Chalk me up with the people amazed that so many women don’t enjoy it. Do you gals get off through regular intercourse?
I’m a novice at giving oral, I’ve only done it once. I confessed this to my partner at the time, and asked for guidance. I didn’t get as much as I was looking for (she pointed at her clit, and said, “there” :smack: ), but I believe I got her off. I suppose she could have faked it, but it didn’t feel fake.
And it was much more fun than I expected! Incredibly intimate.
Conversely, I’m not much of a fan of receiving oral sex. I find it kind of boring, and am amazed at how much some guys love it. After reading this thread, I’m guessing I don’t like it because I can’t imagine it’s very fun for my partner. Which would make my earlier remark kind of ironic.
Yep, I think I agree with you. It’s oh-so-good and I never want him to stop doing it altogether, but although I find the act itself more intimate than sex, I find that the orgasm is more intimate through sex. Hard to explain, really, but while it still feels great it’s not quite the same.
Yes. Like I said, I’m very sexually responsive otherwise. If I wanted to, I could just concentrate on a fantasy in my mind and have an orgasm anywhere in minutes.
I’ve actually dated a guy who didn’t like receiving, and I could NOT believe it. Ironically, I love doing it so much that I kind of made him take it one night. (Which is really hypocritical considering how I feel about cunnilingus. He seemed to enjoy it ok, but we only did it the one time, and he never asked for it later.) He never expressed any desire to go down on me, either. For that reason, and many others, it was perfect.
Yeah, I’m one of those women who doesn’t like oral sex. I’ve also never had my ears pierced. It’s just all the wonderful hodge-podge that is me.
I meant to include this in my original reply: I don’t get the idea that oral sex is more intimate (or vulnerable) than intercourse. I’ve always felt more intimate during intercourse, when I can feel his entire body against mine, can touch various parts of him, and can look him in the eye (sometimes ;)). I guess I just don’t see how his tongue is any more intimate than his penis.
I have a question for the guys who enjoy it: SHAKES mentioned not being interested in “flavored gel,” but does it bother you if a woman cleans herself before the act with something that might leave a light scent/taste behind? When I’m in a sexual relationship, along with the condoms I like to carry packets of “personal cleansing cloths.” I won’t prevent or stop oral activity it if I haven’t had the chance to use one, but if I do have the chance I figure the least I can do is be sure I’m nice and clean down there. The product is “lightly scented,” though, and this thread now has me wondering if that might be a turnoff for some guys…?
Not only do I love giving oral sex, I love giving it more than actual intercourse. I actually went with a woman in college who didn’t like receiving oral sex, and I just couldn’t continue the relationship.
I like getting it too, but it’s not mandatory. If a woman is into it, fine, if not, no sweat. But she has to like receiving it; otherwise the relationship doesn’t stand a chance.
I’m exactly the opposite. I think being on the receiving end is the power position, whereas being the giver makes you more vulnerable and submissive. Strange, because I hate giving, but love receiving…
I give in other ways, of course, just not that particular way.
I sure do, but not as much as I used to. Back in my younger days (15 or 16), that’s all my boyfriend and I did, because I didn’t want to have penetrative intercourse. I could reach orgasm as much as three times in one night. I don’t mean having multiple continuous orgasms - cunnilingus to orgasm three separate times. Then, it was like a switch turned off in my brain, and it was YEARS before I had an orgasm from oral sex again. I could get off from masturbation and sex, but not oral. Thankfully, my husband was willing to keep trying. It’s been a while since I’ve come from oral, though. Our son is six weeks old, and I had ZERO libido while I was pregnant. It wasn’t too great before then either (anti-depressants are a bitch). But even if I don’t reach orgasm, the sensations are very pleasant (so long as his whiskers are the right length).
Count me as one of the guys who loves going down on a woman, and, yes, I would absolutely refuse to use a flavored gel. One of the hottest parts of giving it, for me, is the taste of my girlfriend. I hate it when she insists on “cleaning up” before I can go there. I’ll still go down, of course (there’s no way I’m ever going to pass on the opportunity), but I’d rather not taste soap, or smell milk and lavender.
It is a very intimate act, and that’s part of what makes it so. I want to experience you, not some squeaky, homogenized image that’s afraid to admit to being a woman. It’s just as bad, even if the cleanser leaves no residual smell or taste of its own, if it washes away all the natural flavors and scents one would normally expect to find there. That’s about as erotic as licking a photograph.
I find that people (women, at least) are generally cleaner than they think they are. As long as you bathe regularly, there isn’t going to be anything gross about it. Hell, I still think giving it’s great even if my girlfriend has just finished working out (Mmmm…slippery naked girl…). Besides, washing tends to wash away the natural lubricants as well, and even though the person doing the kissing is providing some moisture, it goes a lot better if there’s already some there to work with.
I’m quite fond of the activity, but I’m also definitely in the camp of “if you aren’t spraying sperm on the sheets from sheer turnon while you’re down there don’t bother” camp. If I can hear a guy thinking about what he’d rather be doing I’m so not gonna enjoy it.
I’m horribly spoiled because my SO is a pussy eatin’ fool. Ate girls for YEARS before he ever had intercourse, still pretty much prefers going down to anything else and he always comes at least once while he’s macking on my girl bits… He’s a lot of fun…
He didn’t like receiving oral before I came along, but I figured out he just has a high pain threshold and if the touch is too light it just gets annoying to him. I’m more the rough and tumble kinda girl, so when I decided I was tired of him pulling my head off him I smacked his hands away, gave him a warning nip to let him know I wasn’t kidding around and proceeded to send him off like a rocket. There’s something so sweet about a guy who’s just seen god for the first time courtesy of a deep throat–very special moment, really. I may not have been his first for most things, but I sure have THAT trophy on my mantle!
Then again, he was the first to get me on the G spot and cause me to flood the bed–he’s infernally good at it, too, which is why I have to be firm about keeping towels in the bedroom… and behind the couch…
I’ve had oral from others since we’ve been together, but I tend to take a pass usually–I know nobody’s going to know my anatomy and rhythm like my guy so why settle? I like the way girls go down, though, it’s so different it doesn’t trip off my comparison circuit…
Who the hell am I trying to kid, anyway? Yup, I like it a LOT!
There are a couple of people before who’ve already pretty much given my answer… I was a “technical” virgin for much of my pre-married days, so having oral sex performed on me was the ultimate in what all I could get. As a result of not getting to the actual penetrative intercourse until I was 24, I had to completely re-learn how to orgasm. So, combine that with me loving the power trip of giving rather than receiving, I’m another one who prefers not to do without it (especially if it’s just for occasional reciprocity) forever, but can go for periods of time and not really think much about it.
Oh, and I have had a partner or two who gloats. Talk about a turn off!
Seconded on all counts! Although in my case, it used to be one of the FEW ways I could get off, and I couldn’t during regular sex. Within the last year or so, I’ve flip flopped. No clue why.
The guys I’ve known seem to like doing it, so I have no problem letting mine down there, but if I was told that he didn’t want to head south of the border anymore, I wouldn’t shed any tears.
When I’m in the right mood, I LOVE it, and my husband is very, very good at it (and he’s very, very into it).
Still though, no matter how many times I come (and sometimes I can lose count) I always want to finish with sex- for me nothing can come close to coming when he does, while we’re having sex, which is the way sex usually ends for us.
Your continued refusal to be confrontational concerning men who hypothetically won’t do what you want does you much credit, DianaG, but I wonder how far I’d’ve got in my dating years if I’d told my girlfriends “If you won’t go down on me, that proves you’re a lesbian”. :dubious:
I’m not entirely certain what you mean by the first part of your post, Malacandra, since my advice to the OP was to discuss the issue with him, but as to the second? Well, I’m guessing you wouldn’t have gotten any more or less head than you were getting anyway.
You’re right, of course, that finding pussy unpleasant doesn’t make a guy gay. It does make him undateable, though, as far as I’m concerned. It strikes me as a bit ridiculous to say “Y’know, I enjoy sex with women, except that I really don’t like pussies. Damn, those things are gross.”
You can change the sentence above to include “men” and “dicks”, and it’s equally ridiculous. I also don’t know any women who consider male genitalia “icky.” Perhaps I just run with an especiallly well-adjusted crowd.
Perhaps you do. I personally am all over the pussy, but I can sorta sympathise with the POV of someone who didn’t think genitals of either sex were anything to get up close and personal with - that penes and vaginae were happily designed not to find each other icky, and that you needed no closer contact to have plenty of fun times.
As for me, secure in my heterosexuality, I just wish Mrs M liked receiving the way she used to about ten years ago - and, for that matter, liked giving a whole heap more. I do recall an ex-SO whom I was not really happy to carpet-munch, but then she was a tad slatternly and never smelled quite right to me. shrug
