Anything I can do to keep foxes away from my house?
Unmarked police cars
Seems extreme…
Clowns in woods try to lure children with money, residents say
Well, it finally happened to me
And I got $40!
**Little facts people get wrong
Loosing my Jetta! [cat]
**
Mr Cecil Adams, Just read your thread on how anti-depressants don’t work
Ate a Twinkie today.
Pluto vs Earth
Self-defense question
“The so-called New Horizons probe passed directly through Plutonian space, ignoring all orders to alter course, in a blatantly provocative violation of Plutonian sovereignty. The Earthlings are known throughout the Solar System as an aggressively expansionist species; witness the ever-larger and increasingly heavily armed invasion robots they have sent to our fraternal planet of Mars as part of their program of so-called ‘peaceful exploration’.”
** What can truly be done about “Trump supporters”
Reluctance to create new countries outside Europe**
C’mon, it’s a great idea.
** 27 hour surgery to separate conjoned twins.
We Are Going to Adopt a Child!
**
Aw, c’mon! Adopt Both!
Don’t break up a set!
Last food you threw away after one bite?
200 tons of jade
**Things some people just can’t see or notice
Largest Russian Fleet Since The Cold War Sailing to Syria
**
Politics affects some people’s ability to notice things.
** What is a POTUS usually doing at his/her Oval Office desk?
How much of a brain is necessary to live?**
Much of Warren Harding’s daily routine was accomplished at brain stem level.
emPHAsis on the wrong syLABble in song
SongShitting, as in, “Thats a real good song, except for this part”
The most cringeworthy moment in pop music
Walking to Work
Pedals is Dead
I have to walk to work until my bike’s fixed.
** Animals Hunting Humans
If asked do you partake?**
Yeah, but they hardly ever ask. The good parts are always gone by the time I get there. 
**Never start a conversation with …
Cake-smashing and “Speak now or forever hold your peace”**
'Cause you’ll get an earful, believe me.
**What is the worst wedding you have been to?
Eenie, Manny, Moe, and Jack **
I knew it! I knew same-sex marriage would lead straight to polygamy!
**Your read a parchment scroll–then what do you do?
I spend an hour in a sensory deprivation chamber **
**Well, it finally happened to me
I saw a military convoy carrying single beer coolers. Any reason why? **
Congratulations. Just two steps left & you’re a full-fledged member of the Illuminati.
Thanks Microsoft, anything else you’d like to jam up my ass?
Sorry, that product is no longer available
But we’re sure you will enjoy our alternative selections.
I’m going to need help disposing of a body.
What is your “worst birthday” story?
Yeah… That prank on Birthday Boy may have gone a little too far.
** Never start a conversation with …
nuh nuh nuh nuh… nuh nuh nuh nuh… Elmo’s World
**