You may think to yourself, how can that be? Well, let me tell you, having a long johnson has it’s setbacks. Sure, it’s a handy tool when waging a “shock & awe” campaign on the ladies, but beyond that, it becomes a nuisance. Some women are afraid of it and cower away! Kids always come knocking when they can’t find their jump rope! Some of my cowboy friends needed my help lassoing some cattle the other day! Then they needed to use it as a bull-whip!
I swear, this huge manhood of mine is more trouble than it’s worth.
Rhino, that’s funny, I heard that they lost the local flea circus, and when they retrieved it, they then noticed that your wanger was located in the miniature circus’ freakshow section, under the moniker, “See the world’s smallest penis - Bring Your Own Microscope.”
I guess I should stop complaining. Want to know why? Because I found a new trick that I can do with my enormous wang!
I got this wooden box that measures about 6 feet tall (maybe it was originally used as a coffin, I don’t know). So I looped my schlong through a hole on one side, and stretched it the length of the box, where I hold it tight with one hand. This allows me to pluck my donger like an enormous bass string, and the wooden box amplifies the vibration. It has this warm and deep sound to it. I can change the tone based upon how tightly I stretch my doinkis over the box. I’m a human bass guitar! I can glide a bow across it and it becomes a cello. I can play Moonlight Sonota.
My friend Billy had a ten foot willy
He showed it to the girl next door
She thought it was a snake
So she hit it with a rake
And now it’s only two foot four
Don’t you hate it when you go to pee and you start and it takes like 5 minutes for the pee to reach the end and start coming out. Meanwhile, you are just standing there with it coiled and draped over your left shoulder like an idiot. Any time I had to go to the bathroom between classes in high school, I would be late for the next class. At first, the teachers that I just didn’t care about tardiness but then they heard what a big wang I was having to wrestle back into my pants just to show up at all. That made them respect me even more.
everytime I get an erection, it takes up so much of my blood supply that I faint. At least I can never remember later what happened after that. On the other hand, I can take much better still photographs.
