It's our game, not your war, you primitive little twat.

[Buckler_of_Swashing]

@hajario

Jesus, you're just as bad as him

No, I don’t believe I am.

@Bricker

So, you suck at Laser Tag, eh?

I realise you’re joking, but nope. We’re none of us experts but we all usually do pretty well, and managed to topple this guy 3 games out of 3.

Being annoyed because some whinging little macho-man doesn’t like it when he loses and screams at women that they suck because they’re women and the men that they suck because ‘their dicks are so fucking tiny’ does not actually mean I’m also annoyed because he’s ‘better than me’.

@phungi

am I the only one aroused by all of this?

For some reason, I doubt it.

@Sage Rat

*wonders slightly how the rant segwayed into "not knowing a thing about women" from running about like an idiot but...*

Anyways, I would just recommend thinking more in terms of what fun you did have over how much fun the idiot ruined. Tends to be a better stress alieviator than ranting.

What, I must pick one and only one annoyance about someone when I pit them? Is that written someplace? I’d like to see it.

The guys spends 50% of his time either talking about how the reason he doesn’t have a girlfriend is because all the women around him are ‘evil lesbian feminist bitches’ or about how nobody had better ever go near his sister or he’ll ‘bash them’. It annoys me and while I was on the subject of him being annoying in a game I added that he was annoying a lot of the rest of the time too. That’s how it segwayed.

Anyway, we had fun for about the first 5 minutes of the first game. That was when the first person asked him to calm down. It all went downhill from there.

@Count Blucher

Reading the OP, I thought I caught the slightest whiff of sexual tension between the protagonist and the antagonist. (maybe it was just the perfume of an intern who just walked by though)

Follow the intern, it sounds like you’re in.

He’s a violence obsessed, immature, macho arsehole. Yeah, that really turns me on. :rolleyes:

@OneCentStamp

Sounds like the OP and his nemesis needed to just get a room and get it over with, so everyone could go back and enjoy Laser Tag. Nothing ruins a good war game like unresolved homoerotic tension

As the posters after you mentioned, I am female.
As I have mentioned, he’s pond-scum and thus not my type.
As I’m about to mention - It wasn’t him & I battling it out in a lather of sexual tension - everybody was pissed off at this guy. And none of the other guys are gay and none of the women, myself included, would touch this guy with gloves, antiseptic spray and a 50 foot pole. The lack of sexual and social allure present in this person pretty much rules out the ‘get a room’ solution. But thanks for playing.

@Ethilrist So

I bet he wouldn’t be such a wild-assed dick if you were playing paintball. Running around like a maniac and getting shot by your own team carries very little downside in laser tag, but in paint ball? Those suckers hurt, particularly if you’re running straight at the person shooting you.

Oh, and next time he runs in the maze? Tell on him. Get his ass kicked off the course.

His score? Not so good. The highest he placed overall was 11th (of 15) in three games. The people below him had not played before. He captured no bases and was hit frequently by everyone including his own team.

He’s pretty much the reason we haven’t tried to organise a paintball game recently. Nobody wants him to find out and turn up. We will play eventually, but maybe not until we’ve weaned him off us.

A guy did tell the staff member that he was running and shoving people around - they promised to watch the security cameras and pull him out if they saw anything. We stuck our heads out a little way through the games to check and staff member was playing Windows Solitaire. That was the last game, so we trudged back and looked forward to getting out and going home.

@Zabali_Clawbane

Am I mistaken, or is the OP a sister (or possibly friend of asshat's sister either) of the asshat that is pitted therein?  Can you clarify? Are you male, or female? (Though I suspect female.) Are you related to the jerk, or do you just have the misfortune to be acquainted with him, or was he "A Random Stranger 01"?

Not related, I just have to put up with him. He went to school with some of the people I hang out with and usually invites himself along to whatever is going on. Even his ex-schoolmates are pretty much sick of him.

I have met his sister a fair few times - she’s very quiet usually, but intelligent and cheerful when you get her out of the house and away from her father and brother. Of course, the only reason I don’t get beat up for talking to her is because I’m female. A different (male) friend of ours once drove past her walking in a storm and gave her a lift home. When her brother found out he spent weeks threatening to hurt the guy, it took a long time to convince him that it was all in innocence.

@crazyjoe

What, NOBODY thought to trip the stupid asshole and send him sprawling, face-first, into the maze walls? Put him out with an injury people, what's wrong with you? It's WAR!!!

Yeah, I hate dipshit LT players, too…especially the ones who cover their targets.

Actually, we think of it as a game, not a war. No we didn’t think to injure him and we wouldn’t have been proud of ourselves if we had.

I’ll assume your last comment means you think I’m annoyed because he was good at the game and the rest of us weren’t. The situation was the reverse.

@Wolfian

Never fails to amaze me that no matter how ass-backwards wrong a pittee is someone will always come to his defense. Meh, I’m sure I’ve taken some apparently dumbass positions myself.

Anyway, the subject of this rant was a socially maladjusted fucktard. While that sucks and all he needs to learn some kinda social skills at some point. Did you ever take him aside and tell him to cool it, Swashy? Some people are just dense.

Because we were mostly spread out individually, he got on people’s nerves individually, at first. So everybody started individually asking him to calm down, nicely. This got everybody screeched at for being soft. OK. As he got louder and more obnoxious and more violent (physically - not with the laser gun) everybody asked him to stop. When spoken to about anything in between games he growled that we were all ‘not playing properly’, were ‘stupid’ weak pussies’ and it generally got worse and worse. He was getting beaten and he didn’t like it.

@Oakminster

I can see where that might aggravate the jerkiness of the situation. I don’t play laser tag, but paintball is similar. In my experience, there’s not a large number of women that play…however, the ones that do play are often damned good at it. They ain’t on the mock-battlefield to go all girly. They’re out there to rip some ass, and they do it well.

I am female and while I’m not as good a player as them - some of the other girls who were there were very, very good, a certain two came 1st & 2nd overall in every game. He wasn’t very happy about that.

@Uvula Donor

You seem awfully obsessed with this “penis” thing.

Trust me, my OP pales in comparison to the regular conversation of this guy. He cannot go 5 minutes without associating the size of his or somebody else’s dick with just about anything. He is obsessed with this ‘penis’ thing. I’m just responding to it.

@Bippy the Beardless

• 4. The penis does not give the owner superpowers.
     Mine does.

But does it have a cape & utility belt?

@Happy Clam

Wait, I'm confused... is the Original Poster the sister of the primitive little twat?

No, I am unfortunate enough to know him in a social capacity but not unfortunate enough to be related to him.
In short:
No, I wasn’t annoyed because he beat me or anyone else. He did very poorly.

I wasn’t annoyed because I secretly find aggressive arseholes sexually exciting. To add to that, why is that some people’s first instinct? Women annoyed about a man’s behaviour = she wants him! WTF?

I was annoyed because I like having fun with my friends. I do not like poor sports, macho idiots, sexist arseholes or any combination of the above - coming in and ruining everyboy’s fun. Which was what happened.

[Marley23]

Ah, now I get it, Buckler of Swashing. He’s not a laser tag asshole, he’s an asshole who just happened to be playing laser tag. Co-ed competition can be a tricky thing to manage sometimes, but a dickhead like that isn’t even going to try to deal with it.

[Wolfian]

Ah, I see.

(Be sure to read the next two or so after the ones I linked. They’re story arcs.)

[JustAnotherGeek]

@Buckler of Swashing

But does it have a cape & utility belt?

Mine do…
Oh, you probably don’t want to hear about that.
<ahem> But anyway, yeah, sorry; the dude sounds like he needs to get off of the crack / meth / roids / himself. You could always go for the not so subtle route: “Dude, you piss the hell out of everyone around here. We let you tag along because we like your sister. You are the annoying little brother that a mom forces us to bring along. You are now legally old enough to drink. You need to learn some social skills. We would like to see you either mellow out and learn how to behave around us, or leave us alone. Your choice.”

Good luck on that.

(BTW, buncha friends and I went LT’ing last week. in the first game we had some fun just shooting each other, then we got grouped into a second game with a bunch of high schoolers that must live at there. 9 of us and 5 of them. Three teams, 4 and 5 of us and the 5 of them. We did so poorly, the total of our two teams’ scores was lower than the HS’ers.)

[Malacandra]

@Buckler of Swashing

But does it have a cape & utility belt?

[Edna Mode]No capes! :mad: [/EM]

[eleanorigby]

I was all ready to come in here and comment that you can’t expect maturity from a 9 or 12 year old…22?
:eek:
Um…run-fast. This guy most likely will not improve with age.
Hope sis gets out of there, soon.

[Marley23]

@Wolfian

Ah, I see.

That’s pretty funny!

[WhyNot]

I used to work at a Photon (the REAL laser tag, accept no substitutes! OK, accept any subsititute, because Photon is pining for the fjords. sob) and believe me, the employees HATE this kind of asshattery nearly as much as the patrons. I’d have kicked his sorry ass out of there so fast…

Twice I actually witnessed an asshole get his comuppance. But then there were many insurance forms to fill out. Let me tell you about them, so you may imagine your asshat in their place:

The first asshat was incredibly obese. Now, I am a Large Gal myself, but this kid was HUGE. He was a runner - or more of a gallumper, as he couldn’t really propel himself with any speed. However, as it was a private party and only he and his friends were on the field, I didn’t kick him out. I did issue a number of warnings, however. Finally, he came barrelling down a ramp (it was a two-story field) and grazed a plastic cover on the corner of a half-wall. The angle of the corner was not sharp - in fact, it was a 60 degree angle. (Yep, I had to measure it for said insurance forms.) Yet the force of his blow overcame the tensile strength of his skin, bulging as it was because of his bulk. His skin split open, revealing gobs of yellowish fat which spewed out the cut. It was, quite possibly, the nastiest thing I’d ever seen.

Second guy was just a spazz. Not so much aggressive as stupid. He was bouncing up and down in line, not listening to the rules or anything. He just could not frickin sit still. For some reason the patrons wanted to play our Omega Field, which had been converted into a dance club several years earlier. The boss gave it the go-ahead, and I emphasized how there was to be absolutely NO RUNNING AT ALL, since there were tables and bar stools and club equipment all over the place. Of course, Spazzhat didn’t take notice, and came running down a ramp at full tilt, only to smash into the 4 X 15 mirror on the wall across from the bottom of the ramp. Shattered into a gazillion little pieces, many of which found a new home in Spazzhat’s skin.

[Hostile_Dialect]

@WhyNot

I used to work at a Photon (the REAL laser tag, accept no substitutes!

If you want to play real laser tag, it’s all about Ultrazone.

[Clothahump]

Trip his ass next time.

[BMalion]

@Buckler of Swashing

…I wasn’t annoyed because I secretly find aggressive arseholes sexually exciting. To add to that, why is that some people’s first instinct? Women annoyed about a man’s behaviour = she wants him! WTF?
…

I was unaware that you are a female, hence my earlier joke.

This guy sounds like a complete tool. If he shows up up at any social function why doesn’t some brave soul walk up to him and say “would you excuse us please, we’re trying to have agood time.”

[Beware_of_Doug]

I suggest your lazer tag group invite yon asshat back one more time and appoint him Drill Sergeant. He will not be allowed to actually play the game, only to skulk around
getting in players’ faces and offering up unsolicited criticism. Present him with a Smokey the Bear hat decorated with this button.

[Beware_of_Doug]

@WhyNot

His skin split open, revealing gobs of yellowish fat which spewed out the cut. It was, quite possibly, the nastiest thing I’d ever seen.

Jesus AITCH, lady! I had prime rib, rare, last night, and I just about yakked it after reading that!

You wanna at least put up a TMI before posting something like that.

:rolleyes:

[WhyNot]

@Beware of Doug

Jesus AITCH, lady! I had prime rib, rare, last night, and I just about yakked it after reading that!

You wanna at least put up a TMI before posting something like that.

:rolleyes:

Yeah, you’re right. I thought of that about .02 milliseconds after hitting SEND. I apologize. If you report the post, I’m sure a mod can add spoiler tags and a TMI warning.

[OneCentStamp]

@WhyNot

The first asshat was incredibly obese. Now, I am a Large Gal myself, but this kid was HUGE. He was a runner - or more of a gallumper, as he couldn’t really propel himself with any speed. However, as it was a private party and only he and his friends were on the field, I didn’t kick him out. I did issue a number of warnings, however. Finally, he came barrelling down a ramp (it was a two-story field) and grazed a plastic cover on the corner of a half-wall. The angle of the corner was not sharp - in fact, it was a 60 degree angle. (Yep, I had to measure it for said insurance forms.) Yet the force of his blow overcame the tensile strength of his skin, bulging as it was because of his bulk. His skin split open, revealing gobs of yellowish fat which spewed out the cut. It was, quite possibly, the nastiest thing I’d ever seen.

(emphasis mine)

All I can see when I close my eyes now is Han cutting the Tauntaun open with Luke’s lightsaber. Did it look like that? Did you, upon finding this wounded fat man, comment that you thought…he smelled bad…on the outside?

[Dinsdale]

Played laser tag on a few occasions.
My biggest objection was to a couple of behaviors by younger kids.

Groups of 3 or so pre-teens frequently set up kill zones that took a bit of enjoyment out of public games.
But my least favorite were the little kids who, if they or their parent shot you, the kid would follow you until you blinked back on again, and shoot you at pointblank range. Over and over. Jeez, kid, just let me get away from you.

Now it strictly paintball for me.

[WhyNot]

@OneCentStamp

(emphasis mine)

All I can see when I close my eyes now is Han cutting the Tauntaun open with Luke’s lightsaber. Did it look like that? Did you, upon finding this wounded fat man, comment that you thought…he smelled bad…on the outside?

L’esprit de l’escalier, my friend, L’esprit de l’escalier…

At the time, I was mostly saying, “Ew.”

(And when I say “spewed out”, I mean “spewed out”. Pieces of fat were no longer part of his body, they were on my carpet. Less Tautaun and more Bluto Blutarsky.)

[OneCentStamp]

@WhyNot

L’esprit de l’escalier, my friend, L’esprit de l’escalier…

At the time, I was mostly saying, “Ew.”

(And when I say “spewed out”, I mean “spewed out”. Pieces of fat were no longer part of his body, they were on my carpet. Less Tautaun and more Bluto Blutarsky.)

So…more like the aftermath of a firecracker in a plate of kugel?

[Beware_of_Doug]

@Buckler of Swashing

…I wasn’t annoyed because I secretly find aggressive arseholes sexually exciting. To add to that, why is that some people’s first instinct? Women annoyed about a man’s behaviour = she wants him! WTF?

I’m gonna guess you don’t live in America. The bad-boy mystique is deeply ingrained here.

[EddyTeddyFreddy]

@WhyNot

L’esprit de l’escalier, my friend, L’esprit de l’escalier…

At the time, I was mostly saying, “Ew.”

(And when I say “spewed out”, I mean “spewed out”. Pieces of fat were no longer part of his body, they were on my carpet. Less Tautaun and more Bluto Blutarsky.)

Ah – a do-it-yourself liposuction?