I stink at giving at advice, but I’m excellent at making arbitrary decisions. I’m talking about decisions where the pros and cons of the alternatives seem to balance out and there’s no good reason for choosing one alternative over the other.
Don’t waste your time agonizing over a thorny dilemma – let me make the decision so you can get on with your life.
The anklestraps or the boots? With jeans.
Naptime, TV time or time to write the paper (not due until midnight tomorrow)?
The boots.
You know quite well what the answer to this one is, young lady.
Boxers, briefs, things, or al fresco?
Boxers, briefs, thongs, or al fresco?
Spit or swallow? And why?
Briefs.
I have a degree in microbiology, and I can tell you that thongs and al fresco are not good ideas.
Nap time?
Going to the movies in a few hours. Phone Booth or Identity? I really, really don’t care one way or the other.
Phone Booth. Enjoy.
If it’s truly all the same to you, swallow. It will make your partner happy.
This issue has been discussed at “great length” at http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=173531
See, now, this is not an arbitrary decision.
How high are the boots? How high are the ankle straps? How long are the jeans? What else are you wearing? What’s the weather like where you are? And, of course, where are you going? (Because even I think there is nothing more stupid-looking than a woman in inappropriate footwear)
Normally, I don’t like ankle straps with jeans because I think it creates too many horizontal lines around your ankles and breaks up the lovely vertical line of your leg (and it’s all about line), but if the jeans are long enough, it could work. Also, it is May, and getting late in the season for heavy boots (although I am wearing a sweater today because it’s cold).
So, the boots could be the right choice, but maybe not, depending on these other factors. Therefore, it’s definitely not an arbitrary decision, because there is one right choice. We just don’t have enough information.
Wintermute: Here’s M-W’s definition of “arbitrary” (it was free online, so I assume it’s okay to post it):
1 : depending on individual discretion (as of a judge) and not fixed by law <the manner of punishment is arbitrary>
2 a : not restrained or limited in the exercise of power : ruling by absolute authority <an arbitrary government> b : marked by or resulting from the unrestrained and often tyrannical exercise of power <protection from arbitrary arrest and detention>
3 a : based on or determined by individual preference or convenience rather than by necessity or the intrinsic nature of something <an arbitrary standard> <take any arbitrary positive number> <arbitrary division of historical studies into watertight compartments – A. J. Toynbee> b : existing or coming about seemingly at random or by chance or as a capricious and unreasonable act of will <when a task is not seen in a meaningful context it is experienced as being arbitrary – Nehemiah Jordan>
You may question the wisdom of someone asking for my arbitrary opinion, but there’s no question that my opinions are arbitrary.
You’re not my mother. You can’t tell me what to do.
Ok, I’ll write the paper. But only because I want to, not because you told me to. 
Paper or plastic?
Should I stay or should I go?
Plastic. Didn’t you see “The Graduate”?
You go, girl.
Shave the beard off?