Well, a short skirt is fine for a school girl outfit, but none of them wear heels. Have you not been watching your anime? 
Good reading.
I pulled out the Halloween box just the other day, and with a wry smile asked Farmman if he remembered this … a translucent pink witch hat our 3 year-old chose as the cornerstone of his costume last year. Now, we’re both socially liberal…to the point where we assumed this sort of thing would be a non-issue, so our squirminess about the prospect of our son dressing up as Glenda the Good was actually more distressing than any choices he made at the time. But we chided ourselves, made jokes (not that there’s anything wrong with it), and swallowed what we thought was conformist’s hangover as we let him assemble a glam ensemble like only a preschooler can. Long story short – he switched costumes mid-holiday and ended up being Simba for the Big Night.
At the risk of sounding dramatic, the Pink Hat represents the end of his innocent, genderless babyhood for me. It was at this time that he dropped pink from his list of favorite colors and started talking about ‘girl things’ with just a hint of scorn and derision, and if I could identify the putz who planted the seed, I’d strangle the SOB. In reality, there probably wasn’t one person who made him question his choice to dress up as a pink witch, but rather a total mood punctuated by a few pointed, “why would you want to dress up as a girl?” type questions. Kids in general are more perceptive than we assume, and this kid in particular thrives on pleasing the adults around him.
So, while I’m not proud to admit it, I was glad to hear him declare his devotion to Superman this season, not only because we already have the costume, but also because I won’t have to face my own uncharacteristic uneasiness about my boy dressing up as a girl.
On another note: I’m always distressed by the attitude that it’s okay for a boy to dress as a woman as long as it is in caricature. Huge hair, big boobs, tight skirts, garish lipstick and heels, now that’s funny. A teenager dressed as a cheerleader is acceptable and likely to get lots of yucks. But the vaguely femme, which is a more accurate illusion of womanhood is creepy when portrayed by a guy.
Am I the only woman who feels insulted by this?
Yeah, but that rule is there for a reason and I’ve never heard about anybody wanting to drive on the left side simply because.
When I said that, it wasn’t because you’re gay, but because I know many of your opinions and thoughts from other threads. To my mind, this doesn’t fit.
Untrue, but also irrelevant.
Of course not, and I don’t even understand the relevance. Can I only object to child beatings if I wasn’t beaten myself?
I’ll certainly try, when that day comes. Pass on the beige, though.
As someone who has struggled to “fit in” (in other ways, not gender-related), I think SolGrundy is absolutely correct.
Children need to understand what the norms are, and need to be supported when their behavior varies from what is typical for things that are important to them. To leave out normative information is to make it more difficult for them to get along in society - life is full of “games”, and being sheltered from the rules doesn’t make it easier to play. It’s merely isolationist. And confusing. Which then diverts the child’s energy into figuring out what’s going on, when that energy could be better spent developing who they are. Alternatively, you have an isolated adult who can’t get along with people, whose talents are meaningless because they don’t know how to share them.
As a parent I don’t understand WHY lettting your small male child dress as a female for ONE supervised, out-having-fun night of the year is going to make them an awkward unsocialized adult! I think this whole thread has been one long whinge( I’m so f8cked up) and sneaky misogyny hiding as pop pysychology. Frankly I’m thoroughly disgusted!
Oh and fessie, I have ALWAYS struggled to be me in bland cultural soup and consequently have NEVER fit in anywhere. I will encourage my child to be the person he wants to be. Now theres my personal whinge!
I think every male should go as a female for halloween atleast once. Maybe we’d see the absurdness in American stereotypes.
I don’t think I said it was wrong to encourage individuality (quite the opposite!), nor do I think Sol said that. Merely that it’s imperative that children have the tools they need to survive. Just because a little boy has been exposed to the typical male endeavors doesn’t mean he has to be limited by them. But it would probably help him not feel like a freak among other little boys if he has at least a nodding acquaintance with the pasttimes that are their obsessions.
I also think it’s a matter of picking your fights. I haven’t been a parent for long, but it’s already clear that raising these two will take all the energy I’ve got & then some. I’m not advocating raising a fuss at the least little thing.
That was a beautiful post, sven.
I agree with you, but since this thread is over a year and a half old, I think I’ll just lock it off.