Just punchlines

No, I said SHIP me a ton of bricks.

I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning.

It’s a knick-knack, Patty Wack, give the frog a loan. His old man’s a Rolling Stone.

Regards,
Shodan

Same diagnosis; better HMO.

“They eat ***** and piss gasoline.”

Insert racial/national/religious/ethnic/regional/sexual/whatever slur of your choice.

Won’t matter none. Just gonna be the two of us anyway.

“And now you’re a fish!”

Ooo, you’re not gonna like Wednesdays.

No, i’m just eating ice cream.

Oh here are the pills in my other pocket. I gave you my chicklets.

“That’s OK, honey. I was just coming downstairs to kill you.”

“Because he was carbon bonded to the chicken!”

Clanggg!!!

Dung!

“Quick, Hymie - get the hammer and nails! He’s back again!”

“It’s all about the money with you Jews, isn’t it?”

I wanted the heart that’s never been used.

“Not really, but you were Prime Minister twice.”

No,sir, but you are better informed.

“Because it saves time.”