaddaya know! We were both single for once! We chatted a bit and she asked me if I was a member of a church. I gave her what I thought was a very persuasive treatise on the evils of organized reliogion and the council of Trent and how religion is truly the opiate of the masses. Pretty heady stuff I thought.

Then she told me her story…

She became very ill and had to have one of her ovaries removed and her opposite fallopian tube was wrecked by infection. The doctor’s told her she could never have children. This was devastiting to her.

She had a relationship with a man in her church and they were doing what even God fearing Christian’s do…“it”. You know what I’m saying…:slight_smile: No need for protection. She never had a successful ovulation, much less a period. She still had to go to the OB/GYN for the yearly check up and imagine her suprise when the doctor found a tumor about the size of a grapefruit. Upon further examination they determined that the tumor…had a heartbeat. It was in fact a baby at approximately 7 months term. And it was of the mind to be removed. That day. Coming out. Make way.

So imagine her suprise and dismay at going in for an annual exam and being told you had to stay until you have delivered a baby. No time to plan. No time to prepare. The man did what you may have expected…“How do I know she is mine?” This was the beginning of his squirming and shirking and his successful avoidance of responsibility. He is no child. He is in his mid 30s.

Kristen was devastated. She resigned her position at the church and stopped going. People were very concerned and visited her, and were prepared to give her her space and time to adjust to her new life and role as mother. But they wanted her back in church. They loved her. But she was ashamed. Here was a person who was supposed to be leading the youth and she has acted with sexual impropriety and iresponsibility. She could never face them again.

Finally after weeks of coaxing she came to church. At the end of the sermon the pastor asked Kristen to come up with little baby Anna. Anna was 4 weeks old. Reluctantly she came forward. She was not expecting this.

The pastor said (paraphrasing here) " Kristen has committed a sin. But the only difference between her sin and your own is that hers is visible…here before us all to see. Kristen is also ashamed and is unsure of our love for her. If you love Kristen, please stand. If you do not hold her mistakes against her and want her and Anna to be part of your church family, please rise now."

Over 400 people stood as one. They had also collected a love offering for her. They handed her a check for over $12,000 to help with medical bills and baby things and so that she had money while she looked for another job.

How pathetic my own hollow rant seemed after that. How self serving and unlearned. I was truly humbled.

I just wanted to share a story of a Christian church living its mission and not being judgemental or damning as is the stereotype.

The story goes on if anyone would like to hear how it ends (or continues) but for now I have to go home!

2

This story had better end up with you as the step-father of the child, or I’m gonna bust some heads.

3

Come on…Come on…you should be home by now!!

LOL

Yes, I want to hear the rest of the story!!

:slight_smile: Polly

4

Uh, we all sin, but we don’t all do that particular one. Just thought I’d point that out. Oh, and yes, don’t leave us hanging with “the story goes on.”

5

So where is the joke on “sensible kristen”? :slight_smile:

6

Well, that’s a fine story, except for the part where the pastor describes the child as a “visible sin” “here before us all to see.” Kee-hrist, why not call the kid a bastard and get it over with.

I don’t care how much money the congregation shelled out, that’s still a lousy thing to call a kid.

“Class, I’d like you to welcome Tommy to Sunday School class. You all remember Tommy, he’s the ‘Visible Sin.’”

7

Jeez…glurge on his 14th post.

8

You might give the church the benefit of the doubt. It sounds as if they are capable of distinguishing between a woman’s pregnant condition - the visibility of her sin - and the person her child turns out to be.

9

Yeah, but it also raises the question: if all life is God-Given, was God working through sin?

10

Hey JonScribe, the “visible sin” was that she was obviously having sex out of wedlock, which has a bit more of a stigma when you are the youth minister. The child is not the “sin” and you are actually the first to insinuate that she was. Sorry I was not more clear on that point.

Dale the Bold…Part of the point of this story, and I know I am not the best writer and probably am not getting the point across, is that the church was not judgemental of what she had done. I should not have insinuated that all Christians commit the same sins, and was actually trying to say that we all “sin”…not necesarily in the same way. My mistake.

The point of the church " shelling out" money is that rather than being condemning as the church is often seen to be, they were embracing and loving. They knew that apart from spiritual and emotional support this single new mother was in need of financial support to get her through this dark time. They stepped up and helped in every way possible.

So to continue…Kristen’s mom had been suffering with emphezema (sp?) for 11 years. In the past year things had grown decidedly worse. She was completely bed (actually sofa) ridden and even speaking was an effort. Kristen moved into her parents’ home to care for her mother as she was dieing. There was a constant stream of people through the house sitting with her mom and bringing lunches and dinners and lending general support. Because Kristen was still the organist and pianist for the church, most of her close friends were musicians or in the choir, and it was these people who we saw most frequently. On June 11 of 2001 Kristen came in and her mom asked to have her hair combed. Kristen got a hairbrush and was brushing her mom’s hair and talking to her. Her mom’s eyes were closed most of the time so that was not suprising, but her breathing stopped completely and she died while Kristen was brushing her hair.

The support from the church was incredible. I mean unbelievable. Again, the circle Kristen was most involved with were the musicians.

The next Sunday was communion. After the bread and the wine (grape juice, lest we be tempted:)) the entire church holds hands and sing “Blessed be the Tie”. The lyrics are “Blessed be the tie that binds our hearts in Christian love. The fellowship of kindred hearts is like to that above”. As I am holding hands I am facing the choir, who has been so supportive, and thinking “Christian love IS the reason they have been there for Kristen and her family”. It was a good feeling.

Abe Babe, good news. Kristen and I were married November 10. Just over 2 weeks ago. So I am Anna’s step dad. Tommy, Anna’s dad called me Saturday and asked if I would come over to his house to talk about adopting Anna. I did and we are beginning adoption procedings next week. Soon the “step” will be removed from step-dad.

Mundane? Pointless? Maybe. I just wanted to echo jarbabyj’s assertion that he/she is involved in a church that walks the walk and goes against the stereotype of a rigid, unthinking mass who is oppressive and judgemental. My life has truly been changed forever because of Kristen’s involvement in her church, and in a fantastic way.

And what is “glurge”?

11

newcrasher, nice story and congratulations on your new family. It’s nice to get real life happy endings.

Ignore the “glurge” comment, it doesn’t seem appropriate here.

12

Congrats! I am glad this has had such a happy ending for you all.

13

Oh, for Heaven’s sake, you’ve got me all teary-eyed. {sniffle}

14

As far as I know, glurge is an inspirational (it may or may not be true, often it is not)story preach ( in not neccesarily a nice way)uplifting moral lessons. Like a parable, only more hypocritical. Usuually, they’re supposed to distort the facts ( if indeed, there are any) to get their message across. You can get more info abou them at snopes.com

That said, nice story. It’s nice to think there a sweet people out there, and a baby has a good daddy now.

15

Given that I agree the comment was probably unjust, but just so you know, a definition and examples of glurge can be found here. Mazeltov, congratulations, and good luck with your new family!

16

<sniff> a little misty eyed here too <sniff>

Newcrasher, with Kristen and you as parents, that luck Anna is gonna have a lot of love. Congrats and best wishes.