The OP reads better with koolade subbed for ketchup. Yeah, flavorade, I know.
On the rare occasion we have hot dogs, I never put ketchup on the table, only mustard, even though my wife and daughter like ketchup. Then I pretend to be upset when they defile their hotdog with it. But I’m posturing, and they know I’m posturing.
Oh, and when one of them has to get up and get the ketchup, they know better than to complain. Next time, they can set the table and help out with dinner. Ingrates go hungry.
For the record, I’m a native (outer borough) New Yorker.
Yeah, I was gonna post in there, but I didn’t see the option for “proctologist”.
(Also, I was reasonably sure someone would make that joke.)
I concur with your sentiments. Chin up, Saint Cad! Ya got peeps pullin’ for ya.
I Forgot, “Tater Tots”…
I’m late to the party, and will be repeating advice given multiple times before, but perhaps the fact that I was once in your situation, mostly, will help lend weight to it. I had an unofficial foster daughter for two years, an over-19 friend of my older daughter that had a bad living situation, and needed some help. One of her many, many issues was food. She would often tell me the food I cooked made her ‘nauseous’. I made healthy food, she was used to a steady diet of chicken nuggets, etc. I did NOT take it personally, but I hadn’t cooked to order (except for special occasions) for the children I gave birth to, I sure as hell wasn’t going to do it for her. I let her know that she was welcome to eat with us at any meal we made, eat the leftovers from any meal we made, and had free access to prepare any food in our pantry or refrigerator . Beyond that? You’re on your own, sweetie, I’ve got too many things to handle in my own life to worry about your eating preferences. So, in summary, as has been said…cook what you wanna cook, when and how you wanna cook it. Place leftovers in the fridge. Deal with your own stuff, and don’t worry about the stuff of an adult you did not raise.
Lucretia, what was the outcome? Did she start cooking her own food or continue to eat yours?
Its pretty obvious that the op needs to do exactly what the son and wife tell him to do. And do it without question.
Also, he needs to go to the nearest tattoo parlor and have the word CHUMP inked upon his forehead.
For the record - everyone complained about it. Like her “famous burger” that had an assload of A1 and worchestershire sauce. It was like eating beef flavored vinegar. Her chicken had no seasoning so it was bland (maybe I should have put ketchup on it) and she regularly used the cheapest ingredient she could find despite having better ingredients in the house that she didn’t even need to buy. My son eats everything partly because he’s a human garbage disposal and the way I raised him was try two bites of something new and if you don’t like it, that’s ok and I’ll make you something else. He has found that he likes pretty much anything except things cooked with cumin and even he hated her food. So it’s more than just using Country Crock rather than real butter or a pinch of salt in her chocolate, there was something fundamentally wrong with what she cooked. At Thanksgiving, she brought over some desserts and they went untouched by everyone including her own family meanwhile the one pumpkin pie I made (nothing special, just make it like on the can) was gone yeah, pretty much everyone I know doesn’t like how her food tastes.
Tell me that he’ll be home for dinner, swear up and down that he wants to eat at home, so I make a portion for him then eat out. Since heaven forbid he eat a leftover, that’s why I started not making a portion for him unless he was home and I knew he didn’t have dinner so food wouldn’t be wasted. Last night was similar but since it was pork roast, whatever wasn’t eaten is his lunch today - if he doesn’t opt for the cup o noodles.
That may not sound the same as disrespect but one night I was not in the mood to cook so dinner was whatever they could scrounge up (my 14 year old is pretty good at that) myself included (reheated leftovers). He then bitches to his mom that I didn’t cook for him that night. Even Mrs Cad had my back on that one as in telling him WTF? You can’t cook Boyardee (his favorite - maybe THAT’S his problem) on your own even once?!
And I really don’t think it’s disrespecting my food but rather disrespecting the effort I make in making a tasty meal. I try to come up with a nice flavor profile like sage & rosemary based rub on a turkey breast and all that flavor goes to waste slathered in ketchup. And I mean the amount of ketchup on each bite is close to the amount of the bite of protein so it is not a “flavor-enhancer”. If I take the effort to make a teriyaki sauce with five-spice that at least show me enough respect to taste the food as I prepared it for YOU before you drown it in ketchup. Maybe it won’t be to your liking and once you taste it (note to self, apparently I’m the only one in the family that likes five spice" then I have no problem with the ketchup but at least respect my effort enough to taste it the way I prepared it. Now if I make a flavor profile you don’t like after you give it a fair chance, then the “everyone has different tastes” argument is fine but don’t pre-emptively assume you won’t like it the way I cooked it.
He’s like his mom where there is no understanding of the menu-planning and cooking planning so it is effortless right? The other problem is that they know I love to cook so their idea is that having me cook for them is doing me a favor.
Didn’t read through the whole thread, so I will risk being off-topic with actual advice from a long time professional chef who also gets to cook for friends and family who “have their own tastes” rather than piling on about the arrangements.
First, I don’t consider it an insult for someone to season their dish the way they like it. I do consider it somewhat rude to do so without at least sampling the unaltered dish the way it was prepared, if nothing else, I don’t know how someone would alter the seasoning to taste without tasting first. For habitual pre-seasoners, I fight this by offering small samples of the dish in it’s final stages of preparation. At least they know what it tastes like, and I have “cured” some of reaching for the salt and pepper before the fork.
Second, have you tried dishes where ketchup is just impossible, impractical or silly? I mean pastas (other than spaghetti), BBQ dishes, casseroles, tacos, Chinese dishes, or salads (a proper salad can be a proper meal). (I can think of other examples, but I’m sure you can too.)
Third approach, dinner parties. Invite some friends who DO enjoy your cooking, and cook for them. Let him attend and see how much others appreciate your work, maybe he will catch on not to take it so for granted. Let them chastise him for being rude to the host and chef, coming from a third party may give it a different perspective.
Hi, Everyone. Regular person checking in.
This guy is an asshole and needs to get over himself.
My mom used to put ketchup on over-easy eggs. She would mix it with the yolk. I tried it once and that was enough for me. Yuck!
The issue isn’t the food or the 23 year old. It’s your relationship with your wife. At the end of the day, your wife needs to decide who she is going to side with when personality issues come up. If she always sides with the stepson, you need to get out. If she wants to be the final judge in all disputes, you need to get out. If you can’t just say, “do your own cooking then”, without causing a fight, get out.
I went through almost the same thing: my 20-something stepson moved in and seemed to want be treated like an 8 year old when it suited him and like an adult the rest of the time. That wouldn’t have been so bad if every single dispute hadn’t needed to be reviewed and judged by my wife. For example, I’d task the stepson to not sleep on the sofa all day because I wanted to sit there and watch TV. He complains to mom. Her solution is to compromise: (who doesn’t like compromise?) I should plan out when I want to watch on TV, then I can tell him so he can avoid taking up the whole sofa at those times. Somehow I was being unreasonable to ask that he just sleep in the bed in his room. We needed a therapist to help us sort that out.
Didn’t your wife do something very similar with a friend of her’s? You’ve got it tough, OP.
OH yeah, I’m even more sure that the real solution here is to stop cooking for them (or divorce her for someone who’s cooked a meal or two in her life - she shouldn’t be that hard to find). Time to disabuse them of the notion that cooking for an unappreciative family every night is your dream job.
Yeah, fuck all y’all with flaws in your relationships. Only a pussy and a bitch has to put up with anything less than ideal. Women are a dime a dozen. Ditch her ass and get you one that knows how to stay in line. Bros before hos, amiright?
NM, the post was edited.
I’m late to this game, but isn’t it more work to make shitty, unseasoned food the kid still won’t eat? Why bother? You’re only punishing yourself.
Or as mentioned before, tell him he can cook what he likes and you’ll leave him to it while you cook food to your tastes.
For what it’s worth, I’ve never considered covering food in ketchup an insult. Sometimes disappointing maybe, but if it goes down, it goes down. Then again, I’ve got a 7 and 4 year old. They’ve done far worse things with their food than drown it with ketchup. I guess expectations should be higher for a 23 year old. 
Of course, Vienna Beef hot dogs–the most iconic of Chicago hot dogs–are made from whole brisket. No off cuts whatsoever.
I’ll pile on and say 23 year old kid should move out on his own. There’s a reason that eagles push their young out of the nest. Being dirt poor and having to extremely budget your money and having roommates is part of learning to be an adult. OP and his wife are doing Cad Jr. a disservice by letting him stay at home.
OP does sound a bit butthurt comparing his cooking to works of art. :rolleyes: Either cook for your step son or don’t. But if you do, who gives a shit what he adds to it to eat it.
Just out of morbid curiosity, Saint Cad, but have you bothered to read even one single post that has been made in this thread? You’ve had a whole pile of people offering advice and analysis, and all you can bother to post is more detail about your original complaint, which all of nobody was begging for. Are you going to listen to anyone, or did you just come here to whine and have a pity party?