Hey, where does a ruthless dame sign up here? I am prepared to give it 110% all for the family, of course.
I speak Italian, Spanish, English an’ some German. So if yoos guyz need to do sumtin in da old country (whichevah one dat may be), just tell me.
Don Akbar
flup da flippa- You will be the consiglieri to the Don. Winebottle Wally and the 2nd Law will be lieutenants to the Don. Treat them as equals, as they have as much power as you.
Arsenic Angkins- Can you use a .50 cal machine gun? Because we put one in the back of one of our corvettes, and we need a gunner. You could probably fill the part. I hope you can shoot in a moving car.
Annihilation Akbar-You can be the translator and business man abroad for the family. I hope you can fill these shoes, cuz if ya can’t, they’ll become cement.
Yo. I wanna be tha guy what sets stuff on fire.
Does the Mob have a gadget guy, like Bond’s Q? Or maybe you need some hacking done?
And by the way, any truly professional femme fatale uses poison to kill enemies… Botutoxin works well, it’s pretty much untraceable.
I’ll get right to it, immediately. Anyone who can help, please come to an independent information thread. Wally and Law, as caporegimes, you can probably help a lot.
Sealemon the Fish- I have you down for all of our firebombing needs. In addition, you will create all of our “things that go boom!”. Yhis can be a very satisfying job.
Chronos the Cabinet- You can be our wacky gadgets guy. I need them to work just over half the time, to add comic relief to our already comic mob.
I can do whatever in takes boss, who is my driver?
Oooh, oooh, can I be an assassin, a deadly dame no one suspects because they’re looking for a gorilla in a zoot suit? There’s a cinematic precedent: the hit-woman who almost blew away Robert Redford in The Sting.
I can look harmless and wholesome and get close to targets without arousing suspicion. By the time they realize their mistake, blam!, bye-bye, bad guy.
Veb
- breathy voice…*
Sure I can, you want vodka or gin, sweetie? [pout] Don’t get mad, Cecil baby, I was just mixing him a drink. [/pout]
I don’t mix drinks or kill people, but I’m willing to learn. I do have a cool black leather jacket, which I think is a good start for a position in the Cecilian Mafia. Waddaya say, flup, am I in?
I got not one but two mallets that I swing regularly.
I’m not afraid of blood and guts. I have personally ripped the stomachs from over 1000 gulls. I’ve pithed my share of frogs. I’ve hammered turtles.
Put my 5-foot 9-inch frame on top of my 4 inch fuck-me shoes, let the glint from my glasses blind them momentarily, then…
WHACK.
I also have access to an incinerator. (But the pieces have to go into a biohazard bag. There are rules, ya know?)
smiles Wonderful! walks around in her slinky black dress and heels her hair done up in a french twist with her violin and bow ready Just point me at the people you want to suffer. And if your gonna follow make sure you have ear plugs. I don’t want to be hurting our allies. (Unless they deserve it)
Latest intelligence indicates that Key Lime is a damn tasty flavor. That’s all for now.
Babar— i’m afraid I’m not the admissions dude, you’ll have to ask red dragon, but once you get in, you are indeed my Bitch (yes, you personally). However, I will be happy to vouch for you (if that’s ok with you, RD?)for admission into the Cece Mob, provided you can yield proof of ownership of this leather jacket, because I’m not convinced yet…
A-right, flup. You could send you lackies over to check sales records at the Wilson’s in the mall. Or I could shove it up your ass, pull one sleeve out your nose, and make you my new flup-colored bow-tie. Which would you prefer?
I humbly offer my services Don Dragon.
Information is everything. I can give you a spymaster better than Arakasi. For the skinny on everyone (even the fat people).
Alternatively if we’re to be a modern mafiosa, I can develop communication strategies to ensure we’re ** perceived ** as honest, upstanding famil-loving businesspeople. Heck I can make politicians look good - you guys would be easy. You’re much straighter shooters.
OK, I rang up an abbettoir, And they can supply a Cow’s head, But the Glue factory dosent use horses and the local butchers got very worried when I asked for Sheep and ducks heads.
No progress on outsourcing a Yak’s head.
BTW< I’m now banned from the local florist as they downright refuse to deliver a cows head surrounded by tulips to Marianne Vos Savant, to the point of calling the police if I ever show up ther again.
Time to change florist.
I’d like to be the clueless Diane Keaton. “Gee, wiz, your family sure is close to each other. I mean, I like my parents, but I don’t live in a COMPOUND!”
Tanks Boss.
I do make a great red sause - the secret is the dry rosemary (rosemary crossed us once too many times in the past).
You want I should take care of de sniveling idjit who keep pokin’ his head in hear wid all kinds of mushy crap! You say de word, and I’ll havim stuffed with rigatoni, and hung on your wall for a trophy!
I wanna be the sassy female newspaper editor who runs the Daily Picayune Times Journal, a pro-mob hack paper that for everytime a wiseguy gets nailed by the coppers, I find incriminating pictures of senators with their interns for da Family to get the boys off da hook.
My paper, also, will not run the Garfield cartoon.