was actually terribly sad.
With good reason, though –
someone stole his Viagra,
and then substituted some
polonium laced with ricin.
His member, now mutated
into a glowing green
cylinder some 40 feet
distant from the nearest
McDonald’s, frightened The Grimace,
but intrigued my neighbor
Cecilia, who gingerly reached
for her Happy Meal,
which burst into flames.
She immediately dialled 911,
or so she thought.
The call was intercepted
by the Vikings’ defense,
who immediately huddled and
started to giggle uncontrollably.