Can I just hijack to say that I love multiplewords? I wish it were as easy for Englishwriters to make up words like that without getting the runaround (okay, nevermind that last example 
)
I wish it were. It’s bloody gospel truth. Why do I always date guys who have such dodgy exes?
What was she cooking for breakfast? It wasn’t boiled bunny, was it?
I haven’t. I’ll bet they’re cute.
I don’t think it sounds like fiction at all. As I said, it sounds like someone has an immature ex who lost her shit a littl bit.
On behalf of House Slant, I gotta’ say, if a woman wants to have a relationship with me that centers around cooking me breakfast, that ain’t a bad thing.
Given that Mrs. Slant doesn’t even wake up in time for breakfast, I suppose she wouldn’t be jealous…
If she wants to cook both of us breakfast, then yeah, she should come on over. Otherwise, no thanks.
I read this as something she’d say out of frustration but didn’t expect him to take her literally. She was venting, and wanted a response like the “it’s going to be okay, let me give you a hug, tell me what’s wrong, let’s talk about it” speech, but instead got the “Don’t let the door hit you in the ass” speech.
So she says. I mean, this is the only evidence we have that there’s another man: because she said so.
If there is another man, she doesn’t seem to be too concerned with what he wants; she’s going to see her ex against his wishes. She could feel guilty about betraying her boyfriend’s wishes. That might explain the emotional scene. In any case, she obviously cares enough about her ex to disregard her fiance’s feelings; one wonders how committed she was to him, or whether she had fully detatched from her ex. Logically, she might have known she should have wanted Sensitive Man, but emotionally, she was more committed to Manly Man.
If there isn’t another man, she could have been making a play. She had made up the “other man” in attempt to make him jealous, and gave him all the qualities she wanted her ex to show, hoping to clue him in to what she really wanted.
I can’t see how she didn’t have an agenda. The question in my mind would be, “Did she go to the grocery store to buy eggs and bacon and breakfast food for this purpose?” because that would seem much more premeditated than just showing up one morning and cooking whatever happened to be in the cupboard. (I guarantee you, you wouldn’t find breakfast food in this bachelor’s pantry.)
It’s a statistical probability. My ex-girlfriend alone has put a significant percentage of us guys into the category of Guys Who Have Such Dodgy Exes.
No, her fiance really exists. She lives with him, and my BF has seen him. She moved in with him 2 months after she moved out. It was really, really quick. I think she was worried about him thinking she found the new guy while she was still with him, due to the alacrity of her transition. My theory is that she didn’t want to be living with her mother and found a way out tout suite, knew it looked bad, and wanted to break it to my BF gently. The idea that he gave a damn was more a product of her anxiety than his concerns.
She doesn’t see my BF anymore, not since The Breakfast Incident. I don’t think that’s why she was crying. I think she was, as some posters have suggested, feeling bad about her rapid transfer of affection.
I think you’re right that part of her wants the nice guy but she misses the studly he-man that is my BF. She told him he wasn’t compassionate enough, she needed a guy who cared about her feelings. Maybe she was giving him the opportunity to show that he really WAS sensitive, a last shot at it? If so, he failed the test. She must have known that he would. Emotional outbursts are not his forte and “there, there, it’s OK” isn’t his style. Besides, even I, who am emotional, wouldn’t want to be comforting my ex about being engaged to someonee else. Who the hell would?
Me neither. I’m not sure anymore that her agenda was getting him back. She may have wanted him to reassure her that her moving on was OK, that she hadn’t screwed him over and he wasn’t angry at her for being with someone else already. Maybe she was projecting-- he said she was really a jealous person and if the shoe were on the other foot and he was engaged 2 months after their breeakup, she definitely would have been angry.
She made eggs and toast, which he tends to have in stock. You’re right, it would have been a magnitude more weird if she’d brought food. I still think it’s odd that she came over in the morning like that. But I think she’s a bit of a nut anyway.
My take on all this is that she’s not feeling bad about the speed of the new relationship, but the sex is not as good with the new guy. She knows the new guy is a better guy all around, and a better future husband, but he doesn’t rock her world the way your guy did. So she comes over, hoping he’ll be so upset at losing her for good that he will toss her on the bed and make love to her one last time (or possibly ask her to come back) and she will either have the satisfaction of one last time, or the satisfaction of breaking his heart by sticking with the new guy. She’s nervous about all this, and feeling guilty for wanting to cheat on new guy, hence the tears. But she’s also too shy to say, “Do me baby, one last time.” When your guy reacts with polite indifference, she realizes it’s a lost cause and accepts her new reality.
Huh. I wonder how you’re figuring this. He said once they broke up and she moved out, he never felt like she wanted him back, and it felt like it was mutually over. That’s why he doubted that she was making a come-on when she showed up for breakfast. He felt like she was just worried that he would hate her or be angry for her rebounding so fast.
Her loss is certainly my gain. 
I do think this is a little far-fetched.
Why is it far-fetched? I re-read your OP, and you said she was not very happy about the break-up. You also said he was done with the relationship long before they actually moved apart, so he had already emotionally detached. And you also said she said she’s found someone sensitive and nice, which implies that he was not very tuned in to her feelings. If she’s not particularly aggressive about stating what she needs and wants in a relationship, it seems entirely possible that he would not get the signals that she would be open to getting him back. Her coming around wanting to be “friends” is certainly a signal of some kind! I think it’s far more far-fetched that she would think he would be angry or hurt about her moving on so quickly on the rebound, since it didn’t sound like he was ever the one to seek her out…she always came to him. It would have been fairly obvious to her that he didn’t mind her getting on with her life…unless he had tried to warn her about “too fast, too soon”. And it doesn’t sound like he did.
So I stand by my interpretation!
She’s definitly trying to provoke a reaction out of this guy. Either “haha look what ive got, ive moved on with my life” or “wont you please say something romantic and give me a reason to get back with you”. Otherwise, I think this is pretty inconsiderate and mean on her part, as she shouldn’t be telling (showing off?) every new date/prospect she has to her old boyfriend. He may be happy to know that she is getting on with her life, but he doesn’t need to hear every relationship update from her right away. If it were me, I’d prefer hearing this sort of news a few months later, preferably with a buffer of 1000 km or so. She should realize that he may still need time to get over this break up, and that discussing future boyfriends/husbands with him may only upset him.
By the way, “Agenda” does have a negative connotation, maybe that influenced my response in some way.
As for her not being happy about the break-up… I think he was more done than she was. I also think she didn’t want to move back in with her mother. He was supporting her financially until he lost his job, and then he was home all the time. The fighting, apparently, was out of hand. They were getting to the point when they hated each other. Maybe, once she moved out, she remembered why she used to like him. Too late by then…
At this point, they were in touch. She’d come over to hang out with him every couple of weeks, trying to be friends. He was OK with this, not necessarily encouraging her or anything. He doesn’t like to stay friends with his exes, but isn’t mean either.
It wouldn’t upset him. If it upset him, he wouldn’t have broken up with her. Like I said, I think she felt guilt and was worried what he’d think. She thought he’d be angry and wonder if she’d cheated. Turned out he didn’t give a crap.
I meant it to have the connotation, “a plan or motivation not openly stated.” She did, but I don’t think it was to fuck him or anything. This thread has convinced me of that.
This is what I thought at first. I really did, because he is truly clueless and probably would not realize if she was coming on to him. That’s why I titled the thread “what is her agenda?”
Maybe she really did want to be friends? I mean, he is an extraordinarily cool, fun person. I suspect that, once she wasn’t living with him and got some perspective on him, she remembered that he is a great person to hang out with and missed that. You can miss parts of someone you used to love without wanting to get them back romantically.
Apparently, she specifically stated that she didn’t want him to think she had another guy lined up before she left him, and felt bad that he might feel betrayed by her engagement. I know that, when my relationship of 4 years broke up, and my ex was living with someone else two months later, I was bitter about it. Not because he cheated, and not because I still wanted him. Believe me. More like, “What a dick, he really is fickle, isn’t he?”
Would she give up that easily? We haven’t had another incident. She doesn’t come over anymore. It seems that her engagement ended the friendship. I don’t know…