Didn’t the assault-by-goat happen before the CUP was christened? (Sweet Baby Jesus, I never want to know how it was christened.)
Honestly, for a Chair of Ultimate Power complete with net-ready laptop, I’d go five rounds with conjunctivitis, stomach flu, and a goat with a fratboy-in-the-roofie-factory disposition all at the same time.
That last part definitely isn’t fluff. It’s better than about 50% of the population manages. Kick back and enjoy the good times. It sounds like you earned them.
Aaaaaaaah! No no no no no no!!! 
Badtz Maru, I won’t B.S. you and say something like “everything” will be peachy". There’s no way to know that. But remember, whatever happens, life will go on. It’s never so bad that you should quit trying. Put your happiness in a place that can’t be touched by the actions of others.
Yuengling Lager!
Mmmmmmmmmmm
Care to share? Buying a round will always belay Mr. Bad Shit.
I have but one question…
How are things with the Groundhogs?