Longest possible human bowel movement?

[The_Controvert]

I came across a web page documenting Michelle Hines’ 26 foot long bowel movement. I’m not posting the link as it’s probably NSFW, but you can find it by googling “record longest bowel movement”. Anyway, I’m a bit skeptical about whether it is physically possible to create such a monster, so here I am asking for the straight dope.

[Jake]

@The Controvert

I came across a web page documenting Michelle Hines’ 26 foot long bowel movement. I’m not posting the link as it’s probably NSFW, but you can find it by googling “record longest bowel movement”. Anyway, I’m a bit skeptical about whether it is physically possible to create such a monster, so here I am asking for the straight dope.

Who, or better yet HOW, did they measure it?

[The_Controvert]

Judging from the pictures, it was done in a bowling alley and they used a yardstick or ruler.

[Jpeg_Jones]

As someone on that blog said, I can’t believe she didn’t clench up once during the entire skedaddle down that bowling lane.

[Beware_of_Doug]

I can’t believe it was a CHYK that tried for this record.

[Diogenes_the_Cynic]

I think it’s probably fake. This seems to be some kind of “art” piece by Michelle Hines. . Look at this quote from her website (I won’t link the site because it appears to have a couple of sketchy thumbnails on it. You can find it by googling the name).

The work of Michelle Hines often employs strategies of willful fakery to accentuate particular human dynamics and responses. Whether in her series of fictional—through wholly convincing—world records or in video pieces such as “Yeti” or “Convenience Store Robbery,” the threads of factual circumstances or possibilities are reconfigured to highlight either a sense of possibility or emotions of dread and fear. Her sculpture/performance/video piece “Complete and Utter”—in which strangers are invited into a constructed “money booth” to catch as much actual money as they can, from both real and counterfeit cash blown about them by floor fans—conflates an emotion of shameless greed, transforming it into a relentless joy.

This from the page showing the um…art piece…also seems kind of bogus:

And the accompanying text: “In February 1995, working in conjunction with nutritionists at the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, I adopted a super fiber-rich diet which allowed me to successfully produce a single extruded excrement the exact length of my colon: 26 feet. I documented the extrusion at the Cranbrook-Kingswood High School Bowling Alley, Bloomfield Hills, MI, which offered a length of floor suitable for the process and measuring the results. The cathartic diet was supplemented by a high intake of Metamucil fiber substance. The weeklong endurance prior to the event was ensured by the employment of a plug specifically designed to curtail any premature excretions.”

A plug? :dubious: I think this must be some kind of weird satire.

[Jake]

What picture? There was no link on the OP.

[Beware_of_Doug]

I even more can’t believe that **I HAVE ACTUALLY BOWLED ON THAT EXACT SAME FUCKING ALLEY.
**I even had my first honest-to-gosh date there at the age of 14.
HOLY SHIT.

[Diogenes_the_Cynic]

Plus, what high school is going to agree to let its bowling alley be used for something this bizarre? I’m not believing any of it.

[CalMeacham]

You know, there was already a thread on this a week or two ago. The consensus was one of disbelief (in the veracity of the report, not that she produced such a monstrosity)

[Beware_of_Doug]

What’s not mentioned in any of the links (so far) is thatCranbrook Kingswood shares its campus with the Cranbrook Academy of Art, am MFA degree-granting institution. Ie: they’re used to weird stuff over there.

But not THIS weird.

[postcards]

@Diogenes the Cynic

Plus, what high school is going to agree to let its bowling alley be used for something this bizarre? I’m not believing any of it.

And has anyone here ever tried to walk down a bowling lane?

Fugeddaboutit!

[CalMeacham]

Here you go – further back than i thought it was:

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=356406&highlight=excrement

[Exapno_Mapcase]

Yes, the claim is utter crap.

Did I just say that? :eek:

[Carnac_the_Magnificent]

@Diogenes the Cynic

Plus, what high school is going to agree to let its bowling alley be used for something this bizarre? I’m not believing any of it.

What? You’ve never been to a boweling alley?

[Crandolph]

Ha, my ex-girlfriend went to Cranbrook Kingswood. There’s a taunting joke in there somewhere I feel compelled to work out and share with her … something about the ladies from the campus being full of it… yes…