So you’re single (perhaps per usual, perhaps again) and have recently met a new guy, Peter, who is handsome, clever, charming, and digs you. After dating for whatever length of time seems appropriate to you, you – not y’all, you singular*–are ready to make the beast with two backs, something Peter has not been pressuring you for. Oh, you’ve done stuff together, and you’ve been quite happy with Peter’s hands and tongues; you just want more. When you broach the subject, Peter tells you that he is warm for your form and all, but you need to know that, for whatever medical reason, he requires pharmacological assistance to become appropriately stiff.
How put off are you by this revelation?
I’m definitely gonna do a poll on this one, and for obvious reasons the results will be private. Wait for it or not; that’s your call.
Everybody makes typos. To punish you for being so crass as to point mine out, I have directed a throttle-bot to track down both Christian Bale and Christopher Nolan and punch each in the nose three times.
That’s what I was going to say I might not care about what his dick can or cannot do.
Seriously though, at this point in my life I wouldn’t care that much, as long as he didn’t keep talking about it / making a whole big deal of it. If he had a sense of humor about it and just treated it as another thing one might need meds for, no big whoop.
Seriously, I wouldn’t care, as long as he was cool with it. Lack of confidence in the bedroom can be rectified. Whininess or complaining or constantly harping on it would be a dealbreaker.
I mean, it’s not that different from me using a vibrator, and he better not get on my case about that.
a. this chemical assistance actually reliably worked at least most of the time;
b. Peter was okay with this himself. I think men can be sensitive about their bedroom performance. So I wouldn’t want it to have negative impact in the sense that he got really wound up about it or insecure about it so that everything started revolving around the state of his penis.*
As a dude who’s been in this situation, the ladies in my life were quite understanding. They knew it was an issue, but I never announced when I was taking a pill, so most of the time the issue had no effect on them and they wouldn’t have known if I didn’t tell them. Once in a rare while sex would catch me off guard and I would try and fail and say “guess I have to take a pill, let’s try again in an hour?” But mostly it didn’t come up.
I’ve heard of women thinking it was wrong somehow to use viagra. Mostly in pop culture, though, not real life. “This is 40” had a scene where the wife was angry her husband (Paul Rudd) used it, and in Trailer Park Boys Randy says to Mr. Lahey, “I don’t want a pharmaceutical boner! I want a boner made from love!”
In real life, women I’ve discussed this with don’t care. They want to do you, and erectile dysfunction is a huge bummer for them in that situation too, so they’re just happy you’ve figured out a solution to the problem.
And that you’re cool about it. I have told the story before about the premature ejaculator I knew. What bothered me was not the coming quickly but the way he reacted to it - blaming me for it*, and getting all defensive about it and mad. If he’d been cool about it we could have done other things and tried again later.
*He claimed he’d lost his boner because I didn’t turn him on. But the evidence was right there!
Have been in this situation and really didn’t care … but some part of me sort of wanted to know when it was ‘natural’ and when it was ‘pharmaceutical’. It wasn’t hidden but I never knew if he had popped a pill or not.
I don’t know enough about the functions of men and drugs and would have liked to be curious to ask more … but did not want to be asking questions that might imply I wasn’t happy with the situation. You know: curiosity killed the cat, hardly wanted curiosity to kill the … !!
The relationship and sex was truly amazing … so if it was based on drugs … oh YES … more!
I might not care about what his dick can or cannot do.
