The chance of kids being exposed to sex per se isn’t really what’s bothering anybody. It’s more about dragging kids on a four hour drive and then leaving them alone in a strange house so mommy can fuck a stranger.
I don’t think anyone would be much concerned if she was doing it with their father or with an established SO already known and familiar to them.
This is a very strange argument.
Firstly the modern couple were not the parents, were not married and were not in the family home, but a strange place 4 hours away from home.
Secondly the kids from a couple of hundred years ago included Jack the Ripper etc.
Thirdly I haven’t done anything like this. Even if I had I would be ashamed and perfectly able to see this behaviour is wrong.
By my standards the scenario is WAYYYY fucked up. But that’s me. Hookers don’t even behave like that (at least not in the movies).
Ditto. There’s a gazillion couples having sex in rooms that adjoin the kiddie’s room even as we speak.
If I’d been this guy I’d wish that she hadn’t brought the kids. Once they got there and things developed, the kids settled in and assuming the bedroom door had a lock on it, why not?
I noted the same points in my previous post.
I don’t think that there is anything inherently wrong with a child seeing adults have sex. Even today, tribal peoples in other parts of the world don’t take privacy as seriously as we do and don’t think that children need to be sheltered from the facts of life. There I have seen no indications that these children do not grow up to be happy, well-adjusted people.
I would even go so far as to posit that it might be such a thing that our fierce notion that children must be strictly policed from having exposure to anything sexual might be more harmful than good, but that’s another thread.
What concerns me the most is that the mother felt that her behavior was wrong but did it anyway. It doesn’t bode well for her other parenting skills.
Would you think it was OK if your ex-wife dragged your kids on a first date with some guy she met on the internet in a different state and then fucked him on his waterbed while they were in the next room? I guess that’s the standard you have to hold yourself to-- if those were my kids, would that upset me?
I wouldn’t like it if those were my kids, because I wouldn’t know what kind of deal they were being dragged into.
But that ain’t the situation from my perspective. I’m the guy, remember? I know I’m not a nutter.
So this chick brings her kids and I wish she hadn’t, but done is done. Then things start to work out, the kiddies settle in for a nap, they are 8 and 10 years old, the door has a lock, so yeah, I’d hit it with no qualms at all.
This is the nation that lost its collective mind because Janet Jackson exposed a (strange-looking) breast on national television during the half-time show during the Superbowl (WHEN THERE WERE CHILDREN WATCHING :eek: :eek: :eek: ) , and you’re telling me that you think there’s nothing wrong with children seeing adults having sex? I realize that the posters saying that here are voicing their own opinions, not that of an entire country, but it still reeks of massive hypocrisy to me.
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The scene described in no way involves children watching adults having sex. The kids were watching a DVD or napping, depending. The boinkin’ was going on in another room, presumably behind a closed, locked door. I suggest that there are very few people that have attained a certain age that haven’t had sex in one room of a house with children in another room.
The OP’s question was if this was sleazy.
Was going to some guy’s house to meet him for the first time stupid and dangerous? Yes. Was bringing her kids along even more stupid? Certainly.
But that’s where it stops. Once everything seemed cool, there was nothing sleazy about having sex in one room of a house while children are in another room. If that were not acceptable, most of us wouldn’t have brothers or sisters.
I don’t think you can make a valid equivalence there. We’re talking about a one-bedroom apartment, on a first-time visit.
There’s a big difference between mommy and daddy fitting in a little action when the kids are tucked away somewhere, and mommy bringing the kids over to a stranger’s house and getting down to it on the other side of an apartment-style pressboard door. That’s not discreet at all, and probably made the kids feel very uneasy.
Exactly…the kids weren’t asleep, they were in the next room watching a video. I think the average 10-year-old today might have a pretty good idea of what their mom might have been up to, locked in another room with a guy.
I think there is a major, major difference between a kid figuring out that his parents are doing it, and figuring out that his mom is doing it with a perfect stranger.
At what time of day did the boinking take place? Because I’m not a fan of dragging kids to strange places and plunking them in front of the TV while the adults do their thing. Everything can’t be a family excursion, to be sure, but if it’s not a family excursion, leave the kids with a babysitter. If she can afford a new motorcycle for this guy, she can afford a babysitter.
I think the kids were sleeping. They put them to bed on the fold-out, put on a video to camouflage noise, and waited until they were asleep. Efforts apparently were made to prevent the kids from witnessing the sex in any way.
Would this story affect people differently if the kids were younger?
She’s in her mid-40s and divorced, which means she’s desperate. As for the kids, a lot of women will metaphorically throw their kids under the metaphorical bus so they don’t have to be alone.
Honestly, I really do not see the big deal with bringing your kids on an appropriate first date. If you are hitting up the zoo or the aquarium with your new man, bringing the kids is not crazy if you let him know first.
The only sketchy thing about this situation is dragging the kiddies around on a presumably boring trip and then ditching them to get some. Let’s be realistic though, parents all over the world have sex while there kids are “sleeping” one room away.
Guess that depends how horny I am, but if its been a while…you did say a movie was on right?
I’m right there with you.
It’s not like they were having sex in front of the kids. In fact, I’d guess the kids never knew. Even if they did know, what’s the big deal? Sex is natural and kids have to learn most adults do the humpty-dance in private when they like each other.
Yes, but the OP was not talking about a hypothetical case of two parents, or a long-term couple, having sex a room away from their kids. It was about a specific case of a parent having sex a room away from her kids the first day she met the guy she was having it with. After having brought the kids four hours out of town in the hopes that their presence would be a deterrent. It’s not about sex per se; it’s about this particular situation.
I’ve got to go along with the “it’s not the sex, it’s the sex in this particular situation” consensus.
I’ve had sex with my daughter in the house a million times. It would have been a reeeeeeeally long fifteen years if I hadn’t. Hell, at this point, I’ll say to her “Time to go to bed now, kid!” and not bother pretending that she doesn’t know what that means.
I don’t even care that she had sex with the guy, provided her kids were asleep (and I don’t think it’s been firmly established one way or the other). To me, it’s the dragging her kids on a four hour drive to a first date that’s borderline psychotic behavior.
Perhaps it’s harmless, but I don’t see the *point * of bringing your kids on dates, either. First of all, your kids don’t need a formal announcement every time mommy’s “thinking of hittin’ that”. Secondly, dates are for getting to know someone, and how are you supposed to get do that if your attention is so divided?
Silly rabbits, dates are for grownups!
Is this what people mean by “being on the rebound”? She sounds like she seriously needs to figure out how to relax. I’ve seen tanks that looked less agressive than she sounds.
This is exactly my take on it. Driving her kids four hours across a state line, to the small apartment of a total stranger that she has never met face-to-face, to bang the guy when her kids are old enough to know what’s going on…
That screams “chick with Issues!” to me. Hence, no way I’d hit it. Sex with the kids in the next room is no biggie, it’s the “wow, this chick is a little unhinged” thing that bugs me.
Buy the time I was 10 years old, it would have freaked me out if me mom dragged me out to a stranger’s place and disappeared with him behind a locked door, whether I knew there was sex going on or not. It’s still some strange dude to me and I would have been a bit worried about my mom’s safety. Even if I thought the guy seemed nice enough, I’d be wondering why the hell my mom brought me a long to a “grown up” date.