Let me get this straight -
I’ve known a woman for some length of time, as an acquaintance or friend.
One day I privately confess to her that, "I sometimes rub my dick and think about you."
And, um, this presumably wouldn’t offend…who?
Again, it’s all in the context–well, most of it is.
Entirely random guy at a party or something? :eek: Yes, even if he was supa-foxy. I’d assume he was just being an ass anyway.
Someone at work (well, class for me, I guess)? Still, probably a big fat :eek:. While such a comment is flattering at its very core, the ill manners and boldness required for a guy to say it would be a major turn-off. I mean, who really wants a guy who walks up to a girl he barely knows and tells her his eyes are full of visions of her as he chokes the chicken?
A friend saying it out of the blue? Again, a major turn-off. About the same scenario as above, except that it would more than likely negatively affect our friendship for reasons I hope I don’t need to explain.
A good friend saying it in the context of a mature discussion? OK, this just may be different. If I’m comfortable with him and the comment fits into the topic at hand rather tightly, he just may get away with it, and I’d probably even be a little flattered. It would probably change my feelings about him a bit, though.
A short-term B/F? Like above, if it fits with the conversation, it can probably slide, and would more than likely be flattering. Out of the blue? Not cool.
Long-term B/F who I know well and trust? Tell me all about it! 
First I’d laugh. Then I’d whip off all my clothes and let him get a good look at this pitiful bod of mine and totally ruin any of his future trips down fantasy lane.
I think this guy had issues! LOL
This has happened to me. Three times to be exact. The last time it happened it ruined a great friendship. In fact, he’s just now started talking to me again and I’m not sure how to handle it.
When I was younger it didn’t bother me, in fact it was flattering. Now I just wonder why he didn’t keep that tidbit of information to himself.
Definitely depends on the guy. If it were the old perv in the office next door I would be skeeved out and run to the EEO office. If it were the cute guy down the hall that likes to come in and flirt - I’d probably blush and be kind of flattered even though I wouldn’t want it to go any further. Either way, if there were nothing at all between us, I think I would wonder why he told me.
It IS fun! 
That said, I think the creepiness of telling someone about it “cold” is that there’s a vaguely nonconsensual element to it … you’re inviting them to share in your sex life in a way, as a sort of co-conspirator in their sex fantasies, without first having gotten some indication from them that they’d be interested in doing so.
I had women say it to me lately & I thought it was neat! But then Im a guy.
I would never say it to a strange woman directly. More like something subtle. You know, like say, ‘you’re nice to think about’ 
Yep. I agree, very creepy. I’m under the impression that most men have fantasized about most women that they know, at one time or another. Which means that men I know have probably fantasized about me. As long as that remains in the abstract - as long as I don’t know who, when, under what circumstances, and so on - it’s okay.
Once you tell me, though, what the hell am I supposed to say?
“Gee, thanks! How flattering! Take me now!”
or
“Thanks for sharing. Hey, have you seen this month’s sales figures?”
I agree with the good Mr Captor: it is a nonconsensual act, forcing me to become (IRL as opposed to in your fantasies) part of your sex life. I’m not interested, unless you have a very good reason to believe that I am, like, us lying naked in bed together.
It’s happened to me too. A friend of mine that is dating another friend has said this to me many times, as well as continually asking me if I like him, if I’ll go out with him, that he thinks I’m beautiful, asking me to sleep with him, etc. I had a guy masturbate on the phone with me completely with no warning (we had been going out two weeks). I also had two other guys allude that they masturbated while thinking of me. If I liked the guy, I would be quite flattered (but would only act stoic) but since I’ve not liked the guy in every case, it’s just been creepy.
I doubt any guy would be too offended if a girl told him. It is TMI though.
How’s that Vixenation? I was able to type that out one-handed!
I’ll be the odd one out. I am completely, utterly, apathetically, unoffended by it, or someone saying such a thing, even if it was a coworker. In fact one of my coworkers has openly suggested as much and it didn’t bother me in the slightest. It’s not like he’s doing anything directly to me.
One of my ex-bfs makes jokes about it from time to time, and one of my buddies has admitted something similar. I would be surprised if some of my other friends hadn’t at some point, since most of my friends are male and I am very flirty. I don’t ask them about it, but I wouldn’t care if they mentioned it if they felt a need to.
'Course, I’ve also had complete strangers say as much regarding the photographs of me and even some of the artwork :eek: on my website, so maybe I’m just dulled to it.
My motto is, “As long as they wait until I’m out of the room to actually do anything, it’s all good.”
Unless it was someone I had at least a flirtation going with (even just a joking flirtation that we both knew was going no further), I think I’d be a bit creeped out. Not offended, really (I’m not offended by typical things), just wondering why someone would share it. Yes, ultimately at its core it’s a compliment, but that’ not the first compliment you give someone.
If a coworker that I only had a professional relationship with told me that he thought about me when he masturbated, he’s got a major problem with what is considered appropriate workplace behavior. Again, I wouldn’t be offended, but I’d seriously consider going to HR.
Why, NurseCarmen! :eek:
I’m not sure what the right word is for how I’d feel. I do know what the guy who told me that would feel though.
He’d feel a big smack to the head from my husband! haha And maybe a kick to the shin from me!
You know how (in a perfect world) Mommies tell their kids that it is okay to touch themselves there, but that it is a private thing? Yeah. I rarely want to hear about my husband’s masturbation habits, let alone anyone else’s. (Although he loves to tell the story about the time I came home unexpectedly and walked in on him, and I calmly asked, “Can I help you with that?”)
Being told someone has “fantasized” about you could possibly be flattering in the right context. Being told someone has “masturbated while thinking about you” has connotations of stalkers, peeping toms, and obscene phone callers. Neither situation should ever be discussed in the workplace for the love of god.
And now I’m wondering how I’m going to enjoy lunch while wondering if coworkers have masturbated while thinking about me. :eek:
My husbands best friend once told me that he fantasized about me whilst having sex with his girlfriend, and that he had accidentally called out my name while they were doing it!
To top it all off, he then said that his girlfriend wasn’t happy with me at all, because she had assumed we were having an affair - WTF?
He said all this in a really matter of fact tone as well, having popped round one afternoon for a coffee (while hubbie was at work). I was mortified. I tried to laugh it off, but I could feel my cheeks flaming, and I couldn’t get him out of the house quick enough! This guy was really like a brother to me, and I just felt really creeped out to think that he had been thinking like that.
I avoided him like the plague for a couple of months, but slowly we started talking again, and he’s never mentioned anything like it since (and funnily enough, his girlfriend has never mentioned it either). I’d actually forgotten all about it until I saw this thread!
I wouldn’t be offended, but it would certainly tell me everything I need to know in any situation about the man confessing. They would have to do an awful lot to gain their credibility back after that. And I’d tell–A LOT of people, so there is that to consider.
I have to wonder if the OP is considering doing this, or is just asking out of curiosity…either way-shudder
Definitely depends on the person. If I’m sleeping with them, then it’s not creepy. Otherwise, holy hell let me out of there.
Man, even thinking about it in the abstract is creeping me the hell out.
Another “it depends on the situation” reply here.
From a coworker, I think it’d be way inappropriate (and thus disconcerting, if not creepy) unless we’d already become long-time off-work friends in addition, in which case it would fall under the “friends” category below.
From an acquaintance, I’d find it mildly disturbing, although as long as it was said in a non-threatening manner I don’t think it’d freak me out or make me never talk to him again.
From a close friend, as long as the information was not divulged in such a way that it sounded like a demand or like he was pressuring me for something, I’d find it (in a couple of cases, have found it) incredibly flattering. Then again, the crowd I run with isn’t shy of expressing sexual feelings and fantasies, so YMM definitely V.