For one reason or another, it just never seems to work out right, despite all my efforts.
This time, its the fact that my SO doesn’t seem to share the same view of a committed relationship as me.
We’ve seen each other 6 hours in the past month, and she doesn’t seem to be putting forth any effort to do things differently.
Our “committed relationship” is a committment without a relationship.
Once I get my bike back, she’s getting dumped.
I have been dating one, two, and even three women at a time pretty consistently for the past year (since my last SO dumped me). Soon, I will have dated every goddamned woman in Sacramento that I have an attraction to.
(… and it doesn’t help that many of my friends are just now getting engaged)
(oh, and my last ex-SO, who I thought may have been “the one” just got engaged, too.)
Great timing, Bearflag70. I was just about to start a thread about the following frustration, but I’ll save the hamsters their effort.
ARGH!
I have a dear friend, “Alex.” Alex has a few problems, mainly as a result of his family life. His parents are distant, and the father is verbally abusive. On top of this, Alex has ADHD and takes Ritalin. Although he comes across as pretty abrasive when you first meet him, deep down Alex is an amazing person. It takes awhile to get past the machismo and overcompensation, but once you do, he makes a wonderful, caring friend.
But, when it comes to dating, he suffers from a sucking void in the logic department. He moves incredibly quickly from one girl to the other, often hurting them in the process. It feels like he’s trying to fill an emotional space created by his lack of loving family with the girl of the moment.
I try to talk to Alex and gently explain to him what he’s doing, but his denial is as thick as the head of John Ashcroft. I get so FUCKING FRUSTRATED because I hate seeing these girls hurt, especially by someone who I know is, at base levels, good. If he’d been born into better circumstances, this wouldn’t happen, but there’s nothing that can be done now beyond just trying to help him out a bit. A conversation we had earlier had me screaming an apt SDMB quote - “The stupid! it burns like fire!” - in my mind for hours. He simply does not understand that his actions bring about effects which impact those around him.
Damnit, Alex! Grow the hell up or become a eunuch, for God’s sake!
You are love, therefore seeking love is as pointlessly silly as inquiring as to the Bhuddha nature of a dog (“mu”), as silly as the very God of Fire seeking fire.
We went biking a while ago. I rode the bike to her place and left it there because it was too late at night to ride it home. She drove me home that night.
Some of the bitterness has worn off now. I’m feeling better.
Bearflag70, you’re welcome. Let me tell you how my current boyfriend and I hooked up: we lived in the same building and were casual friends. One evening we were hanging out in the lobby with a small group of friends when he looked at me and said, perfectly serious, “I’m not drunk. I’d really like to have sex with you.” LOL! Well, I found him very attractive, so I said, “OK.” We’ve been together just a little shy of two years now.
I wasn’t looking for love, but I’m sure in love now!
Bearflag70,
At least you have a bad relationship to bitch about
It can get worse, as I found when I entered the Cloistered Order of Oracle Admins. Funny, it doesn’t mention celibacy in my contract, but working Saturday-Tuesday, afternoons at that, seems to enforce it nicely.
