Try some of this stuff. It heats up very pleasantly and, well, it causes wonderful sensations.
Your on the net- there are numerous sites about improving oral technique. Try here for some ideas.
That’s my .02C.
Not for me. Oral sex isn’t anywhere near as good as intercourse. It lacks the pressure and tightness.
Myst, get her to use her hand more. She should try gripping the base, moving her hand up and down just slightly, sort of a light tugging sensation, and she “works” on you. Can’t believe I’m saying this - but it does work, at least for me.
quote:
Originally posted by Myst
Though we are both intelligent people who are aware that most men do not climax from oral stimulation alone, she feel very bad about this.
Yes I would suggest something that has worked well for me. Try pulling the hammer back. Encourgement is everything.
I’m one that doesn’t ever get there with oral sex. I love it, and I’ll happily let it continue all day, but unless I specifically focus on having an orgasm (through muscle contractions and what not), it isn’t ever going to happen.
Everybody’s different (and every body is too), and it may just be that oral sex just isn’t the best route for you. But if it is important make sure that that you’re letting her know what feels best and when/if she should do something different (sometimes, my wife finds something perfect and I could let her do that one thing for days, other times something feels great and then wears off in 30 seconds).
The important thing, above all else, is to practice, practice, practice.
I would bet a million that she is not using the hands as well as the mouth. I can’t feel anything with just mouth action. Gotta throw some hand in there or I won’t climax either.
I agree completely with Cisco. Give this a try first. But if you still don’t climax with oral, so what? Some guys do and some guys don’t. Just like some women can climax with intercourse alone and some can’t. From one female to another, your girlfriend needs to know (show her this) that it has nothing to do with her self-image or self-esteem or self-anything. She needs to work on THAT issue outside the bedroom. But you both sound very young and you can read sites (watching good oral-sex porn is even better!!!) together and learn together what feels good for both of you. By the way, Myst, are YOU learning as well in the oral department? 
Well, I have very limited experience, but just mouth (which is all I had) doesn’t get me off very easily.
However, I concur with the masses, just tell her what feels good, and above all, let her know you enjoy it, even if you don’t come.
Don’t worry about it. Everyone is different. Tell her not to worry about it. Doesn’t mean she is doing anything wrong, just you aren’t into it. Some women can have an orgasm off nipple stimulation alone, some find playing with their breasts boring.
But have her keep trying as part of foreplay. Its possible as you get used to it, and she tries new things with technique, you may discover it working.
You may want to try using your hands as well as her mouth - you probably have a lot more practice.
You’ve already received lots of excellent advice in this thread, so I’ll first just say, “ditto” to what most have suggested.
And I’ll add my lot to the growing cadre of posters who think that the mouth does not feel nearly as wonderful as a nice warm vagina. It takes a lot of oral for me to come.
So, if you gotta come in her mouth, make sure she gets her hands nice and wet and involved in the action.
And trying getting things warmed up and close to the boiling point before she even starts with her mouth. Do a little of the old in-out, in-out, then let her go down on you.
And in case it’s partly a psychological thing, like maybe you subconsciously feel guilty about sending some nasty goo down the throat of this woman you’ve put on a pedestal (I don’t know–I’m just making things up here. The point is something’s holding you back), why don’t you try masturbating together a few times, or have her watch you jack off? This might increase your psychological comfort level with shooting off in front of her and, along the way, she might get some ideas about how better to handle/stimulate you.
Ah, I wasn’t aware that using your hands was separate/distinct from oral sex. Without wanting to get too explicit or TMI, I nearly always use my hands in addition to my mouth, unless I’m doing something tongue/lip specific; ie uh… “working” the shaft of his penis with my hand/s in addition to using my lips and tongue around his coronal ridge, frenulum, meatus, etc. I guess that’s where the “extra stimulation” and “more intense orgasms” come from–combining the “thrusting” type stimulation of vaginal sex with the oral action on his head. So, he does get the pressure and tightness of vaginal sex, but also the interesting tongue stuff. I would venture to guess I can grip more tightly with my hands than I can with my vagina. As I’m sure you can tell, I’m one of the lucky (apparent) minority of women who really enjoys giving fellatio, and I’m lucky to have a partner who really appreciates it .
Out of curiosity, for those of you who feel nothing when the action is only oral on your glans, with no hands involved, are you circumcised?
The “guys I’ve talked to about this” vs “Mr. Armadillo’s assertation” bit means that I have a lot of guy friends whom I’ve discussed this situation with, but Mr. Armadillo is my first and only long-term relationship–so he’s the only one who has been a steady recipient of oral sex from me. The others are second-hand (insert rimshot sound here) information.
Apologies if that was far more information than anyone was looking for.
Peace,
~mixie
This is probably the best advice in this thread. Allow me to interject a gem of wisdom from the Kevin Smith movie Chasing Amy: “when a chick goes down on me, I let her know where to go, and what the status is. Ya gotta handle it like CNN and the weather channel; constant updates.”
And practice makes perfect. One lover performed oral on me about 20 times before I ever climaxed. However once it finally happened, there was no turning back. In fact, that same lover was later able to help me set a new personal best for number of consecutive orgasms: 12 in the space of about an hour and a half, all oral.
In the interest of the propagation of human insight, I just have to comment on the number of hits this question has had in, what, 7 HOURS ?!!?!
From now on my inquiries about the real nature of wave-particle duality, the definition of Pi in a God-altered universe, and the application of the 14th amendment in electoral disputes, will be entitled along these lines:
WEIRD THOUGHT OCCURRED TO ME WHILE GIVING HEAD–NORMAL OR PERVERTED? (VERY GRAPHIC)
(But hang in there, Myst!)
How appropriate… a thread questioning explosive ejaculation during oral sex by a guy named Myst.
Add one more guy to the list of those who doesn’t get off from oral sex. I like it and encourage it at every opportunity but then I go for what yojimboguy suggested and haul her up from there and get to a proper shagging. I’ve known some women who love giving head (God bless them all) so if they like it I let them have at it…no complaints from me I assure you. Others seem to want nothing to do with oral sex…fortunately I don’t care much so we just get on with other things and all is still good.
In the end though it as most have said. Sex is a very persoanl thing and what works for one just great doesn’t do a thing for the next person (women and men). Mostly it’s up to you and your partner to explore together. Figuringh each other out is half the fun. Have her read this thread to see that it isn’t her fault that you aren’t getting off from receiving head as it seem many guys here experience the same thing. There are PLENTY of things to do sexually to have a blast with each other and giving/receiving head is just one. Sound slike everything else is happening just fine between you two so keep on keeping on and don’t swaet the small stuff!
[sub]NOTE: I will say that for me personally what turns me on more than anything is seeing the woman getting turned on. Often giving head, while they enjoy it, doesn’t specifically seem to turn women on all that much. One woman I knew however adored giving head and got worked up just giving it…with her coming was NO problem whatsoever. This may equate to the relaxing bit as well…stop thinking about here while getting head and just try to sit back and enjoy it.[/sub]
This is a sore subject at my house too. I can relate. I hate to say it, but based on my experience, and I don’t know why this is so, it seems to be the talent of the person and not the act itself.
A brief history. My ex-wife could suck a volleyball thru a garden hose. My only problem with her was trying to hold back long enough to make a respectable showing for myself. One problem tho, she couldn’t content herself with only blowing ME. So, divorce insued and I take up with a new woman who is nicer in so many ways, but she’s one of those “lights off, under the covers and keep your eyes closed” sorta women. But I loved her, so I persevered. She had never given oral (she was married before for crissakes!) but soon became fairly proficient at it. So much so that I had to take up giving her “the warning” 'cause finishing in her mouth was just NOT an option and I’d been warned against it on pain of death.
Flash forward past many one-nighters (talented but unremarkable) to my current GF. Of all the women I’ve been with, she is THE MOST accomodating, open minded, willing, loving partner I’ve ever had. She’ll give me a BJ anytime I ask. I love this girl.
But she can’t make me come. I dunno why. It feels great. I just don’t get there. Her best friend reports the identical problem between her and her husband, despite success with prior partners.
Oh, and let me say, Hey Orange Skinner, how YOU doin’?
I’m yet another guy who doesn’t climax from fellatio. I enjoy it just fine — oh my do I enjoy it — but I don’t orgasm. Never have, not once, with any of my partners, ever, and I’m in my mid-thirties. Just plain doesn’t get me all the way there.
Methinks you’re putting too much importance on it.
uhh…
agreeing with orange skinner. (it’s called the frenulum BTW)
is she using her hand too?
could she?
(i’m a proponent of the all hands on deck school of BJ, so far, no complaints)
maybe you could just “finish” in her mouth after sex or a hand job?
if she gets tired easily it might help.
This thread is giving me a profound sense of respect for the women of the SDMB.
We’re not worthy!!We’re not worthy!!
another site that might help:
http://www.sexuality.org/l/incoming/ghaos.html
I agree communication is the key. Every guy likes it different. Some like gentle, some like rough, some like both at different times…
One tip i’ve heard is to pull the loose skin on the shaft down towards the root so it isn’t… well… loose anymore, BUT NOT too tight, that could be painful. This allows you to get at the sensitive parts easier.
and don’t neglect the other parts down there. The balls, and the strip of skin between the balls and anus and the anus itself if the man is comfortable with that type of stimulation.
Keep her teeth tucked away. That hurts.