Rejoice in knowing you enjoyed a long term relationship.
I wish I had one.
@astro: Good post overall. Ref this bit …
There is a tremendous difference between a taciturn person who feels love and doesn’t say it versus somebody who doesn’t feel love and is simply content to be roommates. Or even worse, feels nothing or has negative feelings but is willing to trade that for being able to sponge off a paycheck / place to live / etc.
The challenge for the other person is to figure which of these scenarios matches their silent SO. And once they have figured it out, decide what to do in response.
I agree in this case the OP’s GF was simply a roommate marking time. At least recently; she and the OP may have a had a different relationship a couple years ago.
A sad feature inherent in two-person dynamics is the one who cares least has all the power in the relationship.
Is it possible your gf is on the autism spectrum? You don’t mention your ages, but you don’t have to be very old to have grown up completely undiagnosed.
My advice, if you decide to try and reconcile, is to make some sort of counseling part of the reconciliation process. Sounds like you both need some help with the whole relationship thing (which, btw, is probably more common than not).