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I heard an interview with the guy who makes the ones you can buy. My favorite example he gave was “You’re no Jack Kennedy.”
I made fortune cookies for my friends birthday a few years ago. When he recieved them they were in this beautiful box- all nicely presented and such. Inside the fortune cookies though were fortunes such as “We will get you when you’re sleeping” and “No one loves you”. The funniest thing was that his younger sister stole one of the fortune cookies from him and when she opened it, it read “We’re watching you when you shower”. 
Given the amount of fusion that goes on at restaurants in T.O. these days, that’s not a given. I regularly get fortune cookies with non-Chinese food.
Of course, I won’t mention that I was just typing romaji randomly and hoping they’d hook up into kanji, because I know even less about Chinese than I do about Japanese. 
Dammit, Sunspace, you just ruined my anticipation about learning a new idiomatic phrase.
I accidentally Chinese characters!
If that is real, it is awesome.
“Geese are Troublesome.”
Your parking permit expires in 東 minutes.
Congratulations! You have just won an all-expenses-paid holiday in beautiful British Honduras!
Please do not look under the table.
This will soon be a learning experience.
Oh east, you’ve done so well for yourself! Now, you’re not only a direction: you’re also a measure of time!
“Knock, knock.”
How about finding an ATM slip in the cookie instead of a fortune?
I once found “Don’t waste time worrying about the future”, which struck me as pretty ominous.
It has sometimes been said that numbers do not behave the same in restaurants as they do in the rest of the universe. Well, this is also true of directions. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to get home before 北 o’clock to take a phone call from the past.
:: snap ::
:: read ::
Now, what does this fortune cookie mean?
Eskimo
“You just lost the game.”
I’m in your base killing your guys.
Your cat has discovered something interesting.
Prunella Pea and Penelope went riding one day, when-- (paper ripped)
Call your broker.
Red, green, blue, white… who shall we tag tonight? It’s you. You. You!
Did you find coin in teapot, or will busboy get it?
Man who followed you in is now waiting at your car.
We don’t use too much MSG in this restaurant. It’s just your imagination.
She’s just not that into you.
Someday you will die.
You’re not as funny as you think you are.
We will bury you.
Thanks for reinforcing ethnic stereotypes.
Sulu should’ve been in command, not Kirk.
My hovercraft is full of eels
Your life is to serve as example to others
Fortune on other side (other side is blank)