After 2 months of what seemd like beginnings of a great realtionship, my girlfriend emailed* me today, at work no less, letting me know that its over.
Now, I’m pretty much over the feeling of being gutted with a blunt spoon (for the moment anyway) and my usual treatment of hard bike rides & lots of Futurama seems to be keeping my mind occupied.
What do my fellow Dopers do when they get into this mess? What pulls you out of the blues?
*this is wat really annoyed me - I thought I deserved better than this.
This my sound like a bad idea but it work really, REALLY well for me.
The darkest things you can find: compleatly non romance based horror; satanic violent comedy; dark, fun music (cannibul rights works well for me); hard physical work; strong black coffee with no sugar; etc. Enjoy being sick and twisted for a while! (and a bit of Tim Burton never gos astray).
If you write this is a good time to do so (same goes for other art forms) some really dark odd things can come out of your mind - leave this way! When you write it down don’t clean it up or make it sound pretty and just (if you do you will wreck it). Remember - no one will ever see it unless you want them to.
After wallowing in this for a while make yourself look really, really good and go out and get laid.
Then get back to work.
Most Important rule: DON’T WATCH ROMANTIC COMEDIES!!! that’s just suicide.
BTW, I’ve been dumped in an SMS! Now that’s depressing.
ok after reading over that I can see about 20 mistakes. just assume the obvious mistake and put it down the the fact that it’s 12:15 am and I got up early!
Do all the fun stuff you love an that your now ex-SO hated.
I was involved with this one guy for 5 years. (We were best friends for one year, dated for 2 years, and then lived together for another 2 years.) We had a lot of tastes in common, but we had our differences, too. He absolutely hated–and I mean HATED–a lot of classic soul/R&B stuff, including the Pointer Sisters, whose recordings I grew up with and loved.
So, when we broke up, guess what I did almost non-stop for almost a week? Yup–I blasted my Pointer Sisters CDs. I threw the last of his crap out to the “Neutron Dance” and redecorated to “Be There”.
Do lots of neat stuff that you can do comfortably without a date. Take up some new activity that you’ve always been interested in but somehow never did. Meet new people, go new places, do something different that appeals to you.
Oh, and I echo the advice other people have given for staying physically active.
Oh, and you could always post to the latest “I’m Single” SDMB thread. At the very least, that’ll get your mind off your ex-SO and on to other people you could meet.
I feel just the opposite, actually. I find that while happy music makes me forget about the dumping, the thoughts are still there when the song’s over. I like to listen to really, REALLY despressing music. It helps me get everything back in perspective when I listen to someone singing about something that’s worse than my own situation. Then I can move on.
Alternatively, there’s that small group of songs that are about feeling sad, but with a positive look to the future. Colin Hay’s “I’ll Leave the Light On” is a perfect example of this. These are good.
Do everything that you enjoy that s/he didn’t. Eat everything that you enjoy that s/he didn’t. Savor small personal behaviors that you avoided because they annoyed him/her. I was dumped recently and after the pain that was specifically related to rejection abated (see above) I came to realize that I am overall happier post-dump than I was pre-dump. (Go ahead. I don’t offer straight lines like that every day.)
I’ve never tried to get happy afterward. I’ve found that wallowing in self-pity until I can’t do it any more gets me there – particularly with vodka and “The Wall” (there’s no better soundtrack for an evening of sniveling misogyny).
