Ok, after some inquiry about her with a friend this evening I discovered that she’s an avid golfer, that she is a part time runway model, and she is for sure the manager at this store. She is definitely a level headed girl and in speaking with her last night I discovered she is also interested in a career in pediatrics and is in college full time for such. Based on that, it helps explain a little more as to why she would say she doesn’t have any time to date…she really doesn’t.
I’ve got enough info that I could easily strike up a light 10 minute conversation if I dropped by her job. I guess she wouldn’t mind if I came by considering she did tell me where she works and when. So skip the flowers, cards, etc. I’ll just go by maybe tommorow evening after work and see if she’s there…if she is, I’ll just be myself and hope that does the job.
Oh yeah, and so you’ll know why she caught my eye, if Kate Hudson has a twin, this girl is her for sure. They look almost identical.
I think if you’re going to show up at work to surprise her, you should do it around quitting time. Have a place already picked out and invite her for a quick “ten minutes, tops” cup of coffee. Work up from there. Explain that you know she doesn’t have time to date, but everyone could use another friend, right?
Show up. This is a perfectly acceptable way of meeting between us folks in our 20s… I have done it many many times, and it always leads to a date after a couple tries. At the very least you make a friend (and folks in retail are always looking for friends to drop in at work, because they secretly hate their job )
I always tell women to say they aren’t free to date in order to be proper when a guy is interested in them. She said that didn’t she? Wonder how its going to turn out?
Also, shouldn’t you be talking to her about herself instead of her friends?
Personally, I love flowers and I always love receiving them. Stick with a mixed bouquet, no roses or such just yet. The girl was definately give you the go ahead when she told you where she works. It is a safe environment for her just in case you turn out to be some sort of psycho. (you’re not are you?)
A nice gesture would be to have the flowers sent first thing in the morning to give her something to think about all morning. The wording on the card might be better if it read “from the guy who would like to take you to lunch instead, I’ll be there at noon” It’s non-threatening and puts your intentions out front. It also gives her an out is she really is not interested. Then show up at lunch time and offer to take her to a low key but nice place. You sound sweet and charming and sensitive. Now if you just not a psycho-stalker you’ll be alright.
One more tip. It’s true topic most people love to talk about is themselves.
I agree with the spirit of this, but I’d like to throw in a cautionary note. Don’t say anything even remotely resembling “we don’t have to date – I just want to be friends”. You want to date this woman. (And should, from the sound of it.)
Be friendly and low pressure. This gives her the opportunity to date you if she wants, or just be friends if she doesn’t. But don’t preemptively put yourself in the Friend Zone.
The fact that she mentioned both where she worked and when she’d be there sounds to me like a signal. Just show up, be relaxed and funny, ask her if she’d like to do something sometime. (You can ask to do something specific, or just say “hey, do you want to have coffee some time?”) If she gives you the “I-don’t-date” business again, you can say you think she’s interesting and would enjoy getting to know her better, even if it’s just as friends. See what she does with that. If she brushes you off again, let it go.
No matter what, though, take this opportunity. You’ll be glad you did it, no matter how it turns out. (Unless there’s Mace involved.)
I’m going against all the advice you’ve been given so far, SkySlash.
IMO, it would be terribly rude to just show up at her place of employment unannounced, even though she told you where she worked and when she’d be there. Think about this for a moment…
Perhaps she wants to see if you’re interested enough to take the intiative to look the phone number up and call her there at the time she said she’d be there. A lot of women don’t like giving out their home phone numbers to men they’ve just met, but feel more comfortable if a man calls them at work (where there’s safety in numbers if you turn out to be a stalker or something). I’ve often given my business card to men who’ve expressed an interest in dating me, but just because the address is on it in addition to the phone number, that’s not an invitation to just show up there!
Please, do not show up at her work without calling first! For all you know she could be in the middle of doing an inventory or assisting a customer, which would leave you wandering around like a fool until she’s free, and worse yet, making her feel uncomfortable - like she has to hurry because you’re standing around waiting for her.
Please, please phone her first. Re-introduce yourself and ask if it’s ok to have phoned her at work and if this is a good time for her to speak for a minute or two. Be very clear that you don’t intend to keep her hanging on a personal call chit-chatting at work. Then be as brief as you’ve promised you’d be and ask her if she has time and/or would be interested in meeting you for a cup of coffee when her shift is over. (Then she has her own car and can leave on her own without getting into a car with a man she’s only just met.)
If she’s not free, but says she’d like a rain check, give her your number so that the ball will be in her court.
Please don’t keep us in suspense. We’re dying to know how your phone call went and if you managed to finagle a date from your dream-girl. Scoop. We want scoop!
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