I've lassoed someone in! Let the hazing begin!

I’ve gotten a friend to start a guest account with the offer that I will purchase him a year’s subscription if he chooses to stay.

His user name is Patrick Wilson.

So, should I warn him about the goat?

I like beer, long walks on the beach, and food items containing pork.

What is this goat of which hats speaks?

Don’t worry about the goat yet. The important questions are:

  1. The Princess Bride, yea or nay?
  2. Star Wars or Star Trek?
  3. Toilet paper, under or over the roll?
  4. Puppies or kitties?

Answer these correctly, then we’ll decide about the goat.

Not to mention:
5) Shoes in the house. On or off?

P.S. Welcome!

Let’s not forget (6) Thank you notes – bare minimum of courtesy or sign of the oppressive expectations of the old?

ETA: Welcome!

And if Trek, Kirk or Picard?

Also, 7) Toilet paper hanging down the front or back?

Welcome, Patrick Wilson!

We have a few more questions for you.

Asterix or Tintin?
Mac or Linux?
Mac/Linux or Windows?
HHGttG, the movie, or HHGttG, the original TV series?
CF or SD?
Coke or Pepsi?
L2: French or Spanish?
RPN or Algebraic?
AutoCAD or ArchiCAD?
Tim Hortons or Krispy Kreme?
Undies or commando?
Boxers or briefs?
Toilet seat: up or down?

The answers to all these questions will help us customise your user experience. Please come this way. We have a nice buffet in Room 209 (I know, the brochure mentioned ‘buffet on the terrace’, but that was subject to availability, and the terrace was already booked for a wedding party. At least, I think that’s what that is.)

He just wants to be your friend!

Now, the squid

Hello Patrick Wilson. Be welcome. Enjoy your stay. :slight_smile:

See number 3, missy. :wink:

You also forgot Janeway and Sisko. What kind of Star Trek fan are you, anyway?

Even if it is only for 20 minutes.

Heavens, no! :eek:

:smack:

The less you know, the better. Poor bastard.

I almost feel sorry for you. Of course, I say that as I’m greasing up the pogo stick.

Are you allergic to possum fur? Because in the initiation, we sorta kinda use a lot of it.

Poor bastard.

That was possum fur? Dear God, what a relief!

Welcome Patrick Wilson.

Psssst…tdn…we decided against the pogo stick after that “unfortunate incident.” TubaDiva prefers the jackhammer…louder and quicker.

Well, that’s what we’re calling it these days. No need to scare off the newbs.

But you can’t spell “Fiberglass” without “Fiber.” And hey, it’s easy to convince newbs that they need plenty of fiber. Besides, the rats seem to wear it well.

Poor bastard.

Pssst… ivylass… remember when we decided to call it a “pogo stick”? Because we thought that its real name was a little “offputting”?

Oh, Mariah is very friendly too! She just has this … unconventional way of showing it.

The gorilla, meanwhile, is growing hairier by the minute. But he’s been so well fed from the last couple of initiations that he doesn’t seem bothered by it. Yet.

And I didn’t get the memo? I suppose you’re going to tell me the blueberry muffins aren’t really blueberry muffins either!

Welcome! Enjoy your stay! Would you care for a margarita? Salt or no? Frozen or on the rocks? Try not to step on the cats - they do tend to get underfoot.