One of my sister’s co-workers died a few days ago, a 60-ish mid-level manager. According to her he was one of the “old boys” among management.
Anyway, they are having a memorial at a local bar, and calling it his “Retirement Party”. The guy who organized this said to my suster,“he cheated us out of a nice retirement party with him there, so we’ll do it without him.” So they’ve sent out invitations to “John Doe’s Retirement Party”, including to his family members (his kids are all grown).
I think his co-workers getting together to hoist a few is a fine idea, but I can’t think of more inappropriate name to tag it with.
Surely a ‘Remembrance Evening’ would have been a better way to word it. Kinda depends how the invitation is worded though, if that’s nicely worded then I’ll let them get away with the crass title.
I wouldn’t be so quick to pass judgement unless you know what kind of a guy he was. For all we know, the family and friends think it is in perfect keeping with his personality & are laughing their asses off.
Speaking of the dead using euphemisms is pretty old hat. On the surface I don’t see a problem but the details could be important. I hope the organizer couched it in better terms than “he cheated us out of a party!” when inviting the family.
I was all “Not at all!” until you got to the inviting his family members part. That is probably in bad taste, especially with the “Retirement Party” part. Personally, I’d have gone with the “Remembrance Party” idea instead to be more sensitive.
That said, Labrador Deceiver also has the right of it too - how well did they know the guy’s family?
No idea. My sister did say she suggested the term “Irish Wake” as more appropriate, and the guy just just looked at her like she was nuts. Perhaps that would offend someone too, but we’re Irish and it doesn’t offend us.
But passing judgment is what we do around here, and the OP’s question “is this in bad taste” obviously means “is this in bad taste to us,” the people he’s asking. There’s always the off-chance that the family and friends will think whatever event we’re talking about is perfectly fine – the nude wedding, the bachelor party with not just stippers but hookers, the house warming where the new owner demands money to fix the house. That doesn’t mean the rest of us can’t have some small anonymous fun being horrified.
So, yes, I vote for “in bad taste.” The man is not “retiring,” he’s dead. He didn’t “cheat them out of a party,” he died. I have no problem with standing around getting soused while telling hilarious stories about the departed – that’s why God invented the Irish Wake, as Boyo Jim notes. But that’s still done in honor of the deceased, not in spite of them and their absence.
And, yes, I get (or assume) it’s supposed to be funny. But it isn’t very.
You cant remove context from the situation. It’s only in bad taste if the situation is inappropriate, and that can only be ascertained by knowing the relationship that these people have with the family in question.
Oh, sure I can. I am asked for my opinion, and given the information provided, I have one and can certainly give it.
“Inappropriate” according to whom? Some things are tacky, and the fact that every participant thinks they are A-okay doesn’t make them less so. I’ve already given three examples of social events that I personally consider in bad taste, and I don’t need to know the relationships of the participants in order to think so.
Some people think farting is a stone riot; that doesn’t make it tasteful, not even if the whole crew things it’s hilarious.
Am I being judgey? Of course. But a thread that asks “is this in bad taste?” is an invitation to be just that.
If I want to take a poll about whether or not it was inappropriate for me to give another person the finger, you wouldn’t be able to answer the question without knowing why I did so, and to whom. If I did that to my boss after he fired me, it would be inappropriate. If I did it in jest to my buddy after he teased me about a bad haircut, then it would not be inappropriate. What you think isn’t just irrelevant, it’s actually impossible for you to give a reasoned opinion.
Obvioulsy I might very well be able. And who are you to inform me that I would not be? For all you know, I think flipping someone the bird is never appropriate. For all you know, I think you have given me enough information in your OP to make that assessment.
It’s hardly worth an argument, but it’s just odd to find you responding to a solicitation of opinions, not merely by saying that YOU could not possibly say, but asserting that NO ONE could possibly say. He didn’t just ask for your opinion, Threadkiller, he asked for everyone’s. So you give yours (which is apparently that you don’t have enough information to say), and I’ll give mine, and it’s all good.