** Dog lovers, help me train my new dog!
What can we make out of junk and tools that will help us survive after the apocalypse?**
“Look, Rex, an old bedframe and some used oil filters. Let’s make a flamethrower!” “Woof!”
I just discovered I was starving my dog today
Time for the Christmas Stegosaurus!
The leftovers last a long, long time.
You just left it like that
Stories of extreme circumcision
Another ‘Ewwwww’
**
I just discovered I’ve been starving my dog
Cute kitten in need of home**
Problem solved!
**How Did The Ancients Measure Time/Years So Accurately?
Electronics
**
** Is there any alternative material that could replace or reduce the amount of timber we use?
Putting insulation in the attic
**
Ever unintentionally pleased someone?
One of the top 5 nicest things anyone’s ever done for me
And it wasn’t even on purpose.
** Single straight males: if an attractive woman makes the first move, are you likely to be dismayed…
Single women–if you don’t ask men out, why**
The answer will dismay you.
**Unconventional Thanksgiving side dishes
The Duggars are expecting again (#20!!) **
I hear they start every Thanksgiving dinner with placenta stew
Or they’re fans of Jonathan Swift.
Why do so many dopers use Ghandi instead of Gandhi?
Anti-Semitism
“Hollywood and the media are controlled by the Hindjews!”
Your Permanent Record
Tarring and Feathering
Click on “username” and go to the infractions tab, to find all instances of tarring and feathering by moderators since 2009.
Magnifying Glass…
Cause of facial abnormality?
Well, anyone’s face will show various blemishes and irregularities if you crank up the magnification enough. It’s really not “abnormal”.
Why do American Jewish voters favour the Democrats?
Cheetos in my ears!!
“I can’t hear youuu, Mitt Romney!!”
**Who Won the Sexual Revolution?
A National God? **
He’s the god you haven’t heard much about, because he’s got better things to do than smite people.
**Ever unintentionally pleased someone?
Learn and use the Man-Rules when it comes to showers **
Yeah, dude, you’re standing too close.
Is having little kids sings songs with 4 letter words amusing or horrifying?
Dinner at Eight, or, The Ferncliffes Aren’t Coming to Dinner
Because they don’t want to hear your kids swearing.
**What happens if you can’t pay a toll at a public tollbooth?
car crash simulation **
With a real car.
People who don’t wear glasses even though they need them
What’s your favorite T shirt say? Or what’s the picture on it?
I have no idea, it’s all blurry.
Job related advice wanted?!
I Just Tooted at Work
My advice; Do it quietly and don’t get caught.
Single women–if you don’t ask men out, why?
Knee replacement recovery
Oh, come on, always some excuse…
** Living with yourself
Poll: How long would it be before someone discovered your corpse?
**