On a covert mission to Southeast asia, Chuck Norris re-assembled the Delta Force to attack a P.O.W. Camp and liberate an American P.O.W. rumoured to still be held captive from the Viet Nam War. As the Intel was correct, the mission was a success and after 30+ years of captivity, the soldier headed home. Bound for America on a C47 transport, Mr. Norris offerred the soldier a Camel cigarette and asked him what the first thing he (the p.o.w.) was going to do when he got back home. The soldier commented, the first thing he was going to do was go see a John Wayne or Clint Eastwood Cowboy Movie. Mr. Norris, tearing up, said “Son, John Wayne has past away and Clint Eastwood hasn’t made a western since the Unforgivin” However, if it’s a western your achin’ to see, we have Brokeback Mountain"
After viewing Brokeback Mountain the soldier committed suicide.
Chuck Norris once had his own line of toilet paper. It was a spectacular failure as it wouldn’t take shit from anyone.
The most offensive thing in Mr. Roboto’s OP is the implication that Chuck Norris would need a Delta Force Team an airplane or even intel to rescue POWs.
GAAAH!!! These stupid things have completely taken over General Chat in beginner zones on at least half of the World of Warcraft servers. It’s REALLY hard to immerse yourself in roleplaying when 12-year-olds are spamming “Chuck Norris facts” in your window…
Chuck Norris not only birthed the mountain that they filmed Brokeback Mountain on but each tree on that mountain began life as a hair in Chuck’s beard.
Also Chuck Norris wouldn’t need to spit in his hand like Heath Ledger did.
There are two theories, both of which are probably true to some extent.
It’s Conan O’Brien’s fault for regularly showing random Walker, Texas Ranger clips for a while now. CN actually did an appearance on Late Night which was kinda funny. (You can probably find a this clip online somewhere.)
It was Norris’ cameo appearance in the movie Dodge Ball. (I didn’t see it, so I can’t say whether he was onsceen enough for it to make a difference WRT the recent spate of Norris facts.)
Regardless of the reason Norris was used for the second round of <insert actor name> facts, it may also be worth mentioning that “Vin Diesel” facts came first, and the Internet (yes, all of it), is slowly migrating over to “Jack Bauer” facts.
The alternate version of this, which I prefer, goes:
Chuck Norris’ tears can cure cancer. Perhaps ironically, he only cries after he kills someone.
Chuck Norris could fuck both of the cowboys from Brokeback Mountain and it wouldn’t be gay. All other men are anatomically closer to women than to Chuck Norris.
I’ve found it fairly safe and much nicer to just add anyone quoting this stuff to my “Ignore List” on WoW. And I’m trying to start a movement for everyone to ignore anyone who begs money from strangers in WoW. Maybe it will get rid of them.
