** Believe Jesus is Lord = normal, believe David Koresh is Lord = wacko. Why?
Does religion have a place in public debate?
WWJD Re: Gay People.**
WWKD?
** Something You Thought Would be Awful But It Turned Out to Be Great
Is laundry detergent OK to mix?**
It sure adds a lot more “fizz” to your rum and coke.
** US weapons in WWII
Tumor burgers?**
“Surrender, or we’ll blast your position with giant cystic teratomas!”
“Aieeee!”
** Elementary school nail hygeine
US weapons in WWII**
Ah yes, the Nail-Biting 3056th (a.k.a. Screaming Third-Graders). They were the true unsung heroes of D-Day.
Anyone go inside and order at McDonald’s recently?
Poll: How do you feel about clowns?
I don’t go in there, I hate even seeing pictures of Ronald McDonald.
Poll: Are ocean cruises white trash vacations?
How much do you do on the very last day of vacation (departure day)?
I empty my spittoon over the side and smoke a bunch of meth. Then maybe take a dump on the poop deck. I just loves Carnival Cruises!
** Puzzling things that people do
I understand why people abandon their cats now. Not sure what to do.
**
** Where does tariff money go?
Tumor burgers?**
Yes, with the dough raised from tariffs, the Trumps are holding a 4th of July Tumor Barbecue in the Rose Garden, and we’re all invited.
WWJD Re: Gay People.
Polling
IF you know what I mean.
**Poll: Should drunk drivers get the death penalty if they kill someone?
Poll: Have you ever driven drunk before? **
Uh…who wants to know?? :eek:
** Now that NASA is allowing tourists to visit the ISS…
I have left the Democratic Party.**
Now you can finally get away from it all!
Ants in the cat food what do I do?
My cat doesn’t want to eat.
Maybe start by taking the ants out of the cat food.
If You Could Set a Time Machine to Any Date?
What is an upper middle class lifestyle
In the 1400s, it meant only having to share your privy with two other families.
** I dreamed of the Periodic Table
What is so great about a Mercedes?**
It’s OK, but it doesn’t belong on the Periodic Table. You want a Honda Element.
It’s 2019 - what do you do for a living, and how has that changed since Y2K?
Yanking on power sockets too hard
19 years ago I was yanking on telephone cords too hard.
Now separated by two:
**Ants in the cat food what do I do?
My cat doesn’t want to eat.
My cat suddenly attacked my dog. WTF?
**
Probably the ants
** Hey dads, what do you want for Father’s Day?
Despite the negative views about Walmart, it’s still a good place to shop**
Yeah, great! Get me some giant-sized candy bars, and a jumbo bag of zip ties. 
Pope changes one line in Lord’s Prayer
Sick
Just wait until you hear about the bitchin’ change he made to the Hail Mary!
Fish and finger pie, or how did this lyric get by the AM radio censors?
catfish recipes
Fish and finger pie is a catfish recipe.
**HS graduation gift ideas
What is so great about a Mercedes? **
crosses that off the list