Just how much money are members of a wedding party suposed to put out?

In My Humble Opinion
41

We’re getting married in two weeks and were having this same conversation recently :slight_smile:

We decided that we’d pay for:

  1. tux hire and bridesmaid’s dresses for the immediate wedding party
  2. food at the reception for everyone
  3. wine with the meal (two or three bottles per table)

We’ll expect our guests to pay for:

  1. extra drinks from the bar after the meal
  2. accommodation if they’re staying over
  3. travel to the various venues

All our guests know we’re tight for cash at the moment, so there’s no way we can afford a free bar all night.

One friend pulled out 'cos she can’t afford it, but that’s up to her at the end of the day.

If people really have a problem with it then they’re probably not the sort of people we want to share our wedding day anyway. :wink:

42

C’mon, we both know that’s folderol. Those poor boys had to wear Chuck Taylor high tops, too. I was there!

43

Oh, and CS has it right here (for my position, anyway. Thanks, CS!)

In short, if I require people to incur an expense, then I’m paying for it. My pride won’t let me spend other people’s money.

44

I’ve been in 5 wedding parties, been best man for 1 (the most casual). For the one I was best man in, it was in a back yard all I had to wear was a shirt and tie.

For the other 4 formal weddings I had to wear a tux. I paid for the tux out of my own pocket each time (~$140-180 CAN). For each wedding I always had a couple hundred bucks in my pocket and my Visa in case any inccidental charges came up. Some stuff I have had to buy/do on the day of the wedding:

  • buy booze for wedding party cars (twice)
  • track down a corkscrew
  • the DJ didn’t have the song for the “first dance” so I had to drive 5 minutes away, burn the song onto a CD and get back. BTW, we found this out 20 minutes before said “first dance”
  • bought take-out lunch for wedding party while waiting for pictures
  • bought roses and delivered them to bride on day of wedding
  • moved pews from inside a church across a field 200 yards away (while wearing my tux)

I was always re-imbursed for these outlays (except for my tux of course). No questions asked, most of them were minor as well so if I wasn’t re-imbursed I wouldn’t have cared either.

MtM

45

I must mention the most intelligent wedding of all time - in the hope that it influences others.

My second marriage, we had been living together for years and decided to get married and procreate. We had the wedding at the local courthouse with best friends as witnesses and immediate families only.

For the reception we booked out a restaurant for the night promising them a huge night. We then rang a few friends and told them to invite whoever they liked, partners were welcome, kids were welcome people could even invite other people. The only condition was no wedding presents but pay for your own meal and drink,

We ended up with a huge reception, that included people we hadn’t seen for years, that people still remember 20 odd years later. And not a wasted dollar.

46

Don’t Ask, that’s pretty much what hubby and I did. Wedding at the courthouse in the morning with close friends, who we then took to lunch. Then a party with catered food at a local bar that night. We didn’t reserve the bar and everybody and their brother showed up. We paid for four kegs and the food and had a great time.

My daughter-in-law had what I thought was a clever idea for bridesmaid’s dresses. She gave each of them three or four yards of beautiful fabric and they had their dresses made in whatever style they chose.

When you have bridesmaids of all shapes and sizes, that’s the only way to go. There’s no one style that’s going to look good on everyone.

47

Why that sounds just … cynical.