No, a wheelchair is not a turn-off, but I doubt I’d be anything more than a 3. I’m not desperate tough, to be clear. My last SO of ten years was at least an 8. 
It would be a bonus if they were unable or uninterested in sex.
Mmkay thanks.
Look I’m posting from my phone and I may not have always posted in the most clarifying light. THE ONLY POINT to my “9s and 10s” comment was to put the difficult dating experiences of those in wheelchairs in clear focus. To that section of the dating world, we are by and large invisible and not even on the radar-regardless of how “good looking” we are or any other characteristic (physical or otherwise, like personality). Now that’s not to say that other, non “9-10” women don’t behave the same way in relation to men in wheelchairs; its just not as “across the board”. I will date anyone I am attracted to, I have no pre-conceived notions of what I “ought” to have.
Keep reading then.
Ah, more timeless, classic Ambivalid.
When you don’t get the answers you are hoping for, (in any thread you have ever participated in, be it your Parking-Lot Paladin routine or back when you were trying to hit on the late, great umkay) this has been your default attitude, every bit as predictable as the rooster at dawn.
“You ain’t gonna learn what you don’t wanna know.”
Did you happen to read what I was responding to? She is not simply giving an “opinion that I’m not hoping for” (whatever that means), she is having a discussion that I am NOT having.
It means that since you joined the SDMB, you have steadfastly refused to even consider the possibility that you and your combative, judgmental attitude are at the root of 95% of the “problems” (relationship and otherwise) that you constantly regale the Dopers with, in a transparent attempt to garner sympathy and/or to reassure yourself that you are right and everyone else in this wicked ol’ world is wrong and probably out to get you to boot.
Broheim. Fully 80% of the world’s population is gonna have to settle for something less than a 9 or 10. Why do you think your situation is particularly deserving of sympathy?
I’m like a 6 or 7 - like Rushgeekgirl, not desperate. Objectively my husband is maybe an 8 or 9 and comes from a long line of beautiful olive-skinned Italian people. I still don’t know how the hell that happened.
I really could give a shit less if a guy is in a wheelchair. Really, I don’t care. A hot dude is a hot dude. My definition of ‘‘hot’’ varies wildly based on the personality of the guy I’m into. I’m probably not the kind of girl whose opinion is going to be helpful, though, because I give even less of a shit about a man’s ‘‘objective’’ attractiveness than I do about whether or not he’s in a wheelchair. I’ve been with the same man since I was 19, though, so take it with a grain of salt.
I am also curious why, if you consider yourself a 7, you think your invisibility to 9s and 10s is due to your disability and not your appearance.
Finally, I guess I should add that I don’t think you are a terrible person or that the things that you want for yourself are forever out of your reach, it’s just that you don’t seem to be willing to take ANY advise, counsel or criticism (constructive or otherwise) that is offered your way with even the slightest amount of acceptance or possible introspection, instead treating both the message and messenger as mortal enemies.
In this thread, you clearly established parameters that made you sound shallow, judgmental and juvenile, and when this was pointed out to you, you again simply shut down and refused to even consider that you were the one off-base.
(Fingers in ears, La la la la la, la la la la!)
Extremely well said! Truer words never spoken.
Not until you do something about those dreadful tyres; cross-plys went out with the Ark, darling.
Ok, you are theorizing that really hawt women ignore you because of your wheelchair, no matter what you do. Welcome to the big ole world, homey. Lots of people don’t get the hottest wimmens, and they survive. A wheelchair, and the disability that landed you in one, hurts your chances in the marriage market, just like being poor, or a minority, or a million other things.
There are hot but insecure women in the world who might appreciate the attention they’d receive because they are strolling alongside Murderball. So if you don’t mind The Crazy, Jaimes… they’re out there just waiting for the drama to roll upon them. Chat 'em up.
Well if I made it seem like I was “setting out parameters” for myself in my OP, I was doing a bad job of trying to say what i was intenting to say. I have no superficial, set in stone parameters when it comes to dating, trust me. If I could go back and take out the “9s and 10s” part of my OP in exchange for a more well-thought out bit, I’d do it.
No, this is not what I’m saying. But I appreciate your empathy.:rolleyes: what I am saying is that my wheelchair makes it difficult to be visible to women that I am attracted to. And its not me that this is exclusive to, its pretty much any single person in a wheelchair period (I know many). I don’t let this stop me from getting out there and trying, though; it just makes my rejection-to-success/ratio that much higher.
And let me clarify, before people jump all over me; when I say that I tend to be invisible to the women that I am attracted to, that is not to say that I am only attracted to “9s and 10s”. Again, those are the ones, categorically speaking, that will ALWAYS ignore me. But many other women to whom I am attracted won’t even give me a second look (or that first chance) simply because of thechair.
Where are you meeting these women, Jamie? Obviously I don’t really know, but it seems like there would be a fair number that would still be interested.
Well I don’t know about “fair number”, but its certainly not zero.