:bows three times in the direction of Nocturne:
Truly impressive. Achieved poetic greatness without sacrificing ire and the expression thereof.
I’m not sure why I’m even responding to this, but it is not Catholic practice to genuflect in the direction of coffins. It is Catholic practice to genuflect in the direction of the tabernacle. At most funeral services, of course, this will be the same direction. Too logical for you?
Great rant in the OP, BTW.
Holy Shit.
:`-| sniff
Wow… you read “bitch” that many times and it seems to lose all meaning. 
Want I should off da bitch for youse, Noc?
[delurk]
Applauds
[/delurk]
Nocturne, baby, you can wear shorts around me anytime. Of course, you can wear nothing around me anytime, too.
Looking forward to the wedding?
sweet.
b.
I don’t think all that churchin’ has helped any. Iffin I was you, I’d stop a-goin.
" . . . instead of telling my sister and I that we’re sluts for wearing shorts to church, why don’t you take a look at your OWN daughter who is ALSO wearing shorts to church, you blind fucking BAT."
—Father McNasty will now lead the choir in this week’s psalm.
Father McNasty: “Hoooo wears short shorts?”
Choir: "Weeee wear short shorts . . . "
[helps to imagine organ accompaniment]
Spritle: Is that the new Eminem single? Kinda catchy!
And no double dipping.
Sheesh, Father O’Hara woulda knocked you upside the head if you wore shorts to Mass. Things are a little different at my current church:
Me: “I will no longer feel self-conscious about what I wear to church since that church elder wore cargo shorts.”
Dagan: “Which church elder?”
Me: “I don’t know his name. Tall, sandy-haired…”
Dagan: “We belong to a Norwegian parish. That doesn’t narrow it down AT ALL.”
Holy Mother of God! That was beautiful.
I have to agree with Stoid’s interpretation of the situation. Anyone with that kind of mean spirited, pointless cruelty would just be over joyed if she knew she got to you. Unfortunately it is not very satisfying to just ignore these kinds of people.
I’ve found that these types of people don’t like being confronted with their pettiness in a pitying manner. In other words, suggest that she speak with the Paster, Preacher (whatever) about her “problem.” Or hand her a pamphlet on her particular mental illness. Make sure you do a lot of "Poor Dear!"s where she can hear you.
Next time the chick brings up the shorts issue, tell her what I told my husband’s aunt who treated me to a similar diatribe. I said, sweet as pie: “Gosh, Aunt Alice, if you go to church to judge the people around you, I’d daresay you’d serve God better by staying home.”
**Ha-llelujah! Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Halle-lujah!
Ha-llelujah! Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Halle-lujah!**
That was perfect.
Ummm, Spritle…that was a joke, right?
Having met not only Spritle but Mrs. Spritle and Spritling, I feel as qualified as anyone else (who is not Spritle) to inform you that he was, in fact joking.
And if he is not, may God Hisself smite Saint Nocturne upon my ass.
[sub]Wait, that wouldn’t be a bad thing . . . hey, Saint Nocturne, get over here![/sub]
Wow. That was venom.
I especially liked how you reminded her (and everyone else) of your valedictory status upon graduation.
The fact that you wear shorts to church, regardless of who else does, including her family, was an especially enlightening anecdote.
Catholicism is looking for people like you; you’ll be welcomed with open arms.
Nocturne, well sort of. I found it humorous/ironic/borderline hypocritical that a post regarding church and godliness contained so much profanity. I just wanted to point that out. My use of “regional colloquialisms” was to point out my judgements of a post regarding someone who is too judgemental. Judge that as you will .
iampunha, thanks. I hope to see you again at RTFirefly’s shindig.
No soup, FarmerOak.
Spritle, I was just wondered, because I don’t think curse words are a big deal. I know of a lot of people do, but I don’t think how my calling her a “bitch” is any worse than her calling me “stupid” or “slut” or anything else.
I’ve always considered what we call “bad” words are really determined by society. After all, wasn’t “darn” a bad word once upon a time?
Look, I understand what you’re trying to say, but I don’t see it as a greater hypocrisy than her (a supposed Christian) calling me all sorts of names. Of course, this is something I would probably never say to her, considering I’m not going back to that church again if I can help it.
Just trying to clear things up. I probably made the waters muddier, but I tried.