Well, as someone who had a honest-to-gosh, no foolin’ Uncle Rocky, I think I’m qualified to be in the Cecilian mafia.
Do you have anyone to be the Don’s hot mistress yet?
I wanna be the God Father! No wait, I suppose Uncle Cecil probably has that role staked out. Okay then, I’ll be the Clod Father! The other, much less bright, much less important guy that nobody can understand. Y’know, the one the family keeps around for comic relief.
Or I could be that inconsequential guy who dies in the first reel of the movie. And then you other Good Fellas could spend the rest of the movie trying to avenge my death. And then, at the end, it turns out that <gasp!> I’m still alive!!!
Just a thought.
Don Coldfire Tomassino reporting for duty. I’m the guy that everyone just loves and trusts, but I’m also the guy that will rat on each and every one of you in the end.
“Ah, que pane! Ma, que olio a oliva!”
(Don Tomassino on Sicily, having lunch)
Hmm digs out her little black dress Will I be needing this? Or shall I just get a violin case as well and kill them all with my playing (Since I have never learned to play the violin…)
red_dragon60: I played baseball for three years in high school. I’ll be lifting weights in my room if you need my services with anything big and painful.
And I look damned good in a suit.
Hm… I married, and divorced, a Sicilian - and survived to tell the story. shifts so that the stiletto in the top of her stocking is briefly visible Anything I can do for you?
I’m a lawyer, and I’ll be the consiglieri, or your designated mouthpiece if Wally’s set on the job.
As long as I get to occasionally participate in making a real estate deal for the occasional troll on the side…
To take charge of the working girls. 
Well, I am a locksmith/security tech. So I am more than qualified for any B&E and wire taps. You need blackmail material no sweat. You need a safe opened? HA HA I could do that left-handed without breaking a sweat.
But wait there is more!
Not only that, but I did study forensics in collegean have stayed up to date in that field. Want someone to clean up a crime scene? Better still point the evidence towards our rivals? laugh sure but what am I supposed to do after lunch?
AND as a bonus I do own a SVD Draganov rifle (Soivet sniper rifle) for those occasional “reach out and touch someone” jobs. With the lack of Nazi ground hogs in alabama I am willing to help out the family.
I even own a really nice Soviet officers overcoat Nice big and gray. Lots of room for concealing the tools of my trade.
I would be proud of helping out Unca Cecil and family if you so choose. COuld I have a sidekick/aprentice?
Osip
Hey , Don Coldfire Tomassino what size shoes you take anyway?
[inner voice]If I can do it quickly and quietly I might just get away with wackin’ a made guy[/inner voice]
FWIW:
[shameless self-promotion, except not really]
My grandmother grew up in a VERY small town in Normandy (the population doubled when my family stayed there for a month, and my family is 6 people) in the early part of this century. When the Germans invaded France the house was seized (luckily her family no longer lived there) and there were a helluva lotta Nazi soldiers living in it. When someone from my family (general, not immediate) went back to salvage the remains, they found not only the house largely intact but some souvenirs left over. Included were various forms of paraphernalia such as a sword and helmet, and some other stuff. Very cool stuff in 8th grade history. Anyway, I like to think sometimes that a little bit of the harshness of those guys (and nothing else, God save me otherwise) rubbed off.
And no, I don’t have the stuff anymore. It would make for a rather interesting fantasy, though.
Jesus H. Christ on a neon green 1969 Harley Davidson Electra Glide Flat Head, what the fuck are you talking about, iampunha?
Hey Wally that threw you out of character . 
Doesn’t sound like the guy who said :
“I want dat job. I paid my doos.”
Maybe you not from Sicilian blood after all . Hey what size you shoes you wear ?
And what the feck are you talking about iampunha ?
Okay . . .
All I meant was that I can be a lean, mean fighting machine b/c I have come across Nazi paraphernalia (damn, I hate spelling that word). Not condoning what they did, just saying, dang it’s cool to have that shit in your house when you’re 13 and still relatively naïve. Even tried on the helmet, whence the deduction that it was hitler youth stuff, along with the canteen and sword and something else. There was a loaded gun or some other explosive in the house, which prompted the police to come over and escort it away (this in France, not in my house).
Osip - I’m your man! I’ve always wanted to be introduced as someone’s “little friend.”
And I think the Cecilian Mafia, being more enlightened than the average, could use someone in genetics. Why waste someone the old-fashioned way when we can bioengineer a bug to give her a much slower, more painful, and best of all, untraceable death?
Now I see iampunha , it all makes sense now . 
Close, but not quite.
Michael Corleone asks Hyman Roth who gave the order for the assassination attempt on Frank Pentangeli. (“Who gave the order? I know I didn’t”)
Roth tells him about Moe Green, who he ran Molasses with, and was fond of. Moe Green turned up dead (killed by Corleone’s goons in Godfther 1) and Roth, who certainly knows that Corleone was responsible, said that when it happened, he let it go:
“I never asked (cough) who gave the order. (cough) BECAUSE IT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH BUSINESS!”
My expertise in Godfather history, incidentally, is my application for being a mafioso in the “Adams family.”
By the way, I think we need a new name.
Wally! Get your pants back on!
When I said, “Tonight he sleeps with the fishes,” that’s not what I meant!
Lucky Lucretia- We are always in need of hot mistresses. Can you mix a martini?
FreakFreely da freak- Welcome, Clod Father! You’re seat is right over there. Just watch out for the ottoma- BWAHAHAHAHA!!!
Don Coldfire- You will help me take care of the little gambinos, right? I do need extra help ratting out the trolls to the fuzz.
Topaz da temptress- You will need that dress to distract the enemies of the family. Then you can kill them with your violin playing. If that doesn’t work, just get one of the boys to gun 'em down for ya.
“Sassy”- You can be our inside word on the enemies of the family. Can you use that stiletto? We could always use someone who is both beautiful and deadly.
“The 2nd law”- You can defend the family, should we ever need it. You will also instruct us as to what puts you in for more time, arson or murder. Or extortion.
Sweet Sweet_lotus- I will have you in charge f the girls then. Make sure they can use fully automatic weapons in dresses. That is your first assignment.
Osip the Weasel- I will have you as our overall sneaky guy who does all of our hard work. You will have to follow us around to cover up any evidence. Also to open up any safe that “fall from the sky.” You will also be the sniper for our Don Cecil, should he need one.
For tha rest of da boys, keep up the good work. We took out the extortion racket the Vos Savants had on both Encyclopaedia Brittanica and Webster’s. And we sent 3 trolls to sleep with the fishes.
Beloved Godfather, honored Gentlemen;
I would like to nominate myself for the position of Don Ceciliano’s right hand, otherwise known as Consigliere. I have seen several people nominate themselves for this position, but I have not heard reddragon appoint one, thus I shall assume that the position is till open. Here we go, reasons why I should take this position:
"Consigliere" is Italian for "counselor", one who serves as the visier as it were for the Don Himself, as well as a general attorney, information broker, and agenda-setter, general secretary, frontman, and any other duty seen fit for the good Don. I am perfect for this position- I am a know-it-all, and information broker. I report only to the Don himself or his caporegimes, those subordinate to the Don but the head of there own branches of the family, like red dragon here. Most of you will have to report to the Consigliere at some point, as he collects information and orders to create a viable agenda to execute for maximum gangwar efficiency.
Here are my qualifications: -I'm pre-law
-I’m a linguistics major, and speak english, spanish, klingon, konkani, sanskrit, and a bit of japanese.
-I have done no time (a man who is Consigliere needs to be 110% CLEAN)
-
I negotiate well. It is also a duty of the consigliere to meet with the friends and rivals of the Family to negotiate terms of meeting with the Don.
-(lastly, and perhaps most importantly) I’m sitting here with an open copy of Mario Puzo’s original novel “The Godfather” (it’s like a how-to manual!) and I have noticed that thus far I am the only one to spell Consigliere correctly.In closing, I would like to note the this very important job is all brains and little muscle, which helps me, and in sucking up I would like to say the the name “cecilian mafia” is brilliant, and to wonder why the hell I didn’t think of this whole thing 4 months ago when I signed up for the SD.