Large Breasted Girlfriend.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I don’t have a real question per se, but I have a discussion started that I thought I’d throw out there for all of you dopers out there:
I’m a high school senior (for 8 more days!) and I have this interesting situation: My girlfriend has unusually large breasts. They are not completely unproportional, but needless to say, they do draw attention. What bothers me is all my friends and aquaintances, upon seeing her, tell me they understand exactly why I’m going out with her. It really pisses me off too. All her ex’s were the same way, and I feel almost as if I’m the first guy to ever look at her as a person. She responds to me as if this is also a completely new concept. To tell the truth, I’ve never been drawn to really large breasts, and it was purely her personality that snagged me. It really hurts though to have friends (or those who claim friendship) to try and strip our relationship down to mammary obsession.

What are the points of view of the other dopers out there?

2

Well, as a man who suffers from “mammary obsession” as you term it, I think I can help.

If I didn’t know you (and, in fact, I do not), I might assume that that was at least a tiny factor in your decision to date this woman. No one is entirely free of physical attractiveness as a factor in selecting a SO, except maybe Jesus, who never dated anyone and thus completely ruins our case study. But if you say it’s because she has a great personality, I believe you… to a point. Luke, check you feelings. You know it to be true. Look me in the virtual eyes and say that physical attractiveness doesn’t matter to you. I’m not trying to persecute you, just attempting to throw in a different perspective.

3

Whoops! I cut myself off prematurely. Here’s the rest:

You’re human (I’m assuming). So am I. So are a lot of people I know. We all do it. That doesn’t make it right, but that does make it human.

4

Breckinshire, I don’t think that muffinman is saying that physical attractiveness is not a part of the relationship. Nor is he saying that being attracted to large breasts is in itself wrong. He’s commenting on the fact that everyone assumes the main reason he asked her out and the main thing he finds attractive about her is her large breasts. When in fact, the thing he is attracted to is her personality.

I know how you feel. I once dated a woman with large breasts, and it made me feel cheap when someone made a similar comment to me about why I was dating her. I felt the same way. That’s not why I was dating her - whether she had large ones or small ones, I still would have dated her for who she was.

I’m not obsessed with large breasts. I look at a lot of other things about a woman to decide if I’m interested and whether to ask her out. Sure, I don’t mind them large, even admire them large, but frankly I know a lot of beautiful women who have small breasts - in fact some of the most beautiful women I’ve known had B-cups or smaller. If she happens to have large breasts, that may catch my eye, but she can be flat-chested and get my attention without much effort, too.

Muffinman, I can sympathize. Don’t have any advice, but I understand.

5

if you like the woman, don’t worry about what others think. typical males in their high school years don’t get the chance to see the inner beauty of a woman. Puberty makes that a little rough. Besides, there’s nothing wrong with physical attraction, it’s how the whole process begins, so my advice would be, don’t worry about the breasts, enjoy them while you can, and remember them fondly should they ever dissapear from your life. I have many fond memories myself, and am now in a steady and intensely serious relationship with a pair i find myself excited to want to spend the rest of my life with. And the woman they come along with. :slight_smile:
what i’m trying to say is, don’t worry about what others say and think, do what’s in your heart, and if she’s mature enough to see you for who you are, then you’re both lucky people. Otherwise, just look at all of this as a learning experience, and delve into the mystery that cleavage has to offer young lads such as yourself.
fin

6

I have been there brothers. The main problem with women with large breasts is that they know it. Its the same thing with a very pretty female. Both are basically oggled, and then hit on a lot. The fact they are attractive would be hard to miss (althought the some of the cute ones forget that at times).

In all honesty . . . You have to see her as an equal, whether she has a bigger chest than you or not. Other than that, I suppose large chests are ok.

Heh-heh.

7

You seem like a decent guy muffinman, I’m sure your GF respects you for looking at her as a person rather than a walking pair of boobs. As for your cynical friends, I will echo the advice offered by soulsling and say: try not to let it bother you (easier said than done).

Breckinshire, I agree that physical attractiveness plays a part in selecting a significant other, but sometimes you just fall into a relationship without much active selection on your part. I was not initially attracted to my high school girlfriend, who’s physical appearance was unspectacular, but we ended up talking, becoming friends, dating, and eventually committing to a relationship which lasted more than a year. It sounds strange, but the physical attraction part didn’t happen until after I got to know her a little better. I’d say that the only reason I dated her in the first place was her personality, not her looks.

-JB

8

Whoo. I can understand her hesitation in believing it. I have a hard time with that myself, a lot of times. It seems to contribute to a lower self-esteem, believe it or not. All the models have A- or B-cups, and tiny waists (and no curves, and frequently ugly faces, but that’s off-topic). People say they like big breasts, women say they want them, but… well, I can’t wear sports bras. If I want one that fits, I have to send away to the UK!!! And if men want a woman with big ones, how come they SEEM to want Big Ones with (preferably, maybe) a female attached?

I get this a lot. I just got properly measured to find out my -real- bra size. That in itself is a long story involving idiots in stores on commission who are intent on selling ‘normal’ sizes to ‘abnormally’ sized women, but I digress. I’m a 34, between an H and I cup.

Men do tend to ogle them. I have literally had to tell some males that ‘they don’t talk’. I’ve even gone so far as to pretend to name them and introduce them to men who insisted on talking to them. Now, I have no problem with being looked at - I like it. My cleavage is there to be attractive, as far as I’m concerned. But it’s not the only thing I want them looking at, and it’s upsetting when they do that.

It also makes me feel less … human? Than other women. See, there are more than one kind of self-esteem. My body is fine, and I’m fine with it. I work out with dumbbells, I dress well, and I’m happy. But it’s the self-esteem about me that I have problems with sometimes. And men who can only look at my breasts don’t help that, in any way. It’s hard to see your own worth when other people can’t see past the bosom to the heart underneath.

The fact that you can, and do, see your lady as a woman (or girl, considering both (assuming) your ages) is a wonderful thing. Make a point of it. Tell her the other ways in which she is beautiful to you.

As for everyone else, you can feel free to call them on their shallow natures. Call it outright. Tell them about her beauty in other ways - spread the word, so to speak. You never know, maybe they will start to see her - and you - in a new light. Of course, that’s the brutal up-front method which could cause arguments and such. You could just talk about the good things about her without calling them shallow and avoid that part (I’m confrontational sometimes). grin

-Elthia

9

I also must weigh in as a man who suffers from “mammary obsession”, though not necessarily size so much as their overall appearance. But I think looks mean nothing if you don’t find the person to be special on the inside as well. muffinman, I think you are a decent guy and there is not a whole lot you can do about the jerks and insensitive people in the world. If you consider some of these insensitive people as friends, you may want reconsider the friendships. Sometimes you have to overlook the flaws in your friends, but sometimes you just have to get different friends.

10

HEY! Don’t sweat the small stuff. Men, running mainly on hormones whenever a lady walks by, are not known for tact, good taste or brains when among other men. (I once got fired from a job in construction because I did not hoot, whistle, discuss the potential of ‘sweaty, lathered up snatch’ and various, and often improbable, sexual acts each time a woman walked by. They thought I was gay – which I’m not.)

Let them talk, so long as you don’t feel the same way. Who cares? YOU probably are the ENVY of them.

I know guys who get all pissed off if other guys look at their women when they are out. One guy I met did not. He stated that he loved it when guys ogled his girl because it indicated that THEY wanted HER BUT she was with HIM and that made him better than them.

I found that statement profound. Let 'em look and admire and make comments – and enjoy them because you two are together and you both know the REAL reason.

11

[minor highjack]Ya know I really love big boobs as long as they’re somewhat symmetrical. My mom has big boobs and she fed me as an infant and raised me. So I think I got “BIG BOOBS” wired on the brain when I was an infant. In my view, over the past few generations the boobs on average have been getting larger. So, as time goes on, it seems that more men on average are being breast fed by larger boobs. This infantile comfort of sucking on a big tit carries into adulthood. This is my thought on why there are more young men these days mesmorized by big boobies. That is just my variable view of a multi-variable thing.

The drive to reproduce is most powerful. I even find my self hitting on attractive women constantly. I have trouble supressing the urge. Which brings us to seduction…uh oh well I guess that’s enough.[/ the minor hijack]

12

Breasts,

Ode To breastisisisis…

I love them big,
I love them small.
In fact, I admit, I love them–
Almost all.

From a nice tight A,
To a well-groomed B,
From their cousin the C,
to the grandaddy of them all,
The one and ONLY D!

:slight_smile:

Allright, so it’s lame, and it barely rhymes. The biggest turn-on about breasts, no doubt has to be the woman their connected to. Woman no good…breasts really don’t matter.

I’ve had girls with A-cups and B-cups that I’ve loved more than some of the D-cups I’ve had the honor of hiding in!

The long and the short of it…they’re all good, just remember who they’re attached to, and if you think you’re pissed about how your girlfriend’s jumblies are treated by the more piggish of our society, imagine what it must be to be in her shoes.

13

Ok, major pet peave of mine…“their” in the first sentence should, of course be “they’re”.

14

I don’t suppose the name Maria Magdalena rings a bell? Jesus rocked, man. Wine and women aplenty :smiley:

15

A handful’s enough for me…

-SS:)

16

I have nothing to add to the OP that hasn’t already been said.

Just wanted to say that the subject line of this thread would make an excellent band name.

17

What the person needs is a witty reply to smart aleck remark.

18

Take it from me, Muffin. The more you let your buds know that you’re offended by their remarks concerning your squeeze, the more they’re going to chafe you about it.

I personally guarantee that if you meet the next crude remark with an equally crude reply, you’ll never hear another word about it.

19

It is for me as well, but keep in mind I can palm a basketball.

20

Just to update you, to make things worse, I’m good friends with one of her ex’s, and HE said the only reason he dates her was her breasts.

To clear up a point, I didn’t say I’m not attracted to them, but that’s not the deciding point. i wasn’t even interested until I got to know her better.