You money grubbing toilet whore. You have six kids and only care about 5 of them. The other one, who happens to be my wife, you can care less about. She hasn’t seen you for a year and when she finally gets to visit, what do you do? Hug her? Kiss her? Shake her fucking hand? No you don’t do any of that. You hold out your hand for the money you expect to be showered with. Not even a fucking “How are you?”. Just “Where’s the money for the necklace you promised me?” Fuck you, you selfish twat. I work my ass off to send you and your family a check every month so you eat you piece of shit. You still have the nerve mooch from my wife as soon as she arrives. You never once hugged her during her entire life. When the other siblings would do well at school, they all received hugs and treats. Not my wife. While the others got hugs and congratulations, she was promptly ignored. It’s sick. How could such a nice guy like my father in-law marry such disgusting selfish individual. No wonder you are shit poor you twit. You deserve to go back to the rat infested shack you raised your family in. Oh yeah, who was the one who put herself through college and pulled your scank ass out of the gutters? Your second daughter…the one you hate so much, and expect so much from. I hope burn in hell for this. I hope one by one your children leave you and follow their sister. I hope die cold and alone, with all your gold jewelry that you daughters’s sweat and tears paid for. Fuck you.
regretfully related,
MM
Loving his wife doesn’t mean he needs to enable her family. He may have fine reasons for sending the money. Or maybe not. Either way, love does not require him to subsidize anyone.
The reason we send money is this: Before I married her, she was the bread winner for the family. They alll sacrificed to put her through school so she could support the family. With her being the most book smart. The family thought it would a good investment to put her through school. Well I came along and kinda screwed things up. It’s asian custom to pay a bride price anyway. I Didn’t have the $3000 they probably would want so I agreed to help them out with their bills, by sending them money as if she was still there at a job supporting them. Thats why I have no problem sending them cash. Cause I stole their financial means and wisked her away to the states. But her mother is not satisfied with that she wants more. She has always wanted everything from her daughter and gives nothing in return, not even love.
Dude, can you hear how you’ve bought into this bullshit? Their financial means are their own respective problems. Ask yourself this: would you have to send them money if you had, say, accidentally killed her in a car accident?
I’m not trying to tell you how to live your life, but your in-laws sure as hell are, and I’m here to tell you that isn’t the way it should be.
If she were an American girl, you would be dead on correct. I wouldn’t put up with such blatant bullshit. In this case she comes from a culture where payment for a bride is expected. I chose to make mine in installments. On the other hand they are her family and she loves them very much and wishes to give them the best possible life. I love her so there fore I will obey her wishes and help her family. Unfortunately her mother is also apart of the family she wants to support.
If she were an American girl, you would be dead on correct. I wouldn’t put up with such blatant bullshit. In this case she comes from a culture where payment for a bride is expected. I chose to make mine in installments. On the other hand they are her family and she loves them very much and wishes to give them the best possible life. I love her so there fore I will obey her wishes and help her family. Unfortunately her mother is also apart of the family she wants to support.
Thailand. Originally they lived in a rural area 50miles outside of Bangkok. They lost their farm due to poor management. They went to Bangkok, where they lived in slums for 12 years. They put my wife through school and she got a good job. She proceded to rent them a decent house in a good neighborhood 2 years ago.
Hmm, tough one. I think you and your wife should become best friends with the concept of “boundaries”. You both feel that you should give some money to her family; my suggestion would be to decide how much that is, and give that much, and no more. For example, gifts at birthdays and Christmas (or Thai equivalents), the monthly installment of cash, and that’s it. When you think about it, how much is she supposed to give back to her family to repay them? Half of her salary for the rest of her life? Will her siblings all expect her to pay for them, too, and their spouses and children? Will your family always be obligated to pay for the rest of the family that doesn’t seem to be interested in earning their own way? I think there needs to be limits set on this guilty repayment schedule, especially when she is getting no emotional return for what she does for her mother.
We are obligated to pay till her parents die. As long as we send them, whoever still lives under their roof has access to the money too. We send them a certain amount each month and no more than that. That seems to go out the window when she comes and visits. Her mother forces her to give more while she is there. He brothers sisters do not dare to cross the mother, so ther is no help from them. Here is an example of what happens. Eldest brother’s motorbike (his only means of transportation) breaks down. He needs 3000baht (about $70) to fix it. He mentions to his mother that he is going to have a hard time getting the money to fix it. She in turn goes to my wife and says “Give him 3000 baht, or else”. My wife responds with “What does he need it for?” Her mother responds screaming with, " None of your damn business you worthless piece of shit, either pay it or you don’t love your family". Of course my wife breaks down into tears. The brother later actually talks to my wife about it and pays her back, but still one hell of mind trip for someone who is starving her mother’s love. We have much to discuss about her mom, or the lack there of. When she gets back from visiting them this time, things will hopefully change. The afformetioned incedent, was kinda of breaking point for me. Nobody treats my wife that way, not even her mother. It is probably a good thing I speak almost no thai. Though no language can translate the anger I feel towards her mother, and the disapointment with the rest of her family for looking the other way all these years.
Is this a legal obligation, or a moral obligation?
Even if it’s not a legal obligation, have you given thought to treating it like one — send the regular checks through a third party, (such as a lawyer), and refusing any contact? (Change your address and phone number, and do not give them to the evil bitch. Any contact would have to come through the third party — who would tell the bitch that he would not pass along any abusive messages. He could choose to allow contact from siblings, if desired.)
I’m so sorry your wife has had to put up with such a hateful excuse for a mother. It’s very sad. I’m glad she has your support.
It is quite complicated, due to the circumstances of how she got through school as I explained in the OP. You have to understand the culture she comes out of. As the one chosen in the family to go through school (they could pool their resources to send one), she is obligated to support them the rest of their lives, and that is ok with me. There is nothing wrong with a someoens children wanting to support their family. There is no law sayign we have to give them money. It’s her duty as the youngest in the family with an education to do so. What I have a problem with is her mother, and her lack of love for her daughter. It boggles the mind as to how she can love all her children, but one. She doesn’t do this to the rest of them, just my wife. I’m thinking maybe it is a jealusy thing. Cause my wife is above beyond the most capable and intelligent one in the family, and according to her siblings, it was apparent she would be so since early childhood. I don’t know what it is about her that her mother hates. It going to be really tough trying to convince her that the opinion of her own mother doesn’t count, but I"m trying.