That Onion piece was funny, but I winced. Too much like real life.
I’m a beginning sub and have had a mostly IM d/s relationship with a nice Dom named Bob for about 6 months. But several months ago it looked like Bob was going to lose his job, and in June he did. Of course, he didn’t feel like Domming anyone for much of the time while he was in suspense, and even less like it once he actually lost his job.
Which leads me to raise the general topic - a hijack, I suppose, please forgive me, I’m only a beginner, don’t spank me too hard: the annoying way in which ‘reality’ or external life can screw up one’s bdsm sexlife.
Well, as practical matter, silk scarves rarely leave a mark, as well as being strong enogh to hold down, er…whatever needs to be kept in place.
Y/your local tack shop will have various crops of different flexibilities and lengths. Its kinda fun ‘trying out’ a crop in a store. “Oh yes, I think she’ll/he’ll really like THIS one.” May even find a sub store clerk to come home with Y/you.
Still, its more a frame of mind, and a well timed palm and fun attitude will carry Y/you far.
Does anyone know of any resources for those who are interested in sensation play without the domination/submissive/discipline frills? That is, I like a good thuddy thwacking, but not when someone is telling me how naughty I am.
Also… I’m starting to think that my partner is a Dominant Bottom, that is, likes to be in control, but likes to be done to. I have no idea how to characterize myself as I find that I too like being done to as well, but I’m not crazy about giving up control of anything (tho I do like some surprises) and I certainly get minimal pleasure from pleasing for the sake of pleasing. The problem is that I find topping to be a lot of work, physically and mentally.
Anyone have ideas for this beginner? (and yes, I’ve already read the topping & bottoming books)
Can I jump in with a question? Does “size matter” more with a typical submissive female than a <pc term for female not associated with bdsm> female? I know that there isn’t a “typical” but you know what I mean.
I don’t self-identify as a Dom but I definitley have some dommish tendencies. I have trouble staying serious enough to dom anyone for any length of time, as my homepage indicates. But lordy, I do have the Grade A fantasies …
Susan – Fwiw, one of the gentler, more feminine areas/aspects you might, or might not, find of interest as a beginner is ‘Shibari’ - type that into a search engine (there’s always rubbishy web sites to sift though, of course). Not everyone’s cup of tea but it’s been described to me as ‘flower arranging for the modern woman’ YMMV.
London_Calling, I looked at a few sites and I think I’m going to have to share some of them with my Lord.
Fun, Fun, Fun!
I like Gorean but have a hard time following since I like to put up a fuss and that is a pretty strict way of going.
YMMV.