In lieu of St. Valentine - I thought I would strat a thread about those we love in our lives. In this instance those of you with a spouse or soon to be spouse; do you consider them your perfect mate?
I’ll go first.
In my humble opinion my spouse is the perfect mate. She is beautiful, kind, compassionate, tender and affectionate, loving, and she doesn’t put up with the perversions of the world around her…Oh and she hates ignorance with a passion sometimes unbridled.
So Yes.
Well, my husband is pretty great, and I feel that we are both very lucky in having found each other. He’s smart and funny and a good dad, and he works hard for our family, and we make a good team.
But the Perfect Mate? What’s that? I don’t believe in soulmates, or in the One True Love. While I feel lucky to have met him, I also think I probably could have been happy with somebody else; it’s not like he’s the only guy in history I could have been happily married to. (Although, thinking about the guys I knew when I met DangerDad, I wonder just who that could have been, 'cause he’s the best one.)
And I wonder if it doesn’t set up some unrealistic expectations to think about it that way–if he’s my Perfect Mate, then when things get tough it might prove that he wasn’t a PM after all, and therefore I should go out and find a better PM. We’re both human and imperfect, and we won’t always make life easy and sparkly for each other. Sometimes we really bug each other. But getting past that and being happy anyway–now that’s a good trick. 
So, um, I dunno.
Thanks DM - I specifically did not mention soul mates or the like because I too believe there are others we could have been happy with. I guess I am just asking this as a situational question not as a difinitive…
Nah, but that’s okay because I’m not either.
But we suit each other well enough for this lifetime.
My husband is perfect for me. I know he has a lot of traits that other women would kill him for, but I think he’s just wonderful. I just realized the other night (well, I probably realized it a long time ago, but just the other night articulated it to myself) that he has this really unusual mixture of geek and masculinity. Therefore, I’ve nicknamed him MachoGeek (which isn’t fair, as “macho” has connotations of a pose, and his masculinity is not fake at all). So, let me see, a list of his perfections: He’s a wonderful provider, makes me feel safe, is my biggest fan, is my best friend, great in bed, finds me devastatingly sexy (even though I don’t think I deserve that lable), supports me 100% in everything I do. Now, he’s not what you’d call a traditional romantic, but he likes to make me happy, and if I ask for flowers, I get flowers. If I ask for jewelry, I get jewelry. He’s also really smart. While I think there are probably a number of men in this world I could have been happy with, I couldn’t be happily married to someone I can’t have an intelligent conversation with.
Do I want to strangle him sometimes? Yes. But not often. We’ve been together for more than 20 years, have three kids together, and value one another above all else.
He is for me. Usually. The same way I am for him. Usually.
Thats perfect Norinew. W
In a few weeks, we’ll have our 27th wedding anniversary. If she’s not perfect for me, she’s mighty darn close.
Damn Gerbils ate what I was going to say next…
Anyway… Sounds like the perfect fit to me. And I think philosophically that is what everyone is looking for. Not Mr. or Mrs. Perfect Soul Mate. But instead, Mr. or Mrs. Perfect Fit.
WOW I’m waay over sappy today…
I always tell my kids “If you look for the perfect man, you’ll never find him. Instead, try looking for someone whos flaws you can live with.”
I wouldn’t say she’s the perfect mate, but I will say that she’s as close as I could reasonably expect someone to be.
Oh, hell yes.
Well, I think the Valentine’s card I got for the missus says it well. On the cover is a picture of a puppy and a kitten all snuggled up together (everybody say “Awwwww!”). The caption says “She playfully bats around a ball of yarn, he chases cars”. The inside caption says “And yet the fit is perfect”. Something like that, anyway. I’m a guy, I don’t read cards.
Yes, my husband is the perfect mate for me.
With him, I can debate questions of science, politics, philosophy, literature, etc. He listens to me and values my opinion. He’s willing to admit when he’s wrong, and he’s considerate and supportive. Our interests are generally the same, but he’ll spend hours doing something I want to do, even if he’s not really into it.
We rarely argue. If we can’t agree, we generally end up saying, "Well, I don’t agree, but if you feel that strongly about it . . . " We’re perfectly compatible, in that we’re willing to make allowances for each others’ flaws.
He’s my best friend, and we enjoy spending time together, which is the most important thing. I tell him every day how glad I am to have him (and he tells me the same.)
She’s as close as I ever expect to find. I’d never met anybody before her that I would happily have wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Our flaws aren’t so major that they get in the way, and we can live with them. We’ve known each other almost 10 years. No fights yet. I don’t know that I could accomplish that with anyone else… I probably never have.
I can’t think of anyone I’d rather spend the rest of my life with, so I guess that would make my husband my perfect mate.
Other women are often jealous of my husband. He’s thoughtful, likes to cook, and helps with the house cleaning. Plus I think he’s hot. More importantly, I love his personality. He’s got just the right amount of goofiness mixed in with intelligence. We enjoy many of the same things, but there are plenty of areas in which we differ or disagree too. I like it that way. It keeps our lives interesting. We both want (or don’t want in some cases) the same things in life. I could go on for days. My husband is the best.
If by “perfect mate” you mean we’re each other’s best friends and we both love each other deeply, then definitely. She’s so easygoing. She’s also intelligent, charming, flirtatious and still makes me feel incredibly secure and loved. I’ve never loved or even known anyone like her, so yeah, she’s the perfect fit.
She’s not yet my spouse but I’m proud to report that I’m actively working with exactly that goal in mind. If thing go according to plan, she’ll be near enough to perfection (for me) for any minor shortcommings not to matter.
You betcha. To all those chicks who dumped him or passed him by: Nerts to you, you don’t know what you’re missing! He’s all mine now and you can’t have him back.
yellowval, I think our husband is cheating on us!
Not my spouse but yes, he is my perfect mate. I don’t believe in “The One” or in soul mates, but I truly believe that I could never be as happy with someone else as I am with him. I’m sure if something happened between us, I could move on and eventually find someone else that I was compatible with, but we never would have the same connection as I have with my now-boyfriend.
He’s kind, caring, and thoughtful. He listens, and he’s very intelligent. Sometimes we just sit around all night just talking about nerdy stuff like dinosaurs because we’re both science geeks. He’s honestly the sexiest guy I’ve ever laid eyes on, and he treats me like gold. I just love him to death!