I wish my family would let me out of the attic. If only for a moment.
This thread I started is already up to 35,000 views!
I think you’ve understated the views by quite a bit there.
I have 43 … no, make that 44 … incredibly brilliant riffs to make on the posts so far, but I’m keeping all of them a secret, because I don’t want you all to feel bad about how clever I am in comparison to the rest of you.
Just knowing how many incredibly brilliant riffs on the posts so far @CairoCarol is holding back is making me feel inadequate.
CairoCarol is my love child with Aisha Tyler. If you want, I’ll spank her.
Aisha Tyler warned me that if I ever tried to spank her again, she’d sic @burpo_the_wonder_mutt on me.
A major motion picture was made, based on my biography.
It was called Jurassic Park.
I perform a weekly knife-juggling cabaret act for the residents at my local aged care facility.
Tell me about it. I’m the poor bastard who has to hand out liability waivers and pens to everyone beforehand, and sterile wipes and Band-Aids afterwards.
For years now, I’ve been begging @Ferris to teach me how to juggle knives so I can run away and join the circus.
I started the movement to “Save @Ferris” .
I’m embarrassed by all this attention and wish it would all stop.
I found it is increasing not worth it to chew through the restraints they have me in.
I bought a straight jacket on eBay that belonged to Madeline Kahn.
WTF?!? I sold her that straitjacket just last month! Surprised she wants to get rid of it so soon.
When Madeline Kahn threatened me with a strait jacket I agreed to her demands immediately. So she probably had no further use for it.
Years ago, I was an up-and-coming editor, in line to win the editorial equivalent of a Booker or Pulitzer or Nobel prize, when I changed text about Madeline Kahn’s love for strait jackets to say that she had a love of “straight jackets.”
My career never recovered from the ridicule.
But for @CairoCarols editing error I would have been forewarned and never gone near Madeline Kahn, given my phobia about strait jackets.
Thanks for nothing, CairoCarol.
I am spending my entire evening, and probably the entire month of July, weeping over how I inadvertently wronged @Princhester .