Jokes you make up in your dreams.

“Being born with a bag over your head is not a great disadvantage, if you can pull it off.”

Often my dream jokes make no sense to me after I’m awake, and I’m wondering what made me think they were so funny in my dream. But I’m rather proud of this one.

Share some of yours (funny or not) :stuck_out_tongue:

I don’t have any dream jokes that I know of, but on a similar “note”, I have dream songs every once in a while. The pattern is often the same:

(a) In a dream, I will hear (or sometimes play “in my head”) some familiar song.
(b) The song will have a seemingly familiar melody and lyrics. The lyrics even rhyme.
© When I wake up, I will remember the melody but only a sketchy recollection of the lyrics.
(d) The melody will actually be some real melody that I am familiar with, but it often takes me a while to place it.
(e) The lyrics, as best I can sketchily remember them, make little or no sense, and didn’t actually rhyme at all, and are definitely not the real lyrics of the real song.

How creative is THAT?

Of course, within a half hour or so, I will usually have forgotten everything about it.

From what I can remember after I wake up, my dream music is much, much better that my dream humor. The only dream humor of mine that I ever found at all funny after I woke up was a cartoon in which a guy is saying to a cat: “I’ve told you a thousand times, my name is not Raoul.”

All I can give you is the punchline. I don’t remember the setup and I’ve tried unsuccessfully to construct one in my waking hours.

Punchline: “Because the Kurds got in their way!”

That’s pretty funny.

Sort of a song, sort of a joke, but not really either:

Many years ago I was sleeping in til the crack of noon. In my half sleep I “heard” some funky music, and some lyrics that were more or less “Get up, stand up, get up for your life.” But the singer sort of morphed into a drill seargent, who changed the lyrics to

Get up! Time to face the new day!
Get up! You’re wasting your life away!
Get up! You lazy bum!
Get up! You slept too long!

I thought it was terribly clever and funny. I woke up and made mental note of it, and did nothing more with it.

Months later I was working on a project with a good friend. He was saying that we needed a good garage band death metal thrash punk song. I recalled the above verse, which he thought was fun. He revised it a little and wrote a 2nd verse while I came up with a riff to bang out on my guitar. A couple of hours later we had a finished recorded song. It became our greatest hit. To this day my mother quotes it back to me.

Can’t remember any at the moment, but I’ve had some. And I’ve had some where nearly waking I up said, “Hmm, jokes that seem clever in a dream often don’t make any sense awake. Let me rationally examine this… okay, it makes perfect sense.” And then of course, I wake up and I have no idea what the heck I was thinking.

I had a dream in which I came up with the idea of tattooing my knuckles the way you see people do with the words “love” and “hate,” only mine would say “Rice-a-Roni” and “The San Francisco Treat.” It seemed very clever at the time.

I also dream puns, which often involve totally made up words or made up definitions of real words.

I once dreamed that the US was at war with some unknown country, and there were missiles flying through the sky (pretty terrifying). I remember thinking to myself, “Oh, those must be the American ones”, because some were completely covered in fast food ads and logos. :stuck_out_tongue: When I told my boyfriend about the dream he said, “That’s comedy gold.”

A friend of mine was getting married and I had a dream that I kept joking to her that she was getting disengaged. In the dream, I thought it was terribly clever. Less so once I woke up.

Awesome, please make a cartoon strip of that. :stuck_out_tongue: (use a garfield strip)

Along came a spider and sat down beside her and said … “What’s in the bowl bitch?” Because she’s a hoooooahhhaa!! Ooooohugheeeeh!! (The key to your punchline might be in there somewhere :p)

You’d need a lot of knuckles. A soccer team of knuckles on the right hand, and a score of knuckles on the left. Assuming you had all the fingers to go with those knuckles, that means your left fist would weigh roughly 5 times any other man’s fist - that’s a hell of a left hook! People might bring up your poor choice of tattoos in private but they ain’t gonna say it to your face :stuck_out_tongue:

It’s quite good!

Setup: A plattoon of US soldiers was in Iraq trying advance to the cottage cheese factory, but they never got there…

One time I dreamt this doggerel in my dreams:

Welcome to Disney World
Hope you have fun
Now give us all your money
and your firstborn son.

I dreamt the setup line to a jokes once - results in [thread=514461]this thread[/thread].

I regularly crack myself up in my dreams. A few times I’ve woken myself laughing.

Here’s the weird thing, though - the funny in a joke is in the surprise, right? Or the humorous way of looking at something you haven’t thought of before. But, in a dream, it’s not like someone else is telling it. You’re telling it to yourself. Why is it still funny?

I think it’s because you’re making it up on the fly, in ‘real time’ in your dreams. It wouldn’t be funny to you if you’d thought of it beforehand.

Some part of your subconscious knows where to draw from, and picks up the line or the phrase or the word. And even then it may be hit or miss. But when it hits, it’s fun.

Why is Saddam Hussein like Little Miss Muffet?

Because they both had Kurds in their way!

Somewhat similar thread. – “Salmon is like potato famine, except you don’t have any.”

Sleep Talkin’ Man – “Bras: they’re like… booby traps.” (Usually NSFW or other living things.)

I had a dream that I got caught oogling a large group of very attractive women. And one of them comes up to me and says, “who do you think you are, staring at us like that?” And I said, “I’m King Leer.”

They didn’t get it.

/Flaming globes of Sigmund?

I don’t usually dream up jokes, but I did dream a “foolproof” way of winning at roulette. I woke up mid afternoon one time after a night shift and I told my husband I needed a 1000 dollars (we had nothing close to that on hand) so I could go and pay off the house and quit my job by close of business. Failing that I would take 100 dollars to the casino and get a good start. Patiently he drew out the details. I am vauge on it now, but somehow I felt that putting down chips on 2/3rds of the numbers would result in total win!!11!!! I would never have to work again!

He actually had to draw me a diagram and show me how I was going to lose my money. I was still insistant that he didn’t understand!!! I was going to win!!!
He handed me 20 dollars and said “If you want to go gamble for a bit, for fun go ahead. But you won’t likely be paying off the house playing roulette. Play the slots, have a free coffee and come home when you wake up. Or buy a lottery ticket. Or buy a new lipstick. Just don’t quit your job.”

He is a much nicer person than I am. He doesn’t remind me about this, or make fun of me nearly as often as this crackpot theory deserves.

Back to the OP

One dream joke I do remember is telling everyone (in a grocery store dream setting) is that the door to fairy land was in the pop aisle. Specifically in the pallat of “Sprite”.

I’ve been reading a lot of comics lately, so it’s not unusual for superheroes to pop up in my dreams. One night I dreamed of a superhero team that included a femme fatale who called herself Hard Candy. She was dressed really slutty, and her power consisted of standing in sexy poses and distracting the villains from their villainy. At the very end of the dream, she winked at the ‘‘camera’’ and announced, ‘‘Because *every *man has a weakness!’’ Roll credits.

For some reason my gradually awakening self thought this tagline was not only hilarious, but the perfect idea for a book.

While we’re on that subject, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been dreaming and thought, ‘‘This is so fascinating! I must write about this!’’ only to wake up and be very, very disappointed.