You’ll screw anybody? What lawfirm do YOU work for?
Why so many questions, Two Dogs Fucking?
I was playing with the rubber doll, he spit at me, so I bit his ugly head off.
Whattaya want for five dollars? Lobster?
How do you think I rang the doorbell?
Here’s one dollar for a haircut.
Sorry to come in so late on this…
“Who cares?” (For those of you familiar with the joke, I don’t endorse the “viewpoint” contained therein. I just think the joke is funny. Sue me.)
“Then why does it taste salty?” (This isn’t actually a joke, it was something that reportedly occured in a biology class. Unfortunately, I now believe it’s an urban legend. Too bad, because it’s priceless.)
Oh, leave him alone. He knowth what he’th doing.
…and he CAN… zen HE has sang-froid!
Alright already!!! I’LL do the damn dishes!!!
And when I go down, I go down in flames!!!
In that case, why were you in such a hurry at the end?
“Death…by Bunga-Bunga!”
“Forget it…you can keep the duck!”
“You’re gonna hate Fridays…”
because there’s no place like home for good eating.
“Yeah, it was good. Funny thing, though: she kept twisting my ears.”
“And I think Mommy would have, too, if the milkman hadn’t been holding her down.”
“When you pull that thing out, there better be numbers on it.”
“So I bucked one and Timbuktu.”
“No, you can’t, you can’t have it. I threw it away!”
Oops, two others…
“Well, you see, Cindy Crawford was a very bad girl…”
“Think this is good? You should’ve seen the guy with the chicken last night.”
How could I forget?..
“I going to mosey on down and get them all.”
He says he scored with all the wives in the building but one? Must be that snob in 6B.
This one is CLASSIC!!
Some others I thought were funny as hell (If you haven’t heard them and want to, drop me an e-mail. I’m not sure I want to post 'em.):
The chief was silent for a moment, then said, “Tell you what. You don’t say anything more about that sheep and I
won’t say anything more about that white child”
The man thought long and hard about how each of the women spent the money, and decided to marry the one with the biggest breasts.
“Well, remember the time you wanted to be alderman…and was short 45 votes??”
The father replied, “From the smell of his fingers, our son in law.”
Shrink: “I can clearly see your nuts.”
…because I figure there must be a pony under it.
Because there is mayonaise all over the bathroom.
I already sucked out all the cream filling.
Wow, that was my 200th post and I didn’t even notice. Woohoo. I’m less and less of a newbie every day.
/hijack
“Oh no, not another breathalyzer!”
“No, I couldn’t find her head.”
“Well then shove it up that camel’s ass so we can get out of here.”
“I thought you might want to open those beers first.”