Wiki, did the friendship flame-out so spectacularly that you won’t consider ever associating with them ever again? Sounds to me like FBF (Former Best Friend) is testing the waters with you, and doesn’t know how to do it. Not that I’m pushing you to reconcile, but maybe if s/he’s trying to offer an olive branch, you accept it should you not want them strung up for what happened.
Changing the topic, any update on the burned out neighbors?
Well, it’s a long story, let me see if I can be concise. After many years of friendship which was largely one sided in so far as she took and I gave there came a point in time when she became infatuated with a man who claimed to be Cat Stevens, and for our friendship’s sake I stopped trying to open her eyes and just went along with the farce. However once he became ensconced in her life he began beating her and her adopted son from her first marriage. My last straw with him was the night I was over and he threw an axe across the room and embedded it in the wall next to her head. He continued to the pretense, playing at the local band bar as Cat Stevens and even gave an interview to the local PBS station. I was good friends with the station manager and informed them that he was a fraud and they pulled the interview before it was aired. Shortly after some more insanity they moved from Kodiak to North Pole, with her admitting the move was motivated by her feeling of having lost face in the community. Which she had.
Fast forward a few years. We were still friends, and I was happy to hear that she had kicked the Cat Stevens imposter to the curb, but a little concerned that she had a new man already moved in and was pregnant with his child. Sometimes this sort of thing works out though, so she had my blessings when they decided to marry. Fast forward another few months and she calls to tell me that she, her new husband, adopted son and toddler are moving to Kodiak and they are staying with me until they get settled. Oh, and she is pregnant and they are bringing a dog. At this point I had developed my autoimmune and a couple other health issues and was taking a lot of pain meds. Because I loved her and the oldest son I said sure, come on down. She assured me that they were coming with plenty of money and would only be staying with me until they could find a rental.
Well, they arrived broke. The husband is psycho, and both of them were stealing my pain meds. Finally skiffman and I decided to loan them the money to move into a rental. The baby was born and we were tentatively spending less time together. Then things really became crazed, the husband began growing pot and worse, beating on the oldest (adopted) son. (I was there when she adopted this kid, and babysat him forever, and I was his auntie kaiwik, and besides that I just do not cotton to beating kids or women.) Then I began hearing that he was dealing coke, and the behavior of both of them indicated that it was true, so I kept to myself and let them do their thing. Kodiak has a lot of drug problems, but it’s not difficult to stay out of it if you want to. And I wanted to.
Psycho husband made at least four hysterical, very public suicide attempts.
One thing led to another, I still don’t know all of the particulars, but out of the blue one night she called and said that she needed me to bail her and be her third party. I really thought she was playing a joke and laughed. After a few more minutes she convinced me that she really was in jail for selling coke, and I told her that I just could not take on that kind of responsibility, at which point she began cursing me out most horribly. I hung up the phone, and although I heard about the only person willing to third party her was her first husband’s ex-wife, the woman who shot at her when she was first dating the mutual ex-husband. I kept out of it, and I heard that she and her husband and kids were moving to Hawaii to live with his mother, which didn’t last, (remember, he’s psycho) and that they then were moving to Palmer Ak. to live with her mother. They never paid back any of the money we had loaned them, and also walked off with our brand new electric meat grinder and ice cream maker.
This all ended in 2001. She slung so much mud about me to so many people, and there were enough issues accumulated from the years preceding that I decided that it was time to open my eyes and realize that I was better off without her in my life. I have tried to be concise and have left out so many other instances where she did me dirt, and the thought of opening the door makes me shake my head to myself.
And yet, there is still a part of me which wants to forgive and move on. I don’t know, I am confused, letting her back in could be a huge mistake, and probably would, given her track record, but I am soft hearted and always want to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I don’t know what I am going to do. But I am going to thank you, VBob for giving me time to write this out and give it some thought.
As for the burned out neighbors, they are in a rental, he is still working at the big lumber/hardware store in town, and they are back on their feet. Kodiak may have a big drug/alcohol problem, but it also has a very supportive community when a family is in crisis.
Now it’s 4:10 am, and I better get a little bit of sleep before my grandbaby comes! I’ll be back in a bit.
Wiki, long story leads to a short question: Which is stronger, the urge to tell her to get lost, or the urge to forgive?
Get lost wins, so you tell her she need sex and exercise (go take a f*cking hike).
Forgive wins, so try to do it. Forgiveness does not mean you forget what happened, just that you don’t hold it over her head. Let her back into your circle on your terms, not hers. Trust, but verify, and all that.
Either way, I urge you to forgive her because the grudge hurts you, not her.
I agree with Bob.
Morning, everyone. Time for cereal and another fun trip to the laundromat. Today I’m also going to see if there are any real, physical stores in Toronto that carry the kind of washer/dryer we want. I’m a little tired of the laundromat. Very tired of it.
It’s FRIDAY! Woohoo! I needs me some R&R.
So I made cupcakes last night. I discovered I only had one muffin tray, so I had to make two batches of six. They came out quite good if I do say so, though I used half milk and half water instead of using all water as I normally do – just to try it. It was definitely good ‘n moist, but it didn’t rise quite like it perhaps should have, so I’m thinking that the milk just weighed it down a bit. Nevertheless they were delicious and incredibly fluffy. There’s absolutely nothin’ finer in the world of gastronomy than baked goods fresh from the oven and still warm. Even plain o’ white bread is irresistible in this state.
Kai - I find that time has a way of dulling bad memories and enhancing good ones – the Rose-Coloured Rear View syndrome, I call it. (Some may have the opposite view, so I guess it depends on your general outlook on life.) The problem with this is that time makes it easier to overlook the things that you once – and for good reason – could no longer bring yourself to deal with. That makes it easier to convince yourself of the possibility that the other person could have changed, think that maybe they’ve gotten better, ultimately give them a second (third, fourth, sixtieth) chance. Despite your wanting to maybe give it another shot in spite of the historical mountain of evidence against the likelihood of such a thing working out, I’d listen to your gut instead of your heart on this one. People can change, of course – I never rule out that possibility, but if they’ve simply crossed the line one or two (hundred) times too many, then it’s simply not worth the potential heartache and pain unless they can do a damn good job of proving that they want your friendship more than your help. That may sound a bit cynical, but even the nicest, most generous people have to draw the line somewhere if they want to preserve their own sanity and emotional well-being. That’s my own half cent or so on the matter, anyway.
LiLi - What it sounds like he needs is to have a large weight attached to his abdomen 24/7 and ritually fed a morning dose of Ipecac for several months. Call it “sensitivity training.”
Heff&Roo - One of my cow-orkers goes geocaching frequently. He talks about it from time to time. He seems to quite enjoy it and uses it as a good excuse to get out and about. I can see how it would be interesting (assuming you have a good portable GPS to bring along) but I get out infrequently enough (especially with no fixed agenda) that it’s not the sort of thing I’d get to do often at all. It’s a pretty popular pastime, though – there are websites that have people all over the world doing it, and have lists of places in your local areas where caches can be found.
Hey, where’s McUNE? I fear that she tried my recipe and something untoward happened to her. :eek:
[sub]No! No, not those mushrooms! Those are the bad mushrooms![/sub]
Just to make my point clear: You can forgive her and still tell her to get bent. One action does not preclude the other.
Maybe she tried it with magic mushrooms and is still chasing the Dr. Seuss characters around her bedroom.
Happy Friday!
Kai, I’d agree with others and say go with your gut. I wouldn’t trust her at all at this point, but maybe observing from a distance (if possible) couldn’t hurt.
LiLi - what a dickish thing to say! I would have given him the loudest, most embarrassing tongue-lashing of all time!
So, tomorrow I’m going to go buy a bicycle, and start trying to exercise. I keep gaining weight, and I don’t want to “diet.” I have a sedentary job and the occasional walk with the dogs doesn’t do much. I intend to continue eating healthy. Fall is coming, and I won’t have the excuse of “it’s too hot.” Cross your fingers! I hope this sticks. I’m so lazy…
Happy Friday!!!
This has been a heck of a week. Quit-o-clock cannot come too soon. Oh, and did I mention it was billing hell time??
Best wishes to those with family health problems.
kai, I agree with bobbio on the forgiveness does not necessarily equate with contact. This woman sounds truly toxic and a user to boot. Don’t let her get to you again.
Woke up this morning to find out we had another tornado here in Central Florida. Eustis is where my folks used to live and I’ve been there many times.
Best get back to the numbers. 
Tupug
I’m here! 
I haven’t had a chance to try your recipe yet. I need to run to the store to get ingredients first.
YAY!!! It’s Friday!!! I’m excited. A nice long four day weekend.
Last night I went to the scrapbooking store and the entrance fee was nothing. Yes, I spent nothing. Anyway, I went there for a Design Team meeting and was given a project. It’s going to be challenging but fun. Now that I will be going part time if my manager ever files the paper work for a start date for me, the scrapbook store wants me to add a shopping cart and store to their website. I told them that I have never attempted to build a website before and had no clue what I was doing. They said that they would pay for my training and all of the time that I spend on it. So of course I said yes!! I can’t wait to see when they want me to start. It’s going to be fun. They said that they wanted me to do it beceause I’m very computer literate. They are not computer literate. But they are fun.
So now I will have two part time jobs. Yay! I don’t know about the pay rate or anything for the web design job, but since it’s a small locally owned store it’s not going to be much, but I’m happy to learn how to do that. I’m very excited about this.
Haze–I think I have S & G records (as in vinyl)–maybe we can work something out…
kaiwiki–<rumagges around to try to find the right words in the brain pan; Ah, here they are>
RUN LIKE HELL
Roo- I have a bamboo shirt. It’s soft as silk, but not really. (I don’t find silk all that soft to use–to touch, yes; use, no). It acts much like a blend of polyester and cotton. Very bendable, non wrinkly, soft–molds to the shape it surrounds, if that makes sense. Hope this helps. #1 son has (IMS) sheets made from beech fibers. They are so comfy and soft–well, out of the dryer they are!
ems–I hope your mam does all right. Glad to hear that your higher ups are at least human. (I was told that I couldn’t have time off for my sister’s memorial-when I hadn’t even taken all the bereavement leave at the time of her death. I went anyway. Too bad if they couldn’t wrap their heads around the fact that our family memorial for my sister was in Paris. Bastards).
Today is Local Do Nothing Day. I checked my village ordinance and it’s true. I plan on being a good citizen.
Happy Friday to everyone. Weekend will be breakfast date with girlfriend and grad school work. Anyone have any plans I can vicariously live through?
I forgot to weigh in on the bamboo textiles subplot. VWife has on occasion bought bamboo crossstitch floss, but has yet to use it because dogs and cats both try to eat or chew on it before she ever gets to use it.
Maybe it’s Og’s way of telling her to stick to cotton.
Rigs, for your vicarious pleasure, tomorrow is Shrimpfest. I’ll get to see the good Baptists of Cottonfield County drunk off their asses. Also a ga-RON-teed fire call sometime between 5 hours before to 18 hours after, since 2/3 of my department (the sponsors) will be as lubricated as the customers…
:eek: Really? I mean, I’d be willing to give you my firstborn and maybe half my soul, but if you want cash that’s cool too. 
This bears repeating. Wow, kai, that friend sounds like a piece of work.
I love being able to sleep in on Fridays. Hee.
IIIIIT’S FRIDAY!
And after booking me a hotel for a weekend in Nice on the way to Spain and getting my road maps all printed out, I’m off until Tuesday. See you around!
(Curiously enough, the shortest path from here to Nice is what I would have taken, more-or-less along the F-CH and then the F-I borders… but it’s 3h slower than taking highways through CH and then Italy! I’m dreading the explanations to the border guards about the contents of my car)
kai - I say you can forgive her in your own heart, so that you can have piece of mind, but I strongly recommend you have no further contact with her at all. She is obviously a manipulator as well as seriously dysfunctional. You grant her the smallest of kindnesses and she will be walking all over you again, in mud (or worse) encrusted stilettos. Stay away from her!
I don’t want to promise anything. I sold a LOT of my vinyl at a garage sale a few years back. But I may have Bridge Over Trouble Waters (or whatever the album’s name is-the one with that song on it). I will look.
You don’t have to give me money, honey. I meant by “work something out” getting my lazy ass downtown. Although…if you came here, you could peruse my remaining record collection… Oh, and record players ARE tinny sounding. The speakers in them suck (I base this on my childhood–I have no idea what type of speakers are in them today). Record player sound was the reason we all (as teens) went out and bought stereo systems. IMS, I had Jansen speakers, and ? turntable and ? the other thingy–can’t recall its name. I haven’t thought of any of this in 20 years. God, I’m old.
Morning, all! Driving by to say hi. One of the ladies I’m sharing a room with brought her laptop, so I’m popping in to say hi. I had a looong day yesterday – up at 4:30 a.m., 7 hours flying, the last hour and a half with a screaming 18-month-old next to me, and then we had to collect 8 people flying in from hither and hon, and then wander off and eat lunch, and then collect the rental car and drive nearly 2 hours to Tillamook. I got SUCH a deal on the rental car – I’d reserved a compact car, but for $2 a day more, the price of a single upgrade, she popped me up three levels to a nice big SUV with room for all of us and all our luggage.
Marie, the friend we’re visiting here, is in even worse health than we’d thought. She’s diabetic and probably not under really good control, but worse yet, she has such bad breathing problems she has trouble speaking loud enough to be heard. And she gasps and gasps. We’re all worried, needless to say. But she’d made a big pot of heavenly minestrone soup with all organic vegetables a friend had given her, and it was SO good
Silly me, I didn’t bring my bathing suit – who thinks of taking a bathing suit to Oregon in late September? – so today I have to find a suit so I can go sit in the hot tub downstairs. And then then we can go do something. Have you ever tried to get a bunch of women to agree on what to do? Yeah, should be interesting…
Anyway, no time to read, so I hope all’s well with everyone, hugs, boos, best wishes as appropriate! Later, all!
Yes. (that’s what I meant by RUN). The fact that she is NOT emailing you tentatively and honestly, but saying SHE LOVES YOU! YOU’RE HER BESTEST FRIEND! is a huge red flag to me.
I need food, but must lose weight. Hmmm…conundrum there.
What gets me is that she took and took and took and when **kai ** had no more to give, she turned on her. What’s to stop this woman from pulling the same crap again?
**kai ** - you’ve got enough going on, and they don’t make anti-virals for that type of infectious personality
True, dat.
And** Haze**–I forgot to add this: IN NO WAY DO I WANT YOUR FIRSTBORN CHILD. THE LAST THING I WANT IS A BADLY WIRED ALARM CLOCK THAT POOPS!