Hi friends,
Been reading, but haven’t had the energy to respond. Been a combination of busy (which is a good thing) and just blah. I’m joining the rest of you under the painful/crabby thundercloud. Going to go for a hot bath after I get off here and hoping it will ease that a bit. TBH, though, I’m a lot crabbier than the pain really warrants.
Took on some kids who need looking after a few days a week. They’re wild and extremely destructive, so I’m learning how to navigate that- both how to childproof the house/what things need to be locked away (i.e. pretty much everything) and just sort of who they are and what makes them tick. So that’s a good thing, overall- better than just being in my own head all the time.
At the same time, I’m doing intensive outpatient/group therapy via video chat and those two things overlap at some points. I’m not loving group therapy, but it’s never really been my jam. Having it on video chat is weird, too, because it makes it much less like a conversation and more like a series of individual therapy sessions, only we’re all listening in to each other’s. It’s awkward and now extra awkward now that I keep getting interrupted by random kid questions. I’m working on a few ways to cut down on that, so I guess we’ll see what helps and what doesn’t.
My hospital/medical app keeps pinging me with notifications and- another way I can tell I’m too crabby for my own good- *buzz * “You have a new message” “UGH WHAT NOW?” … and of course none of them are anything unexpected. Just appointment reminders, mostly. I think they’re stressing me out mostly because a lot of the bills are coming in all at once and my ability to pay them is… well, I’m going to have to figure something out. So far, that’s meant telling the one-on-one therapist that I’ll call her when I’m in a better position (if I ever am) because even the co-pay is out of my price range. And the rest… I mean, PT is important and takes priority. I guess next ECT session, I’ll ask about what the ramifications would be of stopping now. And the groups… I’d be okay with dropping those.
Also, as we speak, I’m being asked to take a foster dog. Just briefly got a look at his picture yesterday and, as I recall, he’s about thirteen years old, very underweight, heartworm positive, possibly blind, and missing most of his hair. So of course I want him, but I think I’m already trying to balance too much. I’ll get all the relevant info- like if he has somewhere to go if I don’t take him and, importantly, what my landlord thinks- and then decide. There’s a good chance that if I do take him, I’ll have him for the rest of his life.
um… so that’s the news.
