Just wondering. Heterosexual males often (not always) have to do a fair amount of wining, dining, listening and assorted other machinations to convince a female they are worthy to mate with.
I was wondering though, given men’s (gay and non-gay) somewhat more direct attitude towards sex as a physical connection (vs emotional connection) goal, can gay guys be assured of getting some action anytime they want to go after it socially or do prospective partners make you jump through the same hoops as women being courted?
I don’t know about that…there are at least a couple of gay guys on the boards who have never had sex. And there’s a whole bunch that aren’t slutting around, either. I would also think they would have to date much the same as hets do if they want to find a loving, committed relationship (which most do). Doing dinner, theater, movies…just like everyone else.
I have a friend—who shall go nameless here—who is a 41-year-old gay virgin. He’s a dear heart, but not terribly good-looking, and rather shy. Also, he does not want one-night stands, he’d like a “boyfriend.”
Nothing guarantees getting action. That said, I think it is pretty easy to get laid whenever I want to assuming that is what I want. It is also pretty easy to get a continuing romance going if that is what I am looking for at the time. I personally like to have repeat sexual encounters unlike one of my friends (who is particularly gross looking…it is hard to explain, just take my word for it) who has sex with at least one new person every 2 or 3 days and doesn’t do repeats. The friends I have in the leather community call people like him “collectors.”
Many gay men don’t to go at it 24/7, and many non-promiscuous gay men prefer the courtship rituals of dating and are monogamous.
But if I read the OP correctly, the question isn’t do gay men get more action, but can gay men get more action than straight men. The answer is, clearly, yes. If I chose to do so, I could go out and get laid any time I please. I don’t because my bf and I are monogamous.
A lot of straight guys just assume it is easier for gay guys to have sex when they want - they assume all gay men lust for all other gay men.
WRONG.
He’s too short, too fat, too old, too thin, too tall, too loud, too hairy, too too too too…the list goes on. Granted, this sometimes changes 15 minutes before last call, but for the most part, gay men are at least as picky, if not much more so, when selecting partners.
I am sure hetero guys could go out and get laid every night as well, but just like their gay counterparts, they might not want to be showing photos of their conguests to their buddies.
In my experience, ‘gay culture’ is sexualised to a degree that mixed/straight culture is not; I don’t think I’ve ever heard a gay man being refered to as ‘over-sexed’ as such a thing simply does not exist. I would say it does seem to be more acceptable amongst my gay acquaintances to have had multiple one-nighters than it is amongst my straight friends, and so the casual pick-up is much easier to find - there simply seems to be more of us happy for a quick emotionless boff out looking for it. I have gay friends who are nothing particularly outstanding when it comes to physical attractiveness who have had sex partners in the 1000’s, whereas straight, attractive male friends of mine seem to think they’re experienced if their partners linger around the 20-mark. Furthermore, having had sex partners in the 1000’s is neither a matter for pride or shame for them or their friends; it’s just accepted as being indicative of having an active libido and isn’t really discussed further than the trick’s shortcomings/adequacies. The majority of my gay friends will go out specifically to meet someone for sex, sometimes on a nightly basis; my straight friends go out for fun at the weekends and seem to consider it a bonus if they meet a potential sex partner.
If I wanted sex tonight, I know I could find it quickly, easily and with someone I found physically attractive - I have places available to me where I know there will be men waiting for a casual sex partner, and I also know I will not be judged within my peer group for indulging in a purely physical encounter. I’ve never had to jump through hoops as cruising often consists of little more than a few weighted looks and a nod in the direction of the door. Plus I’d have to disagee with DMark and say that, also in my experience, gay men tend to be one HELL of a lot less ‘picky’ than the single women I know.
Any gay man I know who goes someplace, meets someone, and “engages in a purely physical encounter” on more than maybe one rare occasion of desperation would be promptly called a slut or whore by me and lose a large amount of my respect.
However, it seems that I’m one of the few people that think like this. In most cases, you’re right and nobody really cares how much of a slut a gay guy is. It’s expected.
