Kim Jong Un conspicuously absent from important celebration

From Slate:

Ninety-nine red balloons…

Seriously? We’re supposed to be afraid of him? Kim Jong Un is probably the least threatening ruler since Carlos the Sufferer.

And Dennis Rodman, CIA agent extraordinaire, saves the world yet again.

Kim Jong Unavailable. (Because Kim Jong Ill.)

Wait. I thought Kim Jong-Un was the oldest and that his younger brothers were named Kim Jong-Deux and Kim Jong-Trois. N’est-ce pas?

My guess: secret weight-reduction surgery. You read it here first. I’m always right, and I never lie.

Scary. I think you nailed it.

I thought he wanted to get fat because it made him look like Kim il Sung and because fat people are admired in NK. Who knows, all we can do is speculate.

The most recent story is that Kim was watching a military exercise and demanded all his generals go through the boot camp exercises as well as Kim, and Kim hurt his leg. That could be true, but that sounds like pro-Kim propaganda.

Either his grip on power is tenuous, or it is very strong. I don’t see his behavior the last month as pointing to anything but one of those two.

So far, I’d say this is the only thing we can actually determine based on the information available to us.

Only time will tell.