Man, a thread like this makes me feel old. Had the leftover influence of the 60’s and before herpes. Interesting thread though
Know what you mean, my experiences predate most of the scarey stuff too.
I lost my virginity… well about a week from now it will have been a year.
I don’t really regret it. It was a learning experience for me. Looking back on it I don’t even think it lived up to my standards just because I didn’t have standards despite having read a bazillion trashy romance novels in my tweens.
I haven’t slept with many guys since then, only a couple. Each one was a new experience and I’ve found I enjoy it better as I learn more. I’m also a fast learner as my last couble bf’s said 
I’m definately more picky then I was this time last year. Like I said… it was a growing experience. I don’t regret anything I’ve done in my life because I wouldn’t be the person I am today if I hadn’t done some of those things.
Just a word to the wise, when you do ‘do the deed’ make sure at least you two aren’t drunk and be sure you trust him. For some it hurts (for me it didn’t shrugs), but it’s always good to have your first be someone you trust.
- No regrets about the age or the act, but I do wish I’d been a little pickier about the partner, just because he ended up being kind of a schlub, so that taints the memory a bit.
On the other hand, I’ve never been with a man who was a virgin, but always kind of wanted to be. Not in a cave-girl agressive kind of way of course, but just because it would be nice to know that someone out there would always remember me as their first. Overall though, I really think anyone’s first time should either be with
A)someone who’s just as inexperienced as you are–so the akward embarassment is mutual–or,
B) with someone with lots of experience who is willing to be a “teacher” of sorts, without any kind of virginity poaching undertones
Thanks all. I think I’m getting
a) a lot of advice (thanks again)
b) the idea that noone regrets losing (or not losing, but having sex for the first time, fine) their virginity, but some regret (dislike) the circumstances, or the partner.
BTW, I am a girl, just to clarify. As I said before, I’ve got a lot of soul searching before I’m ready, and then a relationship, cause a one-night would scare the hell out of me.
Carry on, you can never have too much info.
19 and I was in love with the guy. He turned out to be a complete prick, but that was later. My first time was everything I thought it should be. Very romantic and painful. If I could go back, I’d probably do it the same way. No regrets. I learned a lot from the whole thing.
18, a college freshman, to a 19-year-old (also virgin) guy I met on this board a year previously - we are still going out now, and I’m moving to be with him in July. We’re engaged, although we weren’t quite yet at the time of the loss of virginity (six weeks later we exchanged rings). No regrets, obviously. It was actually quite enjoyable - I’d always heard that your first time wasn’t as much fun.
I was 17. Then almost 10 years later I met a guy who was waiting until marriage. At that time I was really sad that I hadn’t waited, too and telling him was really hard. We got married. It turned out he was a total perve. Even though he hadn’t had sex with another person he had looked at a lot of fetish porn. There were things that turned him on I could just not get into. We divorced pretty quickly
I still think waiting is preferable. It’s the surest way to avoid unwanted pregnancy ans STDs. BUT if you decide not to wait my urgent recommendation is that you do not then marry someone who did wait. If you both wait you can figure it all out together. If neither of you has waited you are at least on equal footing.
I don’t know what’s worse, the fact that I was only 12, or the fact that I was too drunk to remember much of it. But no regrets…
I was 18, the night of my high school graduation, and I lost it with the wrong girl, so to speak. There wasn’t enough of a relationship with her.
I guess, emotionally, sex held enough significance for me that I couldn’t make it “just casual sex”. However, the relationship that I did have with this girl was not enough to reach the needed level of significance. This is hard to express - I’m not doing will with this paragraph. Basically, the relationship was not mature enough with this girl for use to be having sex - the way I felt about sex at the time.
I’ve since had sexual relationships with women that I was happy about & ones I regretted. To me, sex is - and will remain - more than just pleasure - it’s an extension of an emotional relationship.
To have sex before the relationship is ready for it is a mistake.
FWIW, I don’t regret it, and I am still friends with the first woman with whom I did The Deed.
I have also been married to her for the last twenty-something years.
So I have no regrets. Whatever you decide, try to be sure you will feel the same.
Regards,
Shodan
I was 18 and change, and had been dating the guy rather seriously for about 7 months at the time (about half of it long-distance). He was an absolute sweetheart about the whole thing; in fact, it would have been a couple of months sooner than it was, but he decided I wasn’t emotionally/psychologically ready (no small feat for a horny 19-year-old guy whose girlfriend is trying in a very determined manner to unbutton his jeans) and peeled me off of him.
In retrospect, he was absolutely right that the timing was wrong the first time around – he was visiting me at college at the time, and if we’d gone ahead and had sex that weekend and then he’d gone home a couple of days later, I would have missed him even worse than I did anyway and been completely miserable. It ended up happening over Christmas break (and by the way, I totally blew Mom’s theories about curfews; it was the middle of the afternoon, and I was home before dinnertime).
I have absolutely no regrets about the experience. We eventually broke up – we are very different people – but we are still good friends. He lives in Wyoming now, but 14 years after the fact, I still talk to him every couple of months and hang out with him whenever he’s in town. I even took a road trip to Wyoming for his wedding.
All American cliche. I lost mine in at 16 in the back seat of a car at a drive-in movie.
OK, here are several pages on the subject.
Yeah, but instead of how did you lose your virginity, I’m asking when, and how did you feel about it. Both ABOUT losing your virginity, not the same thing. But thanks for the link, it’s amusing.
Guess I’m next, since I didn’t put in an appearance in the other thread…
I was 20; she was… well, let’s just say, younger. We were both totally in love, and had gotten there so gradually over the span of a few months that it was basically nothing when it finally happened. I think we were both glad to have shared it with each other, though, to be honest, I’ve never been sure I was her “first.” Doesn’t really matter now, point is, I don’t think either of us have any regrets.
Hmm, upon re-read, I made it sound like something illegal or something. If anyone cares, she was 17, and only two years behind me in college.
22, wedding night. One of the better decisions I/we have ever made. I’m very happy about it.
Godzilla[something] had a thread a few weeks ago, my story is there.
Well, just so you know it’s not all sunshine and roses, I will regret for the rest of my life how I lost my virginity, as it was ‘taken’ from me without my consent by a boyfriend I’d had for three years and told me that no one else would love me and I might as well give it to him and when I didn’t give it to him, he tied me up and took it.
After that I waited until my wedding night, which was with the man of my dreams, my best friend, my soul mate, the greatest guy in the whole world…and I felt terrible that he had waited for that special moment and I had nothing to give.
So be careful. There are many sides to this story. Sometimes it’s wonderful, sometimes no biggie, but yes, sometimes it can be a mistake.
Nothing to give? I hope you don’t really think that. I’m sure your husband wouldn’t agree.
I told the story in the other thread, but the quick rundown is:
Lost it at 18, to my first college-girlfriend. I loved her, and I think she loved me too, but it wasn’t a “forever” thing. We were really happy once we had done it. I think we thought that having sex gave us super-powers that virgins did not possess. Yes, we were stupid, but happy.