I am in my dorm for the first time today. I live in a single room near the stairwell on the highest floor of a ridiculously tall residence hall.
It’s nothing like I imagined it would be.
Everything I read online said things like keep your door open to let people in, hang out in the common areas, and don’t be afraid to go into an open door!
Firstly, the doors can not be reasonably propped open. They are extremely heavy. Nobody even comes here anyway. Nobody wants to walk up 10+ flights of stairs when they can take the elevator. And nobody is in the common area. Indeed, I have only seen a few people walking to the bathroom in my hall in the 12+ hours I have been here. Otherwise, I haven’t seen anyone outside their room.
I know the isolation I’m feeling is partly my fault. I put a single room down as my third choice and managed to get one. Plus, obviously transferring in the spring wasn’t the best choice if I wanted to meet people, because most people already have a group of friends. I guess it’s just strange because I’ve never felt lonely before in my life. As long as I can talk to my mom once a day or so and perhaps text an old friend, I’m fine. So I didn’t expect it would be a problem.
I don’t know. I’ve never been good at making friends. I am not socially anxious. I just have trouble connecting with people, I guess. I actually can’t understand it, though. I don’t know why other people find it so easy. I’ve never really had the intense desire for a good friend until now, as I said above.
I just figured once I transferred to university, maybe things would be different. I am now beginning to see that a lot of that was based on a fantasy I had in my head of how it would be. It is ridiculous and melodramatic to say so at 19, but I feel like I might be alone for the rest of my life.
Anyway. Thank you for reading if you have. Maybe I will feel better when classes start.
Advice is welcome but not really why I posted this. I guess I’m more interested in just expressing how I feel at this time.