So, as the thread title suggests, I’m a guy who has never reached orgasm from a blowjob. My girlfriend enjoys giving them and is very enthusiastic when doing so–she varies her technique, uses her hands, and acts thrilled to be down there, all of which are elements of a great blowjob in my book.
But while it does feel good, it just doesn’t seem like enough stimulation to bring me to climax. None of the other women I’ve been with have managed to get me there, either. It’s not a huge problem or anything, as I still get plenty of pleasure out of sex and have no problem climaxing most other ways. But most guys seem to think blowjobs are awesome, so I can’t help but wonder what I’m missing.
Does anyone else have this problem? And does anyone have any advice for “overcoming” this little problem?
What feels good otherwise? It must feel different, so how is it different?
In my case, I rarely orgasm during oral sex, and it’s usually because there isn’t the same feeling of pressure around the base and tightness that I get during vaginal sex or, for that matter, other… methods, shall we say, that ladies have available to them.
I have the same. Something that helps with me is to be also busy in the sex department: ie 69. Not too long a go I had a girl give oral sex for quite a while - with me feeling on the brink a few times - and once I started doing her as well, I came pretty quickly. She later said it might be a mental thing. Kissing a girl while getting oral works better, but I imagine that isn’t an option for you.
I can, but very rarely. She would really have to know what she’s doing. In fact, I can only recall three women that have been able to accomplish this. I’m pretty sure my response to all of them was something along the lines of: “How did you learn to do that?”
Everyone is different, both in the giving, and recieving. I have had women who spent half an hour trying and got nowhere and I have met a couple treasures of a woman who must be among the world champions of fellatio.
Same here and it has always bothered me and my wife. She feels as if she is doing something wrong. The problem is while oral is incredible, it just doesn’t provide enough “pressure” or “tighness” as mentioned above. It does seem that I can orgasm from oral if I haven’t had sex in a while. But if my wife combines oral with manual stimulation that is the ticket.
It seems that porn movies have got our expectations too high. For a while I felt as if there was something wrong with me because I would never orgasm during a blow job. After talking it over with friends, I find that I am not alone.
You can, trust me, and when you do it’s mind blowing if she swallows. It’s partially mental as I like the giving part of vaginal sex, and was slightly uncomfortable with just receiving. She told me to relax and knew her stuff and then it was “wow”.
A LOT of women give extremely bad and incompetent blow jobs, but they don’t know this because their partner will praise them effusively because the gesture itself is appreciated, and vaginal sex is still on the menu. Same deal with some women not telling men what they like in oral sex.
Well, after she does her thing for a bit and things are on the edge, then either use your hands on her head to control the rhythm, or stand up while she is on her knees and then thrust. This is often called ‘face-fucking”.
It’s common for guys to not climax during a variety of stimuli which would normally be associated with orgasms. The most common cause it that they’ve just been conditioned by orgasming by other means, whether it’s “death grip” masturbation, other techniques such as using the space between box spring and mattress as a sexual surrogate, or just reserving orgasm for during vaginal intercourse.
The best way to overcome this is to forego all other orgasms until your body just takes over and you end up climaxing via your play of choice, i.e. oral stimulation in the case of the OP. The key is to not cheat and orgasm via your old method before you manage it via the new way.
[sub]cred to Savage Love for this sage advice[/sub]
Hell, I don’t know. It was never my method of choice. Dan Savage reports a lot of his readers report having used this method. I suspect they stuff towels or saran wrap in there or something. Or maybe a chicken.