It's Monday Somewhere: a very early MMP

Truck is desalinated, naturally it started drizzling while I was in line at the carwash.:dubious:

Apes, just don’t buy the tarp, duct tape, shovel, and axe at the same place. Not that I know anything about such matters.

And pay cash. And wear big ol’ sunglasses, a hat, and a baggy sweatshirt when you do. Not that I’ve seen too many cop dramas.

The best one I’ve heard of was a woman who killed her Husband with a cast iron skillet.
She was cooking; he teasingly goosed her, and she turned around quickly to slap him.
She forgot to put down the skillet.
She got away with it.
I figure she set him up. “Honey, would you scratch my bottom? Yeah, right THERE!” WHAM.

AND FOR OG’S SAKE, WEAR GLOVES!!!
preferably vinyl or latex, as fabric and leather gloves leave discernible prints.

Then there was the woman who killed her spouse with a frozen leg o’lamb, then served the lamb to the cops when they came to question her.

for the record, I HATE JUNK EMAILS!!!
I have set up filters and blocked senders 'til the cows come home, but I still get half a dozen a day!

Apes you should also change your outfit after each store. Remember, if you decide to buy, say, duct tape at :eek: Wally*World :eek: you’ll blend right in in a muumuu, fuzzy slippers, curlers and sunglasses. You won’t be noticed!

The turkey boob is done and at rest. OYKW (who is very, very good at this sorta thing) will slice it up in a bit. In keepin’ with the poultry theme, Ima grill up some boneless chikin boobs in a bit. We shall have that sliced up on top of a big ol’ spinach sallit. Taht’ll be a nice dindin. Plus there’s Mayfield’s Turtle Tracks Ice Cream!

How long do you sit in the sauna for? Try a couple of hrs & double the temp & see iffn you don’t want to go & lie down. :dubious:

Well then obviously the cows aren’t home yet. :smack:
The hour in the restaurant this morning means I didn’t get to do a bunch of stuff on my list today. Next time I’ll have to drive myself.

That was a novel, was it not?

I thought it was an episode of the Twilight Zone.

Supper has been et - pulled poke sammiches - yum!

Yes, you wish you had my life! :smiley:

I think Moooom is correct

Ladies and Gentlemen, we seek a realistic solution, not entertainment. :rolleyes:

Is there a self help group for people who take things personally on fb that probably have nothing to do with them? I think I need to join it. A friend of Dave’s posted a very negative status about being abandoned by all of her friends in her time of need and I feel kinda bad. But I also feel kinda pissed because bitching out your friends collectively is not really the way to win friends and influence people either.

I’m trying hard not to tell her what I think of her, although that usually seems to be the case with her anyways.

Good news, Bubba is home! I admit I’m a bit worried still because he has heart issues and they got a bit worse for a little bit but hopefully they’re back under control now. I know he’s just a dog and I know he won’t live forever but, yeah, this is tough. It was he who saved me from myself when I had my worst depression ever 10 years ago. I don’t like to think about all this.

just because it’s entertainment, doesn’t mean Apes shouldn’t consider it.

And while we’re at it, there’s always the disappearing weapon - the icicle: available in blunt force and deep stab models

StickyBuns yay for Bubbaschnoodle bein’ home again! He saved you from yourself and you have given him a safe, warm, lovin’ place to live. I say ya both done good!

Yep Leg O’ Lamb is a Twilight Zone episode. flytrap don’t lose heart. We can learn from teevee as well as real life.

Dindin has been et and turkey boob has been sliced. Gravy has also been made. Spidey I never thought of it that way. I guess a long steam in the sauna would make one tired. I’m sure it’d be just as true for a turkey boob.

Dinner has been et. Lime and blackened chicken with cilantro rice. I have girl scout cookies, since I couldn’t resist the vile temptresses at the Kroger.:smiley:
Yay for Bubba being home! Dogs are wonderful creatures, I’m not surprised he helped you .

Flytrap, why can’t it be both?

I saw a black albino woman today.

I stopped at a red light and she was waiting to cross the street. I couldn’t not look at her. I’ve been fascinated with albinos to varying degrees for most of my life.

She was heavy and had long blonde dreads. She looked at me and I looked away, but looked back at her and held eye contact for an inappropriately long time. She looked away. She looked mad.

I surveyed the rest of the intersection. Everyone else was staring too. She wasn’t enjoying the attention, as I suppose everyone stares at her all the time.

She began to cross the street in front of me. I started to roll down my window, I wanted to yell “I’m sorry for staring! I think you’re beautiful!”

She looked at me again. She still looked so angry. I stopped rolling my window down. I very pointedly looked at the red light I’m front of me and nothing else until it changed.

I drove away.

I should have told her.

I really think she was beautiful.

Get* him* to buy them.
Say it’s for kinky sex.

They’re not?:dubious:

We need to be serious here.
If she screws up, she faces a very, very high overhead.
:rolleyes: