And of course we women never try to change the way our man dresses, do we?
I never have, no.
You females are all waaaaayyy to defensive about this. I sense a very high Frigidity Quotient on this thread, overall.
I also sensed a bit of a tongue-in-cheek tone to the OP. And like many seemingly outrageous threads around here, it was probably half-serious…but only half-serious.
It’s not a totally unreasonable request. The OP could be more tactful about it…but it’s not that bad a thing to wish for/fantasize about. I wish my wife did more sexually tantalizing things just because I like them, and not just because they’re convenient and/or comfortable. Where do you draw the line when balancing your own wishes and desires with your SO’s? If he completely suppresses his desires, he’ll end up making himself miserable and resentful.
It’s been stated above, but I’ll echo: I do all kinds of things that are exceedingly unpleasant or inconvenient for the express purpose of making my wife happy. And as much as I dearly love her, I’d have to honestly say that those self-sacrificing actions come from me more often than the other way around. I almost never expect her to inconvenience herself for my happiness…it wouldn’t feel right. I don’t really mind, doing that because to me, that’s basically the function of the husband: to keep the wife happy. The wife…well, I don’t know what the wife’s purpose is. But most of us men are willing to bend over backwards for some reason or another.
Seriously girls…calm down. Too much of the “She said she didn’t want to and no means no” argument can backfire. It may apply to a non-consesual sex situation, but not to favors between husband and wife. And if it does apply then, I’ll remember that the first no stands when I’m asked to do the dishes a second time. I find it unpleasant and degrading, and I shouldn’t have to do it if I don’t want to.
There’s a fine line between looking out for one’s self and selfishness.
Not at all, we’re just all man-hating lesbians on the rag.
I see a lot of women in this thread willing to compromise. I also see this thread heading off to the Pit in the near future.
Frigidity? Are you kidding? His wife wants to put on something comfy after a long day (I assume at work, I don’t know for sure of course) and he suggests a lace bustier and panty hose? If she’s worn panty hose all day at work, then the very first thing she wants to do is TAKE OFF the panty hose! Not lounge around in them!
Bustiers aren’t exactly comfortable, either, pal. They’re tight. Most of them have “stays”, or are boned. Stays are long plastic or metals pieces that keep its shape and make you skinny in the waist and shove your boobs up and give you cleavage. It makes it hard to just freaking breathe while you wear the damn thing.
They’re fine for playtime, but not for hanging around or watching TV.
Spiff’s rules to live by, number 256:
Never take gift-giving advice from someone named Dung Beetle, especially if it’s advice about gifts for females.
I am female. I was just kind of wondering what he was going to do after buying his wife what she doesn’t want.
An additional rule: Anyone who thinks women actually lounge around in bustiers and fishnets watches too much porn.
There’s a world of difference between choosing to do various things you don’t necessarily enjoy because they make your partner happy, and trying to emotionally blackmail your partner into doing a specific thing they don’t enjoy because it makes you happy. In the latter case, you’re not giving the other person the freedom to choose how they try to make you happy.
If someone feels their partner doesn’t do nice things for them as a general rule, that’s a totally separate (and serious) issue. The way to fix it is not to demand a single, specific action as compensation. However, there’s nothing in the OP that indicates this is the case.
Well at least you’re honest… 
AUDILOVER –
Huh. You see defensiveness, I see women frankly giving their opinion when asked to do so. Nor do I see any woman posting here saying anything about sex or sexuality. But then, I do sense a very high Knuckledragger Quotient in your post, overall. You’re the kind of guy who thinks being asked to do the dishes (the same dishes he assumably eats off of) is “degrading.” You’re the kind of guy who finds the things he must do to make his wife happy to be not just “unpleasant and inconvenient” but “exceedingly” so. You’re the kind of guy who thinks pulling your weight in terms of routine daily chores is the equivalent of being asked to frequently “lounge” around in uncomfortable, cold scanties because your SO thinks you look “better” that way. You’re the kind of guy who thinks his wife must have a “purpose” in your marriage but, gosh, you’re just not sure what that purpose is.
And you’re critical of our advice?
This is why I secretly worship Jodi. Or used to, anyway. (Lousy blabbermouth fingers…)
Hmm… my husband seems to think I’m unbearably sexy even when I’m wearing my 14 year old t-shirt nightgown from college and my hair’s a mess. He’s the envy of his freinds because he somehow still manages to have sex regularly, despite being married. I’d wear lingerie if he wanted, but he’s really more interested in getting me out of my clothes than into any particular ones. Interesting, that…
Maybe if you weren’t so critical of her appearance, she’d be a bit more willing to get out of the “lounge” clothes for you. “Ya know, I really don’t like you the way you are” isn’t really the best seduction technique.
[sub]don’t ask how I remembered that thread…[/sub]
I agree that not wanting to lounge around in hose and a freaking bustier does not a frigid feminazi make.
My X had this obsession with seeing me naked. Which wasn’t a problem, of course, as long as it wasn’t freezing in his apartment, or I wasn’t actually doing something active (I’m sorry, but if you’ve got anything more than an A cup, doing housework and other slightly active activities in the buff can get a wee bit uncomforatable). He also hated one particular shirt I was fond of.
So, tossing the shirt? Not a problem. He got rid of many a shirt at my request. Lounging around a freezing apartment naked? Not so much.
There’s a difference between wanting your partner to do something they may not particularly like (such as tossing a beloved article of clothing) but isn’t harmful to them, and wanting your partner to do something that makes them physically uncomforatable and overall, miserable.
That’s just selfish and somewhat cruel.
Buy her some pretty pajamas. Leave the bustier and hose for playtime. That’s what they’re meant for.
And lay off the porn, it’s putting all kinds of crazy ideas in your head. 
If you want to talk about “degraded”, I think the wife will feel pretty degraded having to sit around freezing and uncomfortable for hours just so her husband can leer at her.
If he thinks she’ll be in the mood for lovin’ after this he’s in for a rude surprise.
hlanelee? What do you think?
I am now on a new mission. I will seek out and find red pajamas of a fleece variety with a low-cut neck-line, maybe with frills around it. I won’t need precision measurements, she’s about 5 feet and about 100 pounds, I can guess. She will look good, I can see her now in my minds eye. She will approve and will wear them. Life will be good and the world will turn on greased grooves!!!
Great, all she’ll need is Rudolph and a sleigh.